God & Gays: Bridging the Gap The Movie. The Message. The Movement.

Luane's riding 100 miles in summer heat...why?

2009-04-01T16:08:00.000-07:00

From previous posts, you'll remember Luane ran a marathon (that's 26 back-blowing miles...at once) two years ago with Team in Training which raises funds for Leukemia and Lymphoma research. This year, she's willing to put on very tight pants with a pad in the butt and ride 100 miles (all at once) in summer heat through the mountains of Lake Tahoe, CA to do the Team in Training Century Ride. Our baby Jordan and myself will be there to cheer her on.

We need your help to raise $2500 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Donate now online at: http://pages.teamintraining.org/sj/ambbr09/lbeck

Since Luane's marathon, a 40-year old teacher of the two boys she helped raise was diagnosed with leukemia and is currently desperately seeking a bone marrow match to stay alive (know anyone who's German and Native American?). She has a husband, she has kids and a life she'd like to live. Luane, who's German but not Native American, couldn't just not do anything.

We're asking for your donation and support for Luane, the teacher, and the thousands of others touched by the disease. Every bit helps so to donate: http://pages.teamintraining.org/sj/ambbr09/lbeck

Meet someone who's alive today because of people giving to Team in Training...below is also a very inspiring story written by Luane's training coach, who's also a cancer survivor.

We all have a story.........Here is part of mine!
Even though I don't like the limelight, I am involved in Team in Training because I do feel that it brings awareness and hope to those that now meet face to face with cancer. All of us will encounter a love done with this deadly disease some day. But, as we become educated, the fearthat cancer carries with it is tackled, and hope is born! With hope comesaction. We can then take steps towards contributing to something greater than ourselves. I truly believe that the greatest satisfaction is not only challenging ourselves to overcome life's many steep mental and physical climbs, but to share the gift of life that each of us holds. Through my surviving Hodgkin's Lymphoma, I want to show that life after chemo, life after radiation, life after spinal cord damage...... is life as we make it. I admit, I still have the fears of a shortened life due to chemotherapy poisoning, a destroyed thyroid and heart damage, but I am not going to let it slow me down. "Life is short" they say, but a childhood friend once told me why *he* did not fear death: he said "it is the lastthing I will ever do, so why worry now?!" Clever. I try and live by thatmotto. With my involvement in Team in Training, I hope in my own way that Ican help give those that will be diagnosed with cancer the same great odds that I have been given. At the same time, helping individuals attain their fitness goals and take on a daunting challenge such as a 100 mile bike ride, gives me immeasurable joy. I have seen so many lives changed! This change happens to those that look fear straight in the eyes, use the resources available to them and then never look back as they work hard to the end. A person's goal is never met in a solo effort however! It is always a team effort. This is the philosophy that Team In Training promotes, and I believe in.

Thank you for your support,

Mike

We all appreciate anything you can give: http://pages.teamintraining.org/sj/ambbr09/lbeck

Thank you for...being you and for being in our lives.

Kim Clark

Portia Apologizes for Marrying Ellen

2009-03-27T09:26:00.000-07:00

Movie Posters Arrive

2009-03-21T17:50:00.000-07:00

Our distributor sent us some theatre posters and boy are they huge. We don't know where we'll put them but I'm thinking of taking it around our screenings and talks and take photos with it like Amelie's gnome (and taken over by Travelocity's ad campaign).

Believe it or not, I sometimes forget we have a movie (actually two) available for rental and purchase all over the world. It's a trip when I see it listed on Amazon, in Barnes and Noble and on Netflix. It's been 5 years since our first movie released and I guess I just won't get used to it.

Some people ask what's next for us...Luane wrote a very funny narrative script and we're in pre-production in getting it funded and cast....and when that starts to happen, it'll be for a different blog. In the meantime, we enjoy seeing God and Gays proliferate around the country. Thank you for watching it and we hope it's done ya some good.

Prop 8 Hearing on March 5th in California - A Day in Catholic School

2009-03-03T19:37:00.000-08:00

This week, I spent an entire day speaking at an all-girl Catholic high school (my third year there) junior's class about the movie and all things GLBT. It happens to be the week the California Supreme Court are also hearing oral arguments on the legality of prop 8. There's a ton of places to go to get filled in so I won't duplicate it here but one thing I said to each class was that they were in live history.

I let the class drive the discussion and we often ended up talking about the whole "us vs. them" societal evil. We talked about the movie Milk, prop 8, the holocaust, interracial marriage, women's suffrage, native american genocide and Chavez's work for the mexican farm workers. Each class would see the connections on how the "us vs. them " paradigm remains alive and well to this day...the "them" just keeps getting updated. Currently the "them" are GLBT folks. Next up, according Rev. Dr. Mel White and many others...actually you can see its been happening for a few years now, are muslims (just ask Sally Kern - see March 2008 postings).

They took a lot away from the discussion and got their questions answered of which they had many. I wish I could do these kinds of talks every day, everywhere. Imagine how much could be accomplished when we actually talk and get to know each other....

See us on Ellen??

2009-02-21T17:21:00.000-08:00

The first time coming in from the front, the next time from the back. That's my philosophy on how we'll get on Ellen one day. My sister made the first part come true by getting four tix to the Ellen show audience. My mom, sister, Luane and I were on the show with Naomi Watts Wed Feb 18th. My mom and sister were shown 2-3 times, they sat in the "dance row" and Luane and I were on the first aisle she dances on, I had an aisle seat so you see me 2 or 3 times as well. We had a great time, it was a neat experience, my hands hurt from clapping so much. We're half way there...

Before the taping, a friend of mine who edits the TV show Chuck took us for a tour around the Chuck set and we watched the actors block and rehearse a scene. We got to meet one of the Nerd Herd, Scott, who's a very cool guy. He was the character who was a Missile Command champion in a previous episode. We walked around the set, with the baby even who didn't make a sound.

We saw Kristin Chenowyth from Pushing Daisies and Wicked (NY) who fell for the baby's cute cheeks. It was good to be back on the Warner Bros. lot again.

We were only in LA for 24 hours, to do the show and tour and bolt back, man that was a crazy trip. I attached a photo of Luane on the lot with the baby.

I'm Turning 40

2009-02-08T21:18:00.000-08:00

My big 4-0 birthday is coming up and with the new baby taking up all possible energy, I won't be having my big party with everyone I've ever met in my life boogeying the night away while eating chocolate chip cookies as I had always dreamed. Instead, my mom and sister are in town for my grandfather's memorial 5k run and family reunion so we're going to have a baby shower.

I don't know yet what I'll do exactly on my birthday, but it may involve sleep...I'll have to make it up later in the year, like a 40.75 birthday party.

Racial Workshop...and a baby?

2009-01-25T20:11:00.000-08:00

This weekend, I've been helping shoot video for a weekend workshop Rev. Deborah L. Johnson is running on the Power of Privilege. She's taking on the hardest and deepest wounds around racism...and connecting them to all the other "isms" in our society...classism, sexism, heterosexism and so on. It's been profound seeing all they all operate under the same fear and how she puts things into perspective and lowers the threats, teaching us to see the big picture, it's been an amazing weekend. She hopefully will release it on DVD soon.

Before the workshop started, Luane and I got a call for a newborn still in the hospital. Luane and I have been licensed fost/adopt parents at the County for just over a year and this is the first time it looks like we'll actually get a kid. We're learning all about him...how he's in the NICU because he doesn't have the natural capacity to know how to suck. He was exposed to meth while in utero.

We've been trained and are prepared to take on this challenge and help him recover sooner than later. We're so excited, we can barely sleep...when that's what we need most of before the critter comes home and owns our nights.

Wish us luck....

Inauguration Day

2009-01-21T15:02:00.000-08:00

I had three favorite parts to the Inauguration today:

Rick Warren's prayer was milktoast, superficial and muted
Obama is now our president
Rev. Joseph Lowry was sincere, humorous (I was waiting for his rhyme to include "And the gay will have his day") and grounded

I watched the ceremony from my office, online. God bless the internet and the addition of streaming video. I had several friends in the million+ crowd and could feel their excitement as I cried while watching Obama swear in. I've never in my life known when the inauguration ceremony was, nevertheless watched it. This one, I couldn't wait for, it was like a concert I've had tickets to for eight years.

Inauguration Prayer - Bishop Gene Robinson

2009-01-18T19:48:00.000-08:00

The man whom conservatives call the reason for the current Episcopalian church split just because he's honest in who he is, speaks a prayer of unification and oneness for Obama, and all of us...

A Prayer for the Nation and Our Next President, Barack Obama

By The Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson, Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire

Opening Inaugural Event

Lincoln Memorial, Washington, DC

January 18, 2009

Welcome to Washington! The fun is about to begin, but first, please join me in pausing for a moment, to ask God’s blessing upon our nation and our next president.

O God of our many understandings, we pray that you will…

Bless us with tears – for a world in which over a billion people exist on less than a dollar a day, where young women from many lands are beaten and raped for wanting an education, and thousands die daily from malnutrition, malaria, and AIDS.

Bless us with anger – at discrimination, at home and abroad, against refugees and immigrants, women, people of color, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

Bless us with discomfort – at the easy, simplistic “answers” we’ve preferred to hear from our politicians, instead of the truth, about ourselves and the world, which we need to face if we are going to rise to the challenges of the future.

Bless us with patience – and the knowledge that none of what ails us will be “fixed” anytime soon, and the understanding that our new president is a human being, not a messiah.

Bless us with humility – open to understanding that our own needs must always be balanced with those of the world.

Bless us with freedom from mere tolerance – replacing it with a genuine respect and warm embrace of our differences, and an understanding that in our diversity, we are stronger.

Bless us with compassion and generosity – remembering that every religion’s God judges us by the way we care for the most vulnerable in the human community, whether across town or across the world.

And God, we give you thanks for your child Barack, as he assumes the office of President of the United States.

Give him wisdom beyond his years, and inspire him with Lincoln’s reconciling leadership style, President Kennedy’s ability to enlist our best efforts, and Dr. King’s dream of a nation for ALL the people.

Give him a quiet heart, for our Ship of State needs a steady, calm captain in these times.

Give him stirring words, for we will need to be inspired and motivated to make the personal and common sacrifices necessary to facing the challenges ahead.

Make him color-blind, reminding him of his own words that under his leadership, there will be neither red nor blue states, but the United States.

Help him remember his own oppression as a minority, drawing on that experience of discrimination, that he might seek to change the lives of those who are still its victims.

Give him the strength to find family time and privacy, and help him remember that even though he is president, a father only gets one shot at his daughters’ childhoods.

And please, God, keep him safe. We know we ask too much of our presidents, and we’re asking FAR too much of this one. We know the risk he and his wife are taking for all of us, and we implore you, O good and great God, to keep him safe. Hold him in the palm of your hand – that he might do the work we have called him to do, that he might find joy in this impossible calling, and that in the end, he might lead us as a nation to a place of integrity, prosperity and peace.

AMEN.

Would You Still Hand Me the Ketchup if You Knew I Was Gay?

2009-01-11T15:53:00.000-08:00

Luane and I live, funny enough, in the most religiously conservative part of our county. Everyone's white, Christian, 2.5 kids, suburbans and soccer games. Churches thrive here. There's Christian camps in the woods. The local Peet's coffee even let one of its employees who's a congregant gather donations for her church with a purchase of a coffee. The No on 8 and Yes on 8 battle was quite fierce right in our own backyard.

There's a breakfast place Luane and I go to pretty often where the staff walk up, know what we want to eat and are always happy to see us, no matter how grungy we may look. They don't know our names or what we do for a living, although a month ago our photo was on the front page of the local paper. We look different in baseball caps.

One time we were there, the guy next to us heard me talk about how we were just interviewed for 90 minutes on KGO radio, the #1 radio station in the San Francisco Bay Area. He decided to let us know his opinion on how gay marriage is ridiculous, blah, blah, blah...Mind you, were sitting having buckwheat pancakes, catching up with Luane's mom for a leisure Saturday breakfast out. One would think that's a safe thing to do.

Alas, with our experiences on the road with the movie in some of the most conservative parts of the country, we have become alert at all times for conversation hijackers. Fortunately, we're grounded in who we are, and understand this is a guy wanting to be heard and helped. He's in essence asking someone to help free him from his own thought bondage. Our work is to be part of this experience for folks, so we handled it with compassion....and still it was unsettling for both him and us. But we both grew from it, I'm sure.

The last time we were in the cafe, I wanted to ask the table next to me if I could borrow their ketchup. They were a straight couple, older. I had hesitated in asking them. I just wanted to eat my eggs, not get into it again with someone, as I realized I had become more hyper-sensitive when I'm out about town in who I engage with in conversation since prop 8. Prop 8 had introduced this "neener-neener" mentality where the yes voters felt they had the right to say what they wanted about gay people and marriage. I'm sure many gay people had either gone back in the closet or something similar. Luane and I won't do that, but we're also careful of choosing our battles...we never start them mind you....we never start them.

So, I have eggs, I like a dash of ketchup, the straight couple next to us has the bottle. I have lots of choices, I choose the brave one and ask the couple for the ketchup. They smiled, were very pleasant and we had a nice and polite exchange. I even returned the bottle with my third thank you. Then, I started to wonder in my head...if they knew I was sitting here with my female partner, my spouse...if they knew I was gay, would they have treated me the same way?

I recognize straight people may be blown away that me, or any gay person would actually have questions like this, but I know I'm not alone. We're all a bit gun shy, just in different ways. I pray for the day that I won't have to be looking around our favorite breakfast place to make sure we're in a safe space. I want that for everywhere around the US, and the world. I hope you want that too.

Join the Impact

2009-01-03T14:40:00.000-08:00

Yes, we've been away for a while and a lot of life has happened...what an amazing end to 2008. The election, Our Family Matters conference in Nashville, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and a New Year.

Plus, we're still celebrating the exciting news that the DVD is finally in wide release, available everywhere DVDs are sold and rented. This one includes a never-before-released audio commentary with Luane and I...which is funny and packed with behind-the-scenes info on how we made the movie. I had a cold and in the spirit of "keeping it real" we didn't re-record once I was well; we like the raw, in the moment feel like you see throughout the documentary.

Some people have wondered how life was like for us during and since prop 8 and thank you for your kind notes and prayers...for they are for all of us as discrimination rears its ugly head just as it has done once religion gets involved in issuing rights to minorities. All good is coming from this though...if you've not heard of the online grass roots group JoinTheImpact.com, check them out and get involved. Often people are left feeling helpless as the Goliaths seem too big to do anything about...alas, the bigger they are, the harder they fall...just look at a history book that hopefully is accurately written.

Prop 8 is asking for us to have conversations, to deal with social equality once and for all. This is our chance to stop the abusive pattern of demonizing a segment of society and continuing the craziness of "us vs. them". It's never worked, it won't, we need to accept we are all one and get over the spiritual immaturity to believe anyone is better than anyone else. So this is my wish for 2009. We're all one, so let's start acting like it. Enjoy the freedom that it invites, the peace, the diplomacy. Have fun today.

Obama, Warren and Lowry

2008-12-03T23:51:00.000-08:00

What are we to think or believe about Obama's action around inviting Pastor Rick Warren from Saddleback church in Southern California to speak at his inauguration? Some feel slighted, some are confused, some are downright pissed. There's a lot of hurt already from prop 8 and now one of the major funders and champions gets a worldwide stage next to our next president. We thought we voted discriminatory and arrogant conciousness out of the White House in November. But this is victim-speak.

I get why he did it, and it still wasn't the best move. With a country packed with pastors of influence, why choose one who openly chooses to go against the unconditional love and respect for all God's creation Jesus teaches?

Feels like a big ouch...and not just from people in the gay community. There are many stunned straight people as well. It was an unneccessary move, with so many other better choices.

He did get it right with choosing Rev. Dr. Joseph Lowry, who ran with MLK and is very open in supporting the gay community, to also speak at the inauguration. I wish Lowry got all the attention, he's the one that deserves it. I praise Obama for choosing him, he has the right message of oneness, reconciliation and peace. Anything outside of that doesn't deserve a pulpit, it's not worth our time.

Rick Warren has made oodles of money from his churches and book sales. I've had friends from Soulforce scheduled for months to have a lunch with him only to arrive to an awkward hug and his rapid disappearance.

I encourage you to not fall for the Warren hype, focus on Lowry, his message ought to get our attention and celebration. The Rick Warrens of the world only survive when there's an audience that'll listen. The more we don't listen to the rhetoric, the faster it'll go away and the more space is made for the Lowry's of our one world.

Marriage is a Basic Human Right

2008-10-18T12:53:00.000-07:00

With the election around the corner and people buzzing about mailing in their ballots to make sure they vote (and the extra postage it takes), it's been a fascinating ride watching people for me. Outside my door near the parking lot is a sign telling people to vote for a proposition that would take away my right to be married to the person I love. It's here, in my face. When I see it, my stomach is quesy because it's a child crying for help, it reminds me of the pervasive fear in our society. Prop 8 is a projection of desperate control by actually changing the constitution to make discrimination legal. What year is it? What state is this? California and America is better than that.

Rev. Deborah has a video breaking down what Prop 8 is about, check it out:

Although on the surface Prop 8 in California is saying to vote for it to "save marriage". Just like any other marketing term, you say it often enough and people will start repeating it and believe it actually means something. With just a brief amount of thought, one would recognize the proposition and its stance has nothing to do with marriage, saving it or not. There's already studies saying the divorce rate will drop with same-gender couples marrying...because people will actually marry who they genuinely love rather than who they think they are supposed to marry.

We see No on 8 signs around town too, many of them vandalized. I think to sum up the tension that exists on this topic around marriage equality is with the no on 8 sign torn right where it says "equality for all". The tear separates "equality" from "for all".

Anger manifested. Even McCain's current campaign strategy is built on deflection and anger..."it's the other guy's fault", "look what he's doing and not doing". It's all distraction, no ownership or integrity behind it. That same mindset of fear trickles down to the little No on 8 sign with torn equality.

How did we get here? When did our hearts get so suffocated as to be so desperate to make discrimination against a segment of society legal? When did it become okay to vote on someone else's relationship? What if your relationship was up for a popular vote right now...every day someone is marking their ballot and deciding the validity of your relationship...they don't know you, and they don't care to.

No, really...take a second and feel what that would be like for you. Even when Prop 8 is defeated, I drive out of this state and I'm no longer married. Can you just imagine what that feels like? On my federal taxes I have to lie under penalty of perjury and state I'm single...and sign my name to it. What would that feel like to you?

Below the drama and victimization, this proposition is about changing the state constitution. The California Supreme Court (which is a Republican majority) recognized that it was unlawful to not allow committed same-gender couples to marry, they did not "give" us the right, it was there all along. Equality is built into the constitution. It's been a given since the beginning. The pilgrims left England so they could create equality and not suffer persecution. So we're now being asked to reverse the very premise the country has been built on? For what? People loving each other?

An axe murderer on death row retains the right to be married...so regardless of what you feel about people's behavior, marriage is a basic human right. It's incredibly dangerous to allow a group of people motivated by fear to start picking and choosing which segment of society gets to be equal and who doesn't. Who's next? Muslims? Immigrants? Whoever the threat du jour is.

California has been here before with interracial marriage in the late 1940s. The same argument was used, the same fear tactics and here we are again. The world didn't explode when an African-American fell in love with a Latino-American person. The world still won't explode when same-gender people fall in love. Plus, it's always been a part of the human race, it's not like being gay started a few years ago.

Please understand what trying to control other people's behavior creates. The division, not only as a society but also with people feeling the division internally. Whenever we feel confusion, we must just seek peace. Our inner guidance will step up if we allow it to.

I don't tend to touch anything that is fear-based...my criteria are love-based: are people treating other people equally, is this proposition fair, is it expanding rights allowing people to become more of who they are, is it freeing. If it feels like control, fear, anger...I want nothing to do with it.

And my inner Anne Frank believes people will do the right thing. I can't imagine how and why I'd be qualified to vote on someone else's life and especially their love. It's absurd that this is even happening, it's desperate to take control when it would nothing of the sort. Committed same-gender people will still be married and they will continue to marry, nothing would change...except greater alienation, which is exactly the opposite of what we need as a society right now. We have to be there for each other at a time like this. We have to stand up for each other. We have to protect the constiution as it was written to treat all people equally. Please vote no on prop 8.

God and Gays DVD Release November 11th

2008-10-15T14:02:00.000-07:00

We're thrilled to announce that God and Gays: Bridging the Gap is being re-released on DVD Tuesday, November 11th! So, pre-order it from Amazon, Save it in your Netflix queue, tell a friend...think of the holidays and who could use a movie to remind them of just how loved they are, just as they are...thank you for supporting us all this time. Enjoy the movie!

God and Gays Shows in Los Angeles Oct 23-26

2008-10-15T13:59:00.000-07:00

We've heard from our film distributor that God and Gays: Bridging the Gap will show for one week at the Los Angeles Laemle Grand. Spread the news, invite friends and enjoy the movie!!

Ray Boltz Headlines Our Family Matters

2008-10-02T13:52:00.000-07:00

This year's conference is really shaping up...I can't believe the enormous support we're getting from people who want to volunteer, attend and participate. People have been waiting for someone to do something like this and now that someone has, all kinds of energy is around it.

And the timing couldn't be better. Recently, Ray Boltz, the widely-successful contemporary Christian music artist, 3-time Dove Award winner with his biggest hit, "Thank You"...came out. He's gone public and has a whole new CD he's working on.

Our Family Matters is a perfect match for Ray Boltz and he'll be headlining our celebration concert on Saturday night, Oct 25th. With Valerie Joi Fiddmont and Holy Trinity Community Church also performing...let's just say you have to be there to see the grand finale we have planned.

Join us in Nashville Oct 22-25 for Our Family Matters. Come and see Ray Boltz, Dr. Jack Rogers and Rev. Deobrah Johnson in person. There's nothing else like it.

Luane and I Got Married

2008-10-01T13:35:00.000-07:00

For our 4-year wedding anniversary, we decided to get married again! This time, legally. We did just the opposite of our first wedding and had a very intimate ceremony officiated by Rev. Deborah L. Johnson of Inner Light Ministries. We held a sunrise ceremony on a beautiful park-like setting overlooking the Pacific Ocean, surrounded by trees.

I cried, no surprise there. I really lost it when Rev. Deborah was standing very close to me and said "lawfully". My mom said she didn't even think of the importance of that word until she heard it and saw my reaction. My mom even said she thought of other parents who've shunned their kids for "being gay" and how much they would miss experiencing with their kids. She teared up thinking all she would have missed. She's my best friend and I'm glad she's always chosen love when it comes to hard stuff.

The key thing was this felt different. Not different in my love or my promise to Luane and our partnership, but...different. It meant no one could say to me, "your relationship isn't the same as mine" even though I've never believed it anyway. With straight people surrounding us, going into the county building and getting our license....it felt very real. I don't expect you to understand, but if you've ever just believed in yourself and who you are when no one else did, you can relate. Just by sticking to your commitment and clarity of who you are, you just waited for the others to catch up. When they did, it felt...different...and maybe even surreal. That's what it's like.

I'm behind on getting the photos up because of all the planning work around the conference, but I will get them up eventually. Thank you for all your emails of well-wishing for our special day!

Hallmark Unveils Gay Wedding Cards

2008-08-26T11:06:00.000-07:00

I got this forwarded from RetailWire today....

Article Preview:

Two months after California sanctioned same-sex marriages, Hallmark announced plans to introduce same-sex wedding cards. Making no direct mention of same-sex unions, the cards feature two tuxedos, overlapping hearts or intertwined flowers, with neutral best wishes inside. One says: "Two hearts. One promise." What do you think of the market opportunity for same-sex wedding cards? How big a backlash, if any, do you expect Hallmark will receive for introducing the cards?

*************

One topic that is often talked about in the gay community is the challenge of walking into a Longs to get your partner a birthday or anniversary card and none are really accurate. For Luane, I've been settling for the To My Wife cards, but we're among the camp who aren't into the wife title. Sometimes I'll scratch out the Wife part and put Partner. Many of our straight friends aren't into 'wife or husband' as well, so it's not just the gay community looking for cards to reflect current relationships. Partner is much more widely used, gay or straight, in relationships. Partner feels more equal, more deliberate, more committed for the right reason.

Yes, there's been independent artists and stores creating same-gender (same-sex is also not an accurate statement) cards for years. And, there's been occasions when I don't have the time to order cards on line or go to San Francisco to find a store that might have the tone and words I want to say in a beautifully decorated card to express my love, so I run to the local Walgreens. Or, I make my own and bypass the whole inaccurate card purchase.

It's been a joke, it's been a frustration, now it seems it'll finally be a thing of the past. We'll say, "remember when there was only husband and wife cards? As if those titles were the only choices to box in what we called our partners...and ourselves?"

Thankfully, Hallmark is joining the long list of companies who get that gay relationships are still relationships, and we too deserve an appropriately loving and sentimental wedding card for our partner. It's all the same. Love is love. I'm looking forward to the day I can get Luane a Valentine's card and not have to scratch off the Wife.

Vow to Vote No on 8 in November

2008-08-23T11:50:00.000-07:00

There's a large coalition of churches, resource centers, politicians, companies, universities and community members unified to defeat prop 8 in November. To learn more, support the defeat which will allow Luane and I to be legally married, go to: www.noonprop8.com for more information. You can donate no matter where you live.

For Luane and my (second) wedding at the end of September, we're asking people to give gifts not to us, but to the campaign. We do this not just for ourselves, but for the rest of the country. We see people coming from all over the country to marry here in California, regardless of their state recognizing the marriage or not. It's important to the couple, to make that public step, no different than what it means to a straight couple in making the commitment.

Thanks for your support, we're continuing to do what we can to help people realize that along the same lines of freedom of religion, freedom of race, there's freedom of orientation. It's a basic freedom.

I've been told by countless moms who at first had the "ick" factor in their heads. Then they recognized how they've been teaching their children to appreciate the differently skinned kid in their class, the different religion practiced by their family friends, the different body sizes kids come in...and yet to be inconsistent in appreciating the diversity of who people love.

So, the "aha" moments are happening...people are getting we're all the same on the inside and just expressing ourselves uniquely on the outside. Part of God's tapestry, that's all it is.

The first federally recognized same-sex marriage will happen on the Coquille reservation

2008-08-20T12:41:00.000-07:00

This is fascinating to me...Native American reservations are "federal" land and a committed lesbian couple will soon be married on their reservation, thus the marriage federally recognized? As horrific as the Native Americans have been treated since, well, forever, by governments, wouldn't it be nice to have this moment in history for them?

I'm also excited about this for two other reasons...I have Muskogee blood in me, from Oklahoma. My ancestry is a part of the Creek tribe and the Turtle clan. We were on the Trail of Tears from the Carolinas and Florida area. We still have heirlooms carried along the Trail within our family. It's a history that is very real to me. When I saw the 30 Days episode this summer where Morgan Spurlock lived on a reservation for a month, I was so moved...it took me back to my childhood and what family was like on the Native American side.

My grandma, at a family reunion, gave us all Native American names. Her name was Owl. She called me Gazelle. Which, at first I was concerned...did she see me as someone who ran away as a defense? I'm clearly not doing that lately if so....then, I learned it was due to my very long legs and my athleticism. So I keep exercise up in my life, gotta keep that girlish Gazelle figure.

The other relevance is I grew up in Oregon. Most of my life has been in California, however I still consider my roots as an Oregonian. For those Oregonians out there, your first question is if my family is Duck or Beaver, and we're Duck even though I never attended Univ. of Oregon.

For this monumental event in LGBT history to collide with my ancestral makeup, makes me feel even more proud. The Natives are first in something again. And good for Oregon to be the state to have it happen.

The Art of Words - No on 8 Description Upheld

2008-08-08T13:15:00.000-07:00

In California, same gender committed couples are getting legally married. We hear of hundreds of couples coming from out of state, as far as from Tennessee and beyond to have the dignifying experience of respect for their relationship even if their own state won't recognize its legitimacy. It's an amazing time and I'm proud to be in the front row watching the authentic happiness and tears of joy on these couples' and families' faces.

Recently, the Secretary of State released the description for the ballot measure that's made its way to the CA November ballot which would actually amend the state constitution to disallow gays and lesbians to marry legally. This is the wording:

Proposition 8
ELIMINATES RIGHT OF SAME-SEX COUPLES TO MARRY.
INITIATIVE CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT

Changes California Constitution to eliminate right of same-sex couples to marry. Provides that only a marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.

Fiscal Impact: Over the next few years, potential revenue loss, mainly sales taxes, totaling in the several tens of millions of dollars, to state and local governments. In the long run, likely little fiscal impact to state and local governments.

The folks being paid from mostly out of state organizations who got the signatures for the measure freaked and sued (again) to get the wording softened. They wanted it to be more like defining marriage as one man and one woman. This is the art of words...making something distasteful taste good.

The announcement was made this morning on the suit:

According to Mike Swift at the Mercury News:
" A Superior Court judge this morning rejected a suit filed by Prop. 8 proponents against the ballot title proposed by Attorney General Jerry Brown. Judge Timothy M. Frawley said Brown's language was neither false nor misleading, handing a victory to gay rights supporters who want a clear statement of what a constitutional ban would mean for gay couples who have married in California this year."

So, it's inevitable for the people of California, who don't want to really treat people differently, who are raising their families to accept those of different faiths, cultures, backgrounds and color of skin will simply add orientation to the list of basic fairness.

Luane and I are making our wedding plans...we're getting married (again) in September. I'll marry her as many times as it takes to stick. I hope you'll join the millions of others across the country to get educated on this proposition.

Have you seen Swing Vote yet? It's about knowing what you stand for and putting that education into play at the polls. You can help others get educated as well. You're invited to support the No on 8 Equality for All folks at: http://noonprop8.com

Shooting in Knoxville, TN

2008-08-04T16:37:00.000-07:00

By now, you may have heard of the sad and traumatic shooting that happened during a Sunday service at a church in Knoxville, TN which resulted in 2 deaths and 4 people in critical care. The church was Unitarian Universalist and targeted by the gunman because he believed he could find "liberals and gays" there to blame for his current state of life's misfortune.

Yes, the church was well known in the area as being open and affirming, which means it is public in its welcome for any who want to come with deliberate outreach to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender folks. It's well documented that churches who become open and affirming, actually grow in general, as many straight folks return to attend a church who genuinely welcomes everybody.

Learn more about the shooting: http://www.knoxnews.com/news/news/local/church-shooting/

For the Knoxville tragedy, my and Luane's heart go out to the church attendees, their families and the leadership of the church. It also goes out to the man who felt the best way to handle his anger and frustration with his life was to externalize his pain and force others to feel the wounds he feels. The whole situation is sad...projecting blame on strangers for one's unhappiness...whether through the violent use of a gun or of the tongue. They are linked and do tremendous damage and even death...physically, spiritually and emotionally.

With Our Family Matters coming to Nashville, TN in October, we intend to help the state of Tennessee heal from this tragedy by offering a safe place for people to come and get their questions answered, to provide support for those who seek solace, to provide community for those who otherwise feel isolation.

Come together, help Tennessee heal and join us, no matter where you live. For more information and registration: http://www.ourfamilymatters.org

Ellen DeGeneres Gets Engaged...and So Do We.

2008-05-19T16:46:00.000-07:00

There's been nationwide hoopla over the California Supreme Court favoring the decision to not allow discrimination of sexual orientation to be used in legal marriages. In my world, everyone is talking about it. The celebration, the tears of joy, more heads held up high, more kids finally feeling their same-sex parents are getting the credit for their relationship they so very much deserve. It's been incredible.

I was told of a minister I know who at an early age really believed that with this culture, there'd never be an African-American president nor marriage equality in her lifetime. So you can imagine what this year has been like for her...

I truly believe in people, it's my inner Anne Frank. I do have faith that people do want to do the right things, be loving and understanding as they seek that for themselves as well. I'm proud of California.

Many people have asked if Luane and I are going to get (officially) married now that we actually can legally. So, just to let you know, yes, of course we are. We already are married anyway, all the hard work of the relationship, the huge commitment ceremony we had in 2004...all that's done. Getting a marriage license is the easy part. We'll probably do it in a private setting since that's Luane's preference (mine was the big party...we complement each other well).

The trippy part of all this is marriages will begin to be legal on June 16th which is one day after Luane's birthday and the anniversary of my middle sister's death. That date means a lot to me and now it means even more.

The Human Rights Campaign is circulating a petition for Million for Marriage. If you'd like to sign it and be a part of the growing number of people coming out of the woodwork to support those of us in long-term, committed relationships towards marriage, please go to:
http://www.hrcactioncenter.org/campaign/millionformarriageac. There will be a reserved place for you at the banquet table in heaven. Thank you for standing for equality of all people, just as Jesus did.

Some of you may have heard or seen Ellen DeGeneres make the big announcement on her show last Friday. My favorite part of this is the audience reaction which causes Ellen to get choked up and Portia dizzy with laughter. It's a beautiful scene...enjoy.

So, honey, how does it feel to be equal?

2008-05-15T15:58:00.000-07:00

Today the California Supreme Court voted in favor of allowing gay and lesbian people to marry; the mostly Republican court voted for marriage equality. Even the Governor is supportive of the ruling and says he will not support a state constitutional amendment if it comes to that in November.

I've lived to see it and feel it.

When my email was barraged by well wishers, congratulations, news bulletins and impromptu party invites to celebrate tonight when the announcement was made, I just smiled and said thank you. I then turned to Luane and said, "so honey, how does it feel to be equal?" It was actually kind of a joke because we've always felt equal. No one can "make" us feel unequal anyway. It's just an awesome feeling that others are finally getting it too.

What's so wonderful about this announcement is that our government, at least in California, is finally catching up. It's finally recognizing people as people. It's finally opening its heart and teaching those who have yet to catch up to what equality looks like legally and how the world will in fact not come to an end.

There will be no world destruction, nothing negative will happen except hopefully it'll encourage people who've been internally homophobic towards themselves or lying to themselves and those around them to be open, honest and authentic. And still, I feel that's hugely positive, even if painful in the short term. I've been through it, I know the peace that comes with reconciliation of sexuality and spirituality.

The courts setting this example can only protect kids like Lawrence King, can only increase the number of marriages between people who do actually love each other - thereby reducing the number of marriages between people where one or both are doing it out of duty and self-oppression, denying their same sex attraction and then dragging their partner and eventual kids into their baggage. As Jason Stuart says at the end of our movie, "C'mon straight people, if you let us marry each other, we'll stop marrying you."

Over the years I've been quasi keeping score of who will be last institutionally to be open and affirming and it's been neck and neck with churches and governments. With the United Methodists at the end of April still not living up to their own slogan as a denomination, "Open Hearts, Open Minds" and the California Supreme Court filled mostly of Republicans decision, gotta give major points to government in this round. Churches are falling behind, but they always have a chance to gain footage again, especially with two Democratic candidates both deflecting and saying "it's up to the states" and a Republican candidate just flat out against marriage equality.

Even with the UMC ruling, there are many many UMC churches making their own statements to their local community. In Hoquaim, WA last Saturday night, Darlene Bogle, Roby Sapp and Dotti Berry showed our movie and led a fantastic discussion afterwards to a filled room. The host of the screening was the local UMC. People, when given the chance, will authentically open their hearts and open their minds.

In the words of Rev. Deborah Johnson, "you can't stop an idea, who's time has come."

Thank you, California. Maybe I'll not have to lie on my tax forms anymore and check the box saying Single...thank you for the opportunity to be more of myself.

More info: Yahoo News

May Day: Today's National Day of Prayer

2008-05-01T15:07:00.000-07:00

It's May Day, for several reasons.

1) It's May 1st, so...it's also the first Thursday of the month which means we have our free, live teleconference call tonight with all of you who have signed up on our email list.
2) It's National Day of Prayer and
3) The United Methodist General Conference just voted to keep in language excluding GLBT members and leaders as they are deemed "incompatible with Christian teachings"...at least for another four years until they vote again. They'll one day be embarrassed by that decision like churches have been in using the Bible to support slavery and other oppressions through history. There where a host of contradictory votes, see this press release for more info.

Like you, I get sent all kinds of e-newsletters, email blasts, article links and I'm grateful people help us keep in the loop on the temperature of our United States...I'm very grateful actually. I then get to experience what's most important to people.

As much as the articles, links to videos, etc we receive to be a bummer to read like #3 above, it's no longer in my nature to really give it a lot of attention and energy. I do occasionally find myself impatient however.

I know in my soul the UMC Conference and others who are like-minded are on a losing side. It's just a matter of time. There's no winning here in excluding people. It never works. No discrimination, no exclusion, no us vs. them, no paradigm of "you must change or go away so I'm comfortable" has ever lasted, it's always been defeated once people start choosing love rather than fear. And this will too. This is what I pray for on this National Day of Prayer. For all of us to be enlightened and empowered to become more of who we are and meant to be on how God made us to be.

And for patience.

With California and other states possibly again having to deal with annoying ballot measures on banning gay marriage - an argument and use of tax dollars that even Republican Governor Schwarzenegger calls "a waste of time", the race is neck and neck of which behemoth will come in last: the government or the church in the obvious "letting its citizens be themselves without the intervention of a mis-interpreted Bible". Separation of church and state, right?

So, all this to say I invite you to join us on our call tonight with Ann Craig from GLAAD as we talk about the media representation of the gay community and how it affects public opinion. I spent 8 years as a media management, theorist and production instructor at a college in California so I'm extra thrilled to have this conversation.

Remember, it's the first Thursday of the month so that means it's God, Gays & You Live Interview Series time. Hope you can join us and if not live, then check out the recording tomorrow at: www.godandgaysthemovie.com/archive.

Rep. Sally Kern Meets with PFLAG in Oklahoma

2008-04-09T13:22:00.000-07:00

Thank you to each of you who were on our live call last Thursday night for our most recent God, Gays & You Live Interview Series call. Our guests included Dotti Berry and Roby Sapp from StandUpSpeakOut.com who are the authors of the upcoming book, When Homophobia Hits Home…A Compassionate Couple’s Journey to Transcending Backyard Bigotry.

We also had the great fortune to speak with Steve Davis, an Oklahoman who's been active in the different actions at the state capitol and a local United Methodist congregant.

We talked about the recent results of people's thoughts and words with the teen murders of Lawrence in California and Simmie of Florida. Then we traced back and discussed the comments leaked on YouTube from Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kern (see blog postings below for info).

We wrapped the call with Mary Lou Wallner and Dotti attending the upcoming Soulforce action in Ft. Worth, TX at the general conference of United Methodists.

It was a fascinating discussion for all involved. We offered ways we can help, no matter where we are now, to prevent further thoughts, beliefs, and words leading to devastating actions. We had several spiritually-minded responses and gave perspective to how it feels to being on the receiving end of such talk around gay people being "the greatest threat" and a "death knell" to this country. Makes ya feel warm and fuzzy inside, huh.

In addition to a pro-Sally and anti-Sally remarks rally in Oklahoma City recently, Kern met with local PFLAG members including credible local ministers. They came out of the meeting pleased with how the meeting went, feeling hopeful and saying Kern didn't believe people ought to be fired for being gay, something that is allowed by law in Oklahoma and many other states like Ohio to this day.

Then, there was an article in The Oklahoman saying Kern's words were spun by PFLAG. I don't know why she'd take offense to something so humane for a public official to say as protecting people at work, but she did...at least according to the media.

We all know the media is known to make mistakes, God knows how many typos, misquotes and really weird "facts" have been added to interviews done with Luane and I around the movie. We just chuckle at some of the creativity some journalists have when reporting a story based on a live interview.

Whether or not the media was 100% accurate on Kern's thoughts on meeting with PFLAG, there's now a recording available of the meeting available for you to listen for yourself. It's 40 minutes long, enjoy.

In Honor of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr - (Jan 15, 1929 - April 4, 1968)

2008-04-04T10:21:00.000-07:00

This year feels different as MLK's birthday and death anniversary rolls around. At Rev. Deborah Johnson's Inner Light Ministries in CA, Luane and I had the honor to work with Dr. Vincent Harding at her conference titled Time To Break the Silence....Again. Dr. Harding was the speech writer for King's "Vietnam Speech" and recently released a book called, Martin Luther King: The Inconvenient Hero. I got to meet and talk with Dr. Harding, who is one of the best listeners I've come across.

There's such a strong peace and groundedness about him. When you introduce yourself to him, he wants to know your full name, your mama mama's name and where you came from. He looks you in the eyes, listens and asks questions. He made me still and present. What an excellent teacher...he taught without teaching, he was just being.

As if that wasn't enough, he requested a copy of the movie and is very supportive. He signed my copy of his book, "For my sister, Kim Clark, With appreciation for your work in the spirit of King. Go Right On."

Then, I asked to give him a hug. He said, "You must!" When I hugged Dr. Vincent Harding, he not only wrapped his arms around me tightly as if saying a prayer for me and giving me strength, I realized I was in the same supportive arms as Martin Luther King once was. I was with a man who was right there in the middle of it all in the Civil Rights Movement. As he held me tight, I felt the transfer of memories, of pain, of peace, of patience from his experience. I flashed the emotional roller coaster ride he has lived...and survives as a clear man of spirit and peace.

It reminds me of a daily affirmation email I got this morning:

What if the one person who you believed liked you the least, Kim, loved you the most?

Yeah, "Hate when that happens...."

It sometimes happens like that, Kim.

On this day, I ask us to reflect on where we've been and where we're going. What kind of consciousness are you spreading each time you get in your car, around your kids, in the grocery story line, how you speak to your partner and alone and quiet in your head.

To piggy back on an earlier blog in taking care of each other, I ask today that you take care of yourself. You are always the beginning.

The Latest on Sally Kern Backlash

2008-03-20T15:20:00.000-07:00

Check out the last paragraph and see what you think...it's worth the time to really look at and see where you land on feeling the level of reaction...and why. There's so much I could say on this, and it's really important to me that you drive the bus on what you believe...and again...why.

Anti-gay Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kern retains legal counsel

by Nick Langewis
http://pageoneq.com/news/2008/Antigay_Oklahoma_Rep._Sally_Kern_la_0320.html

In an escalating public battle over anti-gay comments made at a secretly taped speech, the conservative Thomas More Law Center of Ann Arbor, Michigan announced on Wednesday that it has agreed to represent Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kern in any legal cases arising from the controversy.

"Representative Kern expressed her concern that the homosexual agenda was destroying our nation, and that young school children were being indoctrinated into believing that the homosexual 'life style' is normal," said a Thomas More Law Center news release on Wednesday. "Her comments caused some of the nation’s largest homosexual groups to target her for political annihilation."

"Representative Kern will not back down, regardless of the attempted hate-mongering intimidation by these national homosexual advocacy groups," added the firm's President and Chief Counsel Richard Thompson of the "courageous Christian woman." "Their actions are right out of a play-book developed by radical homosexual activists in the 1980s to manipulate and intimidate the majority of Americans into accepting the normalcy of the homosexual life style. (sic)"

An IRS-designated 501(c)(3) organization, Thomas More runs on individual, corporate and foundation donations and does not charge for its services. Its aim is to "[defend and promote] the religious freedom of Christians, time-honored family values, and the sanctity of human life through education, litigation, and related activities."

On Tuesday, about 300 people rallied outside Oklahoma's state capitol to protest Kern's statements and demand an apology. The crowd included LGBT advocates seeking to meet with the lawmaker, who was personally invited to the rally by Oklahoma City resident and retired United Methodist minister Rev. Jim Shields, joined by Rev. Loyce Newton-Edwards of the United Church of Christ, also president of Oklahoma City's PFLAG chapter.

"I'd have no problem meeting with ['two or three' representatives of the gay community] next week when I have my lawyer," Kern told Tulsa World on Tuesday.

Kern's comparisons of gays to cancer, charges of "indoctrination" and opining that gays posed a worse threat to the United States than international terrorism have garnered both praise and ire in the public square after the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund's "We're Listening" campaign brought it to light.

Portions of the speech follow below:

Kern has defended her free speech rights and refused to apologize, saying that she was not engaging in "hate speech." Rather, she says, she was holding true to values that helped her be elected to public office.

"Most Oklahomans are socially conservative and believe marriage is a sacred institution, the union of one man and one woman, and that the traditional family is worth protecting and preserving," said Kern in her March 10th public statement. "When I campaigned for office, I promised my constituents to stand up for those values, and I do not apologize for keeping my word."

"In recent days," said Victory Fund President and CEO Chuck Wolfe on Tuesday, "Rep. Kern and her supporters have defended her freedom of speech, as though that's what millions of people, gay and straight alike, are objecting to. We are not. Rep. Kern has every right to her opinion and to express it.

"But she is also a public servant and an elected community leader whose public speeches have an impact beyond her own small sphere. If she had offered similar hateful views about African Americans, Native Americans or Jewish people, the calls for her resignation would have been swift and deafening, and from both sides of aisle in the State House. We wouldn't even be debating her speech. We'd be saying goodbye."

Originally published on Thursday March 20, 2008.

Intersections for A Girl Like Me

2008-03-19T06:13:00.000-07:00

I just returned from Purdue University in Indiana where we made history together on Tuesday night. As part of their student diversity conference called Intersections, they broke ground and opened the dialogue on faith and sexuality reconciliation for the first time in the University's history...which dates back to the late 1800s.

There's an air of the topic being taboo if you support and accept homosexuality on campus. If someone is struggling, there's a small support group that one hears of through the grapevine on campus held in the counseling center. There's a queer student alliance which meets for mostly social reasons with apparently one member interested in advocacy. Can't blame them...even though the school is second in the nation for sheer numbers of international students, acceptance of diversity is still a challenge in the traditionally white, conservative, agricultural, Christian student body, especially when it comes to gay, lesbian and transgender students. The board of trustees doesn't support or fund a resource center where students struggling with homosexuality can safely come to for help. It's loose knit, faculty isn't involved, there's a huge hole and need for student support.

Although around the campus there's a belief that being gay isn't okay, and in our screening event, it was just the opposite. There were honest questions, honest struggles, celebrations, affirmations, support, love and call to action for people to not just watch and nod their heads...there's a real need to not only DO something, there's also the real need to BE something. Be who you are and not assume everyone is against something. We have to live FOR something, nothing survives for long when it's only against something. It's not sustainable.

I was proud, impressed and also heart broken during my visit. I heard stories of family members being rejected, the pain reverberated the room. I heard of kids staying in the closet and scared, of hating feeling they have to lie about who they are. I also met straight ally Christian men stepping up, standing with and supporting gay students. They are the heroes who are creating the climate change. It reminds me of Caucasian men and women marching with African Americans in the 1960s. It's exactly what is needed, and once again, just like the '60s, the youth are teaching the rest of us what kind of world is possible when unified.

One question I was asked was which faiths are most accepting of homosexuality. I mentioned Buddhism and then specifically mentioned Christianity at its purest form as lived out by Jesus in the New Testament (even though Jesus wasn't a Christian obviously). When Christianity is lived by the Christ Consciousness demonstrated by Jesus, seeing him role-model unconditional love and recognize every human being as a child of God, then I can say that it's a faith that is accepting. I mentioned the faith, not the followers...the followers have free will to misinterpret, play God and judge what they don't understand and miss the point to Christ's lessons. This happens often, however it's not every Christian.

I see authentic processing going with many Christians, young and older. I get emails seeking support, asking real questions, wanting to truly live with God's heart. It's tough to reconcile at first, I know, I was there. I just don't want people to do it alone. I really believe people want to do the right thing, there's a spirit of Anne Frank in me believing all people are good. I believe it's our natural state, and along the way of life, it got muddled, sometimes really really muddled. The movie and our screening events and conversations are an invitation to return to the natural state. To return to the basics. To return to love.

It's been suggested to have a message board on our website for viewers of the film to talk about how it touched them...and in some cases, saved them or a family member. I'll look into it. Until then, you have the comments option on any of our posts, you can also email our office at info@godandgaysthemovie.com to share your story.

One of the other events they held as part of the conference showed this award-winning short done by a high school student called A Girl Like Me. I highly encourage you to watch it and do something...or rather...be something after seeing it. As a media lecturer for 8 years before doing my own media projects, I find it powerful and am glad to share it with you. It's a reminder that we're all in this together...the solution is in the quality communication we share with each other.

Ellen DeGeneres Calls Rep. Sally Kern

2008-03-18T18:06:00.000-07:00

Ellen DeGeneres Reports on Teen Killed for Being Gay

2008-03-11T15:14:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to thank those of you who watch Ellen, the talk show hosted by Ellen DeGeneres. Because of the success of the show, she's able to help get the very serious word out about something as tragic as this:

What I hoped this clip would show is what happened before they went to commercial. The cameras started swinging and panning across the audience as they not only clapped in support for what Ellen says, they also stand.

This is huge....this is the kind of support we see at our movie events over and over again, and some people don't believe us because they don't see it in the media. There is SO much support for equality, acceptance and inclusion for the gay community across the country, but the mainstream doesn't see it.

There is more support than not and it takes moments like these where power is used for good, for social change, for human enlightenment, for the benefit of society as what Ellen did that'll bring more of that already present support more into the light. Thank you to that audience for standing up and applauding.

You don't know what that means to us.

We hope you'll find small ways every day to show that same kind of effort...helping people stop saying "that's so gay", not fuel jokes made about gay people. Let the ripple of ignorance and fear stop with you.

Links:
http://www.rememberlarry.com/
http://rememberinglawrence.org/

What is "Backyard Bigotry"? Ask Oklahoma Representative Sally Kern

2008-03-10T15:47:00.000-07:00

A couple of friends of mine, Dotti and Roby are writing a book called When Homophobia Hits Home...A Compassionate Couple's Journey to Transcend Backyard Bigotry (out in 2009). They bring up a great question we all ought to take a more deliberate look at...how are we actually still a part of the problem of inequality and not the solution when it comes to demonstrating through our behavior, words, money and votes?

One of the big obstacles could be our socializing during childhood...we weren't encouraged to talk about things, and when we did, we could be met with conflict and opposition from the very ones we loved the most. To cope with not losing those we love, we either say what we think we're supposed to or not say anything at all.

This seemingly small decision has such a huge ripple effect when it becomes the norm. We've adopted this way of handling (by not handling) our differences. As if individuality in God's creation is somehow threatening if we can't put it in a box.

One of HRC's mottos is Talk About It and for some reason it's the hardest thing to get people to do. There's such a fear of acceptance and no longer "belonging" that many choose to not, as Dotti says, "stand up and speak out." It's so harmful not only to those who need the support, but to those who don't speak. It's all stuck energy which gets released in really unhealthy ways....like what Oklahoma Representative Sally Kern showed us recently.

Her husband is a pastor. She continues to be elected. She thinks she's only talking to people in the room and would only say what she said if she believed the people would agree. No one in the room stops her. She's allowed to say what she says and it's not challenged.

I have my ancestor roots in Oklahoma. My Native American grandmother was forced to go to to an "Indian" school and to convert to Christianity. She spent most of her life very quiet. A well-read, profound woman of wisdom...with very few words. She was ashamed of being Native American and couldn't understand why my generation was so proud. Within one and two generations, we took back our pride as a people and make no apologies for who we are.

The same has happened in so many other communities, including the gay community. And why women can now vote, why interracial marriages are legal and so many other "advances" in social equality is because people started talking about it. Talking from a place of health, love and curiosity versus fear is next on the list.

People are angry with Sally Kern, the blogs and media postings say so, the fact that the link has gone all over the country and world, the overwhelming email her office has received....I actually thank her. She did us a favor in allowing the backyard bigotry to be a topic of conversation, she brought it out into the light so we can really dialog and learn from each other. Many of us in this work knows this goes on all the time, but the majority of America doesn't.

This reminds me of a friend who said to me, "you mean, people still care that you're gay? I thought that was finally over forever ago." Nope. Sally reminded us there's still a few out there who don't get it. So, let's support her in her journey of expanding her expression of love, in forgiving herself for becoming someone she doesn't want to be. Be the change we want to see and treat her with the respect and love we'd like to see from her. Let her know, and the others like her, what unconditional love feels like. If not us, then who?

Once you see the video above, Email her if you'd like at: sallykern@okhouse.gov

I Met a Woman Who Should be Dead by Now

2008-03-07T17:39:00.000-08:00

Luane and I were invited to a gathering at Darlene Bogle's request to meet a fascinating woman named Naomi Harvey. Darlene's latest book is Naomi's life story and boy...is it amazing.

Before I move on telling of the evening, here's the description of the book, A Miracle Woman: The Naomi Harvey Story:

An exciting story of a woman who at the age of 16, devoted her life and musical talents to Christian ministries and orphan children. Who by every reasonable account should have been derailed and cursed her God when she was attacked by drug lords which left her body broken; her home burned to the ground and 2 of her 10 adopted children murdered. She was then sentenced to 17 years to life in prison for second degree murder. She was ostracized by church and family when she acknowledged her true sexual orientation. How she held on to her faith and God's love is part of the miracle you will find in these pages. Learn what has kept her faith alive and is the driving force today as she travels across country with her partner, ministering to the whole person and "Sharing Father's Heart."

When I first walked in and shook hands with Naomi, knowing some of her past, I just shook my head and said, "I can't believe you're alive and not screwed up." She laughed contagiously and so the evening had begun. Story after story she shared while we ate and laughed and awed.

Later, she broke out her pink guitar...I'd never seen a pink guitar like that in person before...and sung us a song. You can hear it on her site.

There's nothing like an in-person, private concert. Her partner did a flag routine to the song and with each of them sharing their gifts for us after being on the road touring for 7 weeks...I don't know where they got the energy.

We did a blessing dedication on the book, ate more and had a teary goodbye. To meet Naomi in person is truly remarkable. Hearing what she's been through and see with my own eyes how the only wrinkles on her face were from smiling so much...impacted me deeply. It was an honor to meet her, and I told her that. I thanked her for being such a pioneer in paving the way for our movie and for us being out more freely than she was able to be at our age.

This is truly a remarkable story and woman and I hope you'll look at her book as an inspiration and rededication that God's got your back or as Rev. Deborah says, God is good...all of the time.

Gay Teen in Ft. Lauderdale Killed Too...

2008-02-26T16:53:00.000-08:00

February is a month of love, right? Valentine's Day, my birthday (in 2 days, yay!) and President's Day where retailers show their love by having big sales over a weekend.

Alas, not much love has been shown to the gay community this month.

On Feb 23rd, a gay teen was shot and killed 4 miles from his home in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. Read about the story here.

This, on the heels of Lawrence King in California, a blue state. On the other coast, some Floridians continue jumping on the fear band wagon of pushing a ballot measure (again) banning gay marriage, the death of Simmie Williams Jr, 17 is certainly worth real thought and our time.

Seriously, how different are these murders of these teens from the KKK killings of African Americans? People who are so angry, feel so much hate, they feel need and the right to take a life just because they are uncomfortable with how someone else is.

It's absurd.

Guns aren't the only methods of killing someone either. Words and emotions are also serious weapons, used to kill spirits and dreams. At our screening events, I often talk of the two types of suicides: the physical form which we're all unfortunately aware of, then there's the emotional or spiritual suicide. This is where people are so hurt by words and rejection, they let other people's opinion of them supersede their opinion of themselves and numb out, eventually walking around like zombies just existing through life.

Please please please be careful of what is said in your presence: Thoughts lead to words, words lead to actions, actions lead to results. Anything that happens, starts with a simple thought.

Let's take care of each other.

Call for Ex Ex Gay Artists - Express Yourself & Make a Difference

2008-02-13T14:22:00.000-08:00

My dear colleagues, Peterson Toscano and Christine Bakke from BeyondExGay.com are seeking to show two more new artists for their upcoming art show in Memphis, TN at the end of this month.

Peterson and Christine are both phenomenally talented in their respective mediums and are passionate about creating space for other ex-ex gays to show their art as it relates to their eminate traumatic experience while in ex gay ministries and programs. They seek new artists who are ex-gay survivors or those whose lives have been *negatively* affected by the ex-gay movement (parents, friends, of those emotionally and spiritually damaged by ex gay programs.)

The deadline is quickly approaching, go to: beyondexgay.com for more information.

Submissions of all types of visual art are welcome including drawings, painting, collage, mixed media, photography, or multimedia. Please send photos of your work, along with dimensions, a brief statement about the work, and any other information by February 15th, 2008 to bxg (at) beyondexgay.com

Free Interview with God & Gays Director Feb. 7th

2008-01-29T17:43:00.000-08:00

Our next guest for the God, Gays & You Live Interview series is Luane Beck, director of the film, God & Gays: Bridging the Gap (www.godandgaysthemovie.com). Listen to how the film was made, how she found the people in the movie who were so vulnerable and honest in telling their stories of struggle and reconciliation. Ask questions live on the call. To sign up for phone access and the special code, go to the website and get the e-blast. This is a free teleconference, from the comfort of your own home...every first Thursday of each month.

ENDA Passed Today in US House of Reps

2007-11-07T16:29:00.000-08:00

Hopefully many of you were on the call with Harry Knox and myself last Thursday for this month's God, Gays & You Live Interview Series call. Harry is the Religion & Faith Director for HRC (Human Rights Campaign) and today they released a major bulletin I pasted below.

It was an amazing call and I've gotten several emails thanking us for having him as a guest. Be sure to join us next month to be with Valerie Joi Fiddmont...musician, gospel choir director, partner to Rev. Deborah Johnson and the woman who delivers the "a-ha" comment in our movie. Be sure you're on our email list (sign up to the right) to get the call details. As sometimes we've had recording challenges, it's best to be on the call to make sure you don't miss it!

Here's the HRC bulletin on ENDA...feel free to comment on the decision to move forward lobbying without protecting transgender people in ENDA.

The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA).

We are one step closer to our ultimate goal of ensuring that all GLBT Americans no longer live in fear of losing their jobs.

The progress we've made today is historic - it is the first time either house of Congress has passed employment protections of this kind. It took over 30 years of lobbying and grassroots political work to get to this point, and while the bill that finally passed was not the fully inclusive version we sought, this represents a major advance - and the best way to move towards our long-term goal of protecting our entire community.

HRC first helped introduce ENDA 13 years ago, to prevent workplace discrimination based on sexual orientation. This year, gender identity was added to the bill. Unfortunately, gender identity was not covered in the version that passed today, but this vote was a first and absolutely necessary step towards equality for GLBT people in the workplace.

That's why HRC joined with a coalition of major civil rights groups who declared support for the bill before the final vote, including the Leadership Conference on Civil Rights (LCCR includes more than 192 national civil rights organizations), National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees (AFSCME), the National Employment Lawyers Association (NELA), and the National Education Association (NEA).

Supporting this version of the bill was a difficult and painful decision. But, without a doubt, the only path to achieving a bill protecting our whole community was by achieving the successful House vote today. A defeat of ENDA would have set back the possibility of an inclusive bill for many, many years.

HRC remains 100% committed to doing the hard work necessary to pass legislation that protects our entire community, including transgender workers who remain especially vulnerable to workplace discrimination.

Talk with Harry Knox from HRC this Thursday

2007-10-29T14:36:00.000-07:00

As the last week of October descends upon us, we'll enjoy "All Saints Day" this year with having Harry Knox from Human Rights Campaign (HRC) as our next guest for our God, Gays and You Live Interview Series. We'll talk with him on his experiences around the country in working queitly with hundreds of church leaders in helping them learn more about becoming open and affirming. He'll also share news from HRC's work and give us a snapshot of how culturally we're doing with moving from rejection and tolerance to acceptance of GLBT people as whole human beings. Harry is a major leader in the reconciliation movement and you're invited to submit your questions to him on how you can work with your church to become more openly accepting and loving of ALL God's creations.

We've pasted his bio below for you to get to know him and prep your questions for the call. If you're new to this series and want to be on the call, sign up in the email box to the right so you can get the phone number and access code each month. Tell your friends and family!

If you have a question for Harry, email it to us at: info@godandgaysthemovie.com

I'll talk with you on Thursday, Nov 1st 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern!

Harry Knox joined the staff of the Human Rights Campaign in July 2005. Under his leadership the HRC Religion and Faith Program has seen the creation of a national speakers’ bureau that reaches more than 10 million Americans monthly and a weekly preaching resource that provides scriptural commentary to ministers and lay people interested in an ecumenical gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender perspective on the Bible. He has also been instrumental in creating a national network for 22 progressive state clergy coalitions around the country. Knox has been featured on programs as diverse as "The Michael Medved Show," the BBC News, PBS, NBC, CBS and national and local newspapers and has co-authored an article on GLBT issues and world religions for Conscience magazine.

Knox’s prior management and advocacy experience includes having held the positions of business manager for patient services and comprehensive school health programs for the American Cancer Society, Georgia Division; director of development at Equality Florida; executive director of Georgia Equality; and program director for Freedom to Marry. He is also a former licensed pastor of a United Methodist Church in Georgia.

Under Knox’s leadership, Georgia Equality was successful in passing the state’s first GLBT-inclusive legislation, the Georgia Anti-Domestic Terrorism Act, and in obtaining domestic partnership benefits for employees at Coca-Cola, BellSouth, Delta Airlines, Atlanta Gas Light and Cingular Wireless. He was the recipient of the 2000 Cordle Award for Promotion of God’s Diversity and Lancaster Theological Seminary’s 2005 Robert V. Moss Medal for Excellence in Ministry. Previously denied ordination because he is gay, Knox is currently seeking ordination in the United Church of Christ.

Gay Around the World on Oprah Today

2007-10-24T10:15:00.000-07:00

Today on Oprah, she's doing a show on what it's like to be gay around the world. She goes to Iran and India and around here in the US. People have asked us if we've tried to get on Oprah to tell the reconciliation story. Of course! We continue to. She has done a number of shows on different angles of the gay "issue" and hasn't yet walked in to the conversation around religion and sexuality with the message of reconciliation.

We have the talented speakers from the movie who are perfect guests, we have the movie releasing early next year to make it accessible to the world, we're ready when the producers are.

Until then, we're thrilled she continues to bring this topic and the effects on human being's lives by generations of not talking about it.

We intend on being a part of the dialogue she creates by doing shows like the one she's doing today. I encourage you to TiVO it, tell friends to watch it, share it with family who struggle to understand.

NashVegas Opens its Doors to God & Gays

2007-10-23T10:24:00.000-07:00

Darlene and I just returned from Nashville, TN where we spent the weekend (well, Darlene spent some of the weekend in Chicago's airport stuck from weather issues). We showed the movie on Friday night and hosted our workshops on Saturday. It's our mini-Gathering event we're doing around the country. If your church or school is interested, shoot us an email and let's work it out: info@godandgaysthemovie.com.

The Friday night screening was a huge success. We stuffed the Holy Trinity Community Church (UCC) sanctuary, some people showing up an hour before to make sure they got a seat....which was very smart as we had people stuffed in the aisleways eventually. Darlene was stuck in Chicago during the Q&A which broke her heart, so I recruited the church's pastor Rev. Cyndi to join me as we were greeted with a huge standing ovation by the audience while the movie credits rolled.

I got quite emotional by the overwhelming response. Yes, we've had the blessing of standing ovations a number of times before, this time it was in the south. That felt amazing.

I've believed in Nashville in being an excellent host for our Gathering and the rest of the weekend was planning meetings around doing it again next year. I met strong and committed leaders of the community dedicated to adding reconciliation to the short list of options for Christian families in their area.

The workshops were phenomenal. The response from the participants was staggering at how much they gained from our few hours together. I could literally see change happening right before my eyes. They felt incredibly affirmed, encouraged and empowered to step up in their lives and know what to do next to live daily in the life they want to live in. I am so proud of each and every person who was there. It's not easy to face some things we've resisted and pushed down but when we start to, we see there's nothing to be afraid of and we have authentic support along the way.

I met some really strong, courageous and amazing people all weekend. I got to crash a bowling birthday party in Smyrna and earned one of my highest scores ever while being called 'hon' from the bowling alley food personnel (I eat that up!). I was taken to dinner along the emerging 'gay strip' of Nashville which is funny enough, located on Church St. Smoking is no longer allowed in restaurants and I'm SO EXCITED about that! It's the one thing I don't enjoy about traveling is trying to eat my gardenburger while gagging on smoke. The flavor just goes away. I got my hair 'did' for the screening by a gracious hairdresser from the church who wants to go to divinity school. He even filled my quota of having locally made chocolate chip cookies on every trip by sharing some home made.

I enjoyed a Sunday apres-church lunch at PF Chang's with someone who ministered with my sister in college when she was still struggling with her sexuality and spirituality. She told me knowing my sister then and the world they were a part of and recently being back in touch with my sister and having my sister be cool with her being out meant everything to her. She comes from parents who see her as an Exodus speaker one day so that's not fun for anyone.

I cannot stress enough the power and importance of straight people being out and supportive in everyday conversation...we need more shining examples of acceptance as you never know who around you you could be helping and even saving.

I also got to watch the movie Soldier's Girl about Calpernia Addams's story . I didn't realize it all went down around Nashville so watching it there and hearing from people who knew Calpernia and the club she worked at when she met Barry...getting the inside perspective of how the death and following memorial really shook the area was really powerful.

The weekend was truly amazing and I cannot wait for next year's Gathering in Nashville. Stay tuned to this blog to learn more about it as we "leak" info on it here and there...found out who will be there and the workshops we'll be offering. We are very serious about having the event perfect for the entire family, so be thinking who you want to bring and practice inviting them.

Oh, and watch Oprah tomorrow for her show on "Gay Around the World".

Mel White's Father Passes on Coming Out Day

2007-10-14T15:19:00.000-07:00

Hi friends. A bitter sweet week....

Thursday Oct 11th was National Coming Out Day where people around the globe have all kinds of activities (showing our movie and holding discussions is among them) and spread awareness around acceptance. One of the goals is to let the millions of people across the country know who are still closeted and struggling that it's okay to be out and be who they are. For many, it's the encouragement they need to step out and be honest and authentic with themselves, keeping the faith they will weather any storm that comes their way.

Also on Thursday, Rev. Dr. Mel White's father, Carl White, died in California at the age of 94. Carl attended the premiere of our movie and even the reception celebration beforehand. He took pictures with our folks in the movie and spent a long time talking with us and the Reitan Family who are also featured in our movie. At the Q&A, we made a special introduction of him and as he stood and waved hi to the sold out and excited crowd, I started to tear up knowing how incredibly special that very moment was to be in my memory. Having Carl, a devout evangelical Christian man, be our guest at our movie which stars his son, Mel White is right up there in my most proud moments. He was incredibly kind and had a wonderfully warm smile. He was happy to be there and proud of his son. Carl's family is accepting contributions to Mel's organization, Soulforce, on Carl's behalf. We encourage you to get involved and help his legacy continue. You can read an article on Carl here.

This week also marked on October 12th the 9 year anniversary of Matthew Shepard's death. There's a lot going on at the Matthew Shepard Foundation and I encourage you to peruse what they're up to. Check out what the Matthew Shepard Act is all about too.

What an emotional week....wow....and it's leading right into our mini-Gathering in Nashville next weekend. Darlene and I hope to see you there Oct 19/20!

Is Kim MIA?

2007-10-09T15:35:00.000-07:00

Hello! I am alive, I promise. There's so much excitement going on behind the scenes here at God & Gays, it's crazy fun.

Some updates just so you know I wasn't away on the beach in Mexico or something...we've actually been working very hard....

- God & Gays has been picked up by Indican Pictures out of Hollywood and is in prep mode for our Los Angeles release in November and then several other markets around the country in Jan/Feb 2008. They are hiring publicists so you get to know where and when you can see the movie in a theatre with other people....a very different and wonderful experience to the DVD. They are prepping the press kits, making plans, working with theatres, asked us for some photos of my and Luane's wedding (which we just celebrated our 3rd year anniversary in September) and who knows what else....

- Darlene Bogle and I are making a special appearance together in Nashville, TN on Oct 19 and 20 for a screening, Q&A and to lead our very cool interactive workshops. Darlene's workshop will be based on her Exodus from Exodus which is a great lead in for mine called "Comfort Zones Are Slow Dream Killers". If you are within driving or short flight of Nashville, I really encourage you to make the trip. It's going to be a mind and heart melding weekend. It's a great warm up for next year's Gathering.

- Luane is writing the script to our next project, we're getting close to start meeting with Hollywood reps and begin the production process all over again. We're two for two...two movies made, two movies distributed which is a frickin' excellent track record in the indy world. This next project will take this consciousness to a whole new level.

- Did you catch our amazing interview with PFLAG's power couple, Sam and Julia Thoron? You can listen to the recording on our archive page: www.godandgaysthemovie.com/archive. Next month, join us for a live chat with Harry Knox, Religion and Faith Director for Human Rights Campaign (HRC).

- Luane and I have been going through adoption prep classes, building a baby room and getting ready to be parents very soon. We decided not to carry our own and help a kid or two who's already here and needs a loving stable home. I'm nervous, but excited. My kid sister's pregnant too so we're sharing "pregnancies" together, I just don't have the daily throwing up and can keep my body shape. Pretty cool deal.

- We're making plans for the 2008 Gathering. Be sure you're on our email blast list to get information as it becomes available.

Well, I guess that's good for now. There's been a lot of amazing things going on with the Matthew Shepard Act and many many churches becoming more open and affirming every week, in every part of the country. It's good to be alive.

Democrats Appear Before Gay Audience

2007-08-13T12:01:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday, each of the main democratic candidates came on one by one for 15 mins each to receive questions from viewers, Melissa Etheridge, Joe Solmonese from Human Rights Campaign and Washington Post writer, Jonathan Capehart. As a side note, the moderator mentioned that all republican candidates were invited to participate and none of them accepted. Even middle of the road and GLAAD news release quoted Rudy Guiliani.

The video is available online so you can still see how things went: http://visiblevote08.logoonline.com/

Out of 15 candidates, 2 support gay marriage and when you hear those 2 talk, you can see a major difference in their overall demeanor than the others. These 2 don't play politics, avoid answering questions and turn the conversation to what they want to be heard (which Obama and Rodham-Clinton were experts in doing)...as much as the others anyway. Anyone, including us, who've had any sort of media coaching are trained to say what we want to be heard, regardless of what questions are being asked.

Before the event, Obama and Rodham-Clinton were on top of the poll on the HRC site, even though neither of them support gay marriage. Since the forum, it's Obama and Kucinich on top and thank God the message got through that the gay community has a real ally. Kucinich DOES support gay marriage AND every other issue that brings equalization to the gay community.

My favorite question was why does the gay population support Hillary and Barack when neither of these candidates support them back on gay marriage. It's a good question. My concern is that it's so because we're used to settling for the crumbs, we're used to compromising something to get anything. With this approach, it's why we're still in this stuck, unequal space in society. We aren't claiming our rights as whole and complete people.

We all teach people how to treat us. If we support people who still see us as less than or unworthy of full human rights support to play a political game, that's what we'll get. It's a no brainer to me.

I once asked my classroom at a University I taught in for 8 years that if Gandhi were running for president, would he have a shot. The class quickly and easily said no. Then I asked if they would want him as president and they all said a resounding yes.

There's such a disconnect of what we want and what we think others want. We have been voting to what we think other people will do so we jump on a bus and "vote for the lesser of two evils". Well, that hasn't worked so great for us lately.

We're supportive of Dennis Kucinich and it's an easy decision to make. Why? He's working with author Marianne Williamson on the US Dept. of Peace for one thing. This is a department that focuses on peaceful resolutions and putting government money and energy to peace, versus what NONE of us want which is more war, violence, death with the current focus and spending on the department of "defense".

Another reason is that he truly "gets" equality and is unafraid of political backlash. Watch his piece on the link above. Look at where he stands, go see him at a town hall. He's the kind of leader who would actually do the right thing for the right reason...because it's the right thing to do. He's love based and not fear based.

He's the closest we have to Gandhi running for the presidency right now and I encourage all of us to vote the way we feel we need to, because it's the right thing to do. We create our realities. We individually control our choices. Don't let the media, the double-speak, the family, spouse or friend influences override what YOU want. Don't jump on the bus this time. Try something different. Take your space, step into your power. Historically, it's those that take unpopular positions that are the most authentic and heart-based.

If you're in the gay community or straight ally supportive of the gay community, there's only two choices for the democratic party and that's Dennis Kucinich and Mike Gravel. They are both supportive of you, of who you are and what you stand for, so please support what supports you.

Presidential Candidate Debate on LGBT Issues August 9th

2007-08-03T11:33:00.000-07:00

Human Rights Campaign (HRC) has organized a democratic presidential debate in Los Angeles Thursday, August 9th to see everyone's perspective on LGBT issues such as marriage, adoption and other political hot topics. For info on how you can watch the forum, go to HRC.org.

Last night Luane and I had dinner with a few very strong supporters of our movie and got to talking about the candidates and where they are in advancing equality for LGBT people politically. It was an interesting conversation as none of us were excited about any of them as each are finding ways to play the fence.

Which is exactly what we don't need from potential leaders of the "free world". I taught a management class for 8 years at a University and as anyone knows about leadership and what has actually been Bush's success has been that he's been a strong leader by being decisive.

Yes, he makes really really bad decisions causing a lot of pain, death, suffering at home and around the world, but he does make them and stands by them. That rallies people, when they can stand by a strong leader. Hence him (sort of) winning again three years ago. People still felt obligated to stand by their leader.

Having the democratic candidates not be decisive, not stand up for doing the right thing like allowing equality across the board for all Americans...tax paying, voting, productive members of the community, teachers, cops, doctors, lawyers, moms and days who also happen to be LGBT, is absurd. It's already guaranteed in the constitution so what's so fuzzy about it? Well, each have their take in claiming they are Christians. Unconditional love is already in the Bible so what's so fuzzy about it?

Here's an excellent opportunity for the candidates to do the right thing, recognize that equality for LGBT people is actually very prevalent and wanted in this country, we've seen it over and over ourselves on our touring and be a strong leader decisively supporting LGBT equality in all its political ways.

So, let's see what happens. The use of fear in the church, religion and the Bible has been very effective the last two races, wonder what would happen if we used the love side of the same things for 2008. Watch the debate and see what you think.

Peggy Campolo live interview TONIGHT

2007-08-02T14:08:00.000-07:00

Hope you all can join us tonight for a live call with Peggy Campolo. An evangelical, mother, wife of popular speaker Dr. Tony Campolo, Peggy sticks her neck out as a Christian GLBT advocate. She accepts homosexuality not in spite of the Bible but because of it. Hear her story, how she and her husband disagree on this major issue, what it's like for her to speak out and why she's so committed to doing so.

This is part of our monthly teleconference series the first Thursday of every month with some of the biggest and most influential folks in the reconciliation movement. To get the access code and phone number every month, sign up for our e-blasts in the right column of the blog. For tonight's call, write us at info@godandgaysthemovie.com.

Join us!

Independence Through Apology - Ex Gay Leaders Say They're Sorry to Gay Community

2007-07-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

The Ex Gay Survivor's Conference last week was historical in many ways. Not only was it the first time ex gay survivors were proactive in setting up a gathering for other ex gay survivors around healing, sharing of stories, and empowerment but to also put a face and voice to the emotional trauma many of them have faced...never mind the suicides they know of from friends in the programs who couldn't make it through.

Last week, history was made by ex-Exodus group founders, President and leaders coming together to issue a formal statement of apology. They apologized for being a part of a paradigm and organization that made people feel not enough, broken, sinful, not accepted by God...most Christian's worst fear. They are sorry for their role even though at the time, they believed like the others, what they were saying. Fortunately, these people are huge examples of how when leaders finally get conscious of the consequences of their actions, they step back, take responsibility and choose to be vocal. They aren't flip-floppers as some would spin, they are sorrowful for their role and speak out for reconciliation, as they have now found for themselves.

Just imagine being 16, been told from the pulpit, within family and friends how gross and sinful homosexuality is...all the while scared to death that you're learning your gay. At first you don't tell anyone. Maybe you go to a pastor who tells you to go to Exodus which promises "freedom from homosexuality through Jesus Christ" which assumes you are gay because you aren't a good enough Christian. Ouch.

You start going to weekly meetings, lying to people you love of where you go on Thursday nights for hours. The struggle is on your mind constantly. It's hard to concentrate on school or what you want to do for a career. Relationships are distant, you're afraid of intimacy, it's too scary to get too close to anyone, they might find out who you really are and reject you cold. So you pretend to be social when you feel totally isolated and alone...for fear of being isolated and alone if they knew. Catch 22. At least you have control, you're the one choosing to be alone, not them, right?

Your parents finally get involved when you tell them you've been in meetings for 2 years and nothing's changed. They pay for you to not go to college, but to go to the live-in version for a couple of years. You try to abide by the 254 rules while living 24/7 in a house with several others of your peers dealing with the same thing...and you're all the same gender, separated from the opposite gender. You are told to tell your most shameful sexual sin in detail in front of your parents and everyone else's during the parents, friends and family members weekend. Now your parents are brought into the mire and emotionally devastated. Where did they go wrong with you? You feel shame, guilt, embarrassment wanting all this to just end.

Two years turns into 12, hundreds of dollars turn into several thousands. Alas, you still are who you are. You decide you've done all you can to please God except one thing; accept how he made you and live your life as he's designed it, no longer listening to others tell you how you're supposed to live your life. You realize there's no such thing as should, normal or supposed to...or even try. Try is just another term for confusion, stuck, indecisive, non committal. You step up and step out of the programs.

Then, you learn of this statement of apology. The fact that someone in the program is sorry for putting you through all that suffering for no reason, to fix what isn't broken in you. You're out 12 years of your life, thousands of dollars. You're angry, maybe you've left religion as a result, you might get involved in more self-destructive behavior because it's all you know to do from your ex gay experience...you get into drugs or alcohol, become promiscuous, become anti-social and other coping mechanisms people choose when they feel directionless and incomplete.

The apology hits you hard. It brings up feelings and emotions you've been trying to silence externally. It asks you to forgive those who wronged you. The range of emotions sways and then you realize you just got the biggest gift anyone could have given you. Someone who harmed you actually said they were sorry. How often does that happen in our culture? What a gift. You decide to accept their apology. It frees you like you've never felt before. You feel like a backpack of weights are taken off your back for the first time since you were 16. You get it. You come to self-acceptance finally. You don't hate yourself and beat yourself up anymore. You start to love yourself and in turn are now available to love others healthily. The smile returns to your face. You finally feel happy. No more struggle. Sure, you could have done this without the apology, but this apology sure is nice, isn't it.

I'm proud to know and have in our movie one of the authors and signatures on the apology, Darlene Bogle. There's a series of photos and YouTube videos from the Conference event, you can see how it went down for yourself. The apology spans across all of us who have or had a struggle around homosexuality and religion. Forgive them, for they know not what they do....

Sabrina Matthews Benefits God & Gays July 17th

2007-07-03T13:38:00.000-07:00

I'm happy to announce Sabrina Matthews, from NBC's Last Comic Standing and Wolfe Video's Outlaugh DVD will be headlining a fundraising event for our God & Gays Gathering. Here's the gist:

An Evening with Sabrina Mathews to Benefit the God and Gays Gathering

NBC's Last Comic Standing and out lesbian comic Sabrina Mathews performs her hilarious comedy live Tuesday, July 17th 7pm at Club Savoy in Santa Clara, CA. Catch her in an intimate setting all to benefit the God & Gays Gathering, a live event to bring people together in conversation and healing around homosexuality and religion.

6.30 pm - Doors Open
7 pm – Event Begins
- Local singer/songwriter Derek Jameson performs
- Oakland’s acoustic guitar player and singer Karen Soo Hoo performs
- Sabrina Mathews performs
9pm - Event Ends

Tickets available online and at the door: www.godandgaysthemovie.com

Club Savoy
3546 Flora Vista Ave. Santa Clara, California 95051
Phone: (408) 244-6909
http://www.clubsavoy.com/

Derek Jameson, for those of you who have the movie, is the guy who sings the song over the ending credits. The song, Whisper, was custom written by Derek and his lyricist Adis Eminic just for the movie. It's really an amazing song. Karen Soo Hoo has contributed music to past projects for Luane and is amazingly talented and a wonderful human being. We're lucky to work with folks of this caliber.

So, if you're in the San Francisco Bay Area or know people who are, let them know about this event. It's basically going to be very very fun. See you there and Happy Fourth of July.

My Weekend at the Ex Gay Survivor Conference

2007-07-02T13:49:00.000-07:00

Wow....what a weekend. Peterson Toscano and Christine Bakke from BeyondExGay.com along with Soulforce put together this first time ever, unique and much needed Ex Gay Survivor's Confrence in Irvine, CA. It happened less than a mile from Exodus' "Freedom" Conference. Fascinating that what Exodus was interfering and creating at their conference, was the same thing the survivor conference was trying to repair and heal. It's like a photo I took of a Krispy Kreme donut store directly across the street from a hospital. Cause and effect. Choices and consequences. Eat a lot of donuts, you'll end up in the hospital sooner than you think. Believe a lot of harmful lies and psychological trauma based in fear, you'll end up suicidal, ripped from your family and if you survive, putting the pieces of your life together slowly, maybe have a healthy relationship without feeling guilty. Either donuts or dogma, we're allowing it to ourselves. We're the ones putting it in our system and digesting it. But these options are only available if there's an audience willing to pay and hear it.

Why not skip the middle man and allow God to guide you? No need to spend money to hear someone say every gay person is gay because they were molested (Melissa Fryear of Exodus) or it's the father's fault because he didn't hug his son enough (Nicolosi from NARTH) or it's the mom's fault because she wasn't a strong role model for her daughter. Why pay someone to do that to you? Why doubt yourself and God's guidance in your life that much?

Even Exodus' current leader, Alan Chambers, says, "expect a life of denial" as an ex gay and he frequently mentions a daily prayer he says asking God to help him not do what comes naturally to him.

The focus on the Survivor conference was not on Exodus or bashing them, it was in support and encouragement for those who went through the programs and are broken inside, carry pain and guilt still, feel divided, walked away from God, are angry and feel betrayed and for those who have accepted themselves, want to meet others and see they aren't alone.

People shared their stories, there were tears, there was laughter. We got to show our movie and the praise was high. This was a very different crowd for our movie...we usually have 80% heterosexual people attend. This time it was the opposite. What was important to me was that they felt properly represented. Like the movie voiced them and their experience, saying what they'd want to say to people. And they did. They felt great about the movie expressing and representing them. Phew.

You probably have caught the articles, our own Darlene Bogle on CNN, etc from the Ex conferences. It was amazing to be a part of history.

If you're ex gay or had an ex gay experience yourself or with your child, I highly recommend coming to our Gathering in Nashville August 3/4. You'll be safe. You'll be upheld. You won't be alone. You'll be comforted. You'll be heard. You'll matter. You'll be addressed in love. Click the registration button on the right column and see you in Nashville.

I'll continue to blog on my experiences and the kinds of stories we heard this weekend, some heart breaking, some very redeeming. I'll also share one of the disturbing emails we got recently.

Hang in there if you've had an ex gay experience. There is light at the end of the tunnel...hang on....there's a huge support system here for you.

God & Gays Gathering August 3 & 4

2007-06-27T08:39:00.000-07:00

We've sent out a press release and wanted you to have a look so if you see mentions in your local media, write us and let us know. Word doesn't always get back to us that someone has covered our movie or the Gathering.

Also, feel free to copy and paste the release and email or fax it to your local TV, newspaper, radio, entertainment magazine's news assignment editor in arts & entertainment, religion sections and features editors. And, if you have a favorite personality or reporter, send it to them as well. We have seen the success over and over again that if people know about the movie and now the Gathering, they will show up and as a result, thousands of lives will be positively impacted. So help spread the word.

You can also easily send it to your local churches, diversity resource center, University multicultural office, state equality organization and others you know of that will want to join in and get the word out. Thank you in advance! It takes all of us!

Contact: Michele Karlsberg
(718) 351-9599
KarlsbergM@aol.com
Gathering Schedule Available at: http://www.godandgaysthemovie.com/conference

God & Gays: Bridging the Gap
The Movie. The Gathering. The Movement.

Bishop Spong, Mel White and Actor/Comedian Jason Stuart and many more converge in Nashville for the highly anticipating
God & Gays Gathering 2007: Unity is Our Identity

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif., July 1, 2007 -– “I’d rather she be dead than gay,” confesses a mother who, unfortunately, got her wish. She lost her daughter to suicide and talks about it in the heart-wrenching and yet unifying feature documentary, God and Gays: Bridging the Gap.

Filmmakers, Gathering founders and life partners, Luane Beck and Kim Clark, created God and Gays: Bridging the Gap to offer an intimate look into the lives of people raised in Christian homes and who struggle, knowing – or fearing, their homosexual path. Now, they host the largest, most impressive line-up of qualified speakers on the country’s most non-discussed topic, can you be Christian and be gay? With the religious right and mainstream Christianity teaching emotionally traumatizing ex-gay therapies, celibacy or subtle and equally as harmful forms of tolerance, it’s the perfect time in history for the God & Gays Gathering.

The God & Gays Gathering features progressive Episcopalian Bishop John Shelby Spong, previous ghost writer to Jerry Falwell Rev. Dr. Mel White, evangelical minister’s wife Peggy Campolo and ex-Exodus group leader Darlene Bogle plus many more together to Nashville, TN. Considered a central location for people all around the Bible belt area to attend, Gathering founder Kim Clark hopes, “anyone who is tired of being asked to vote on marriage equality and hearing only fear as the reason to keep people divided and are ready to deal with the human side of the debate around homosexuality and religion in a safe, accepting environment is welcome. We are ready for the parents and friends of gays, lesbians and transgender people to come so we can support them as they will and do get flack from society for not disowning their loved one. We are ready for the gay person with nowhere to go safely, who has contemplated or attempted suicide to instead invest time in him or herself, in what they’re going through and how to work with their faith to be the solution, not the problem. We’re ready for the church leader, the teacher, the therapist, to give them support in leading their groups to learning more on what it’s like to be gay and religious. The goal is empowerment. Get people out of victim status and they become more of who they are, how God made them.” Clark is best known for her quote, “comfort zones are slow dream killers” and lives by it on a daily basis, which is what got her through making God & Gays: Bridging the Gap and creating several support services like the Gathering. Her partner, Luane Beck, originally made the film based on Clark’s own personal struggle with being gay and Christian. Since premiering, they’ve toured the country speaking to large groups, showing the movie, receiving thousands of emails, letters of support and stories about changed lives.

God and Gays: Bridging the Gap is a rare opportunity to get questions answered, challenge the myths about gay people, and to put a human face on a hot political issue. The story is uniquely told by the people who live the struggle, judgment, fear and ignorance of others every day. “This is about real human beings, contributors to society, educated, kind, God-loving people. This is for real and people deserve to see and hear the stories of the people whose lives they will affect,” says Producer Kim Clark.

God and Gays: Bridging the Gap unifies Christianity and sexual preference in a time where church denominations are on the verge of dividing, in an era where history doesn’t repeat itself, but people repeat history.

Editors: For an EPK and free viewing of the movie trailer, go online to http://www.godandgaysthemovie.com. To schedule an interview with the filmmakers and people featured in the movie, call (718) 351-9599.

About Zernus Productions: Writer, Director and Actor Luane Beck started Zernus Productions to produce her first feature-length narrative drama Intentions in 2001. Award winning documentary producer Kim Clark joined in 2003 and together they focus their true-to-life stories with social integrity and unification in mind, heart and soul. Learn more about the nationally distributed Intentions at http://www.zernusproductions.com

– END –

Day of Silence for Internet Radio

2007-06-26T12:34:00.000-07:00

Most folks are not like me in some ways. For example, I eat my gardenburgers upside down. If I have any socks on at all, I walk around with only one on usually. I bounce my left leg feverishly for an hour before I notice it.

But, many folks are like me in the way of listening to internet radio, the last free medium for indy artists, multicultural music and channels to lost songs and artists that we'd never hear on commercial radio. And it's free to the listeners. No subscriptions, they survive on donations.

I personally listen to UK and French stations through the internet. I like hearing what's going on in Europe since they are far ahead of us in music trends and I like variety. I mostly like listening to ambient...or "chill" music. It's meditative and helps me be creative in my writing.

Today, I gotta pull out the CDs because internet radio channels are silent to demonstrate how the future will sound if we don't get involved with what's going on in DC these days. There's been a horrific copyright royalty charge on internet radio stations including past years that will put most internet channels out of business. That's the point. The proponents want to silence them, because they can't control them.

There's lots of talks quietly going on around the internet to make it more profitable for large companies. Being an indy filmmaker, and with filmmaking one of the last frontiers to have a voice untouched by profit margin, I tend to step up for whoever the little guy is when the big guy is trying to crush the little guy.

Hey, I grew up on Underdog. I also believe in cooperation and that there's abundance in this world. We don't need to crush and eliminate others so we can advance. Wallace D. Wattles writes about the maturity of a person in their spiritual growth is marked by embracing creativity and not lowering oneself to competition. Yep, this harkens to the philosophy that I learned all I needed to know in kindergarten. Sharing, making room for another so we can all work together balancing our strengths is what benefits us all. There's no reason to silence internet radio, besides fear and lack of control...which is fear.

So, if you appreciate internet radio like you do indy films, free speech blogs like this one and other internet beauties, I highly recommend going to saveinternetradio.com and learn more how you can simply help. The little guy is more representative of who we are as individuals, than the big guy trying to define who we are as a collective. You're needed. Help 'em out and contact your congress person telling them to rescind the enormous royalty charges. It's not that radio doesn't want to pay any, they just can't pay the rate they are being charged.

Extinction of good things can be preserved. Ball's in your court. Thanks.

Ex Gay Survivor in Irvine this Weekend

2007-06-25T14:55:00.000-07:00

This weekend is the Ex Gay Survivor's Conference in Irvine, CA. BeyondExGay.com and Soulforce put together a series of workshops, speakers, performances, music and movies to bring people together who have dealt with ex gay ministries in their lives.

I will be in the minority there as I didn't fall for the ex gay ministry tractor beam propagated by many Christian churches in the country. I don't know how I escaped it actually. Under the sign saying "Grace Ministries" at my previous church, sat a table top full of books titled "You Don't Have to Be Gay" and other such myths. I was fortunately at a place of self-acceptance that seeing the contradiction of the book titles with the sign saying Grace helped me leave the church, never looking back.

If you're not familiar with what ex gay means, it's a philosophy around believing being gay is preventable and/or curable. All you have to do is read the Bible more and welcome Jesus into your heart. It completely negates those of us who have reconciled did not do so in spite of God, but because of Him. Well, recently the head honchos at Exodus International, the biggest and best funded ex gay ministry (by Dobson's Focus on the Family) stated they see homosexuality is actually not a choice. Gee, what took them so long?

It's a way to make people conform to other people's level of comfort. It takes creativity away from God. It's absurd and there's thousands of people in loveless marriages because of it.

Now the course of self-justification of existence is to say gays must be celibate. As if all gays can be priests, when priests aren't always able. It's insane. It's emotionally traumatic. It's caused youth and adults to commit suicide. It's psychological malpractice. It divides families. It divides individuals. It's conditional when the Bible is clear on loving as Jesus loved, which is unconditionally.

We have Darlene Bogle, a former ex gay (I guess an ex ex gay...) and former leader in Exodus Ministry in our movie. She has a powerful story of how she sees how damaging her life was by confusing being numb with being straight. The self-hatred she had, burrowing it in alcohol, drugs, staying busy at work so she didn't have to feel or deal. I've met others who are anorexic. I have a personal friend who has caused herself an ulcer, had surgery, aged her skin with stress, kept her kids home from school so she isn't alone, got addicted to Vicodine...all to avoid and self-punish after listening to made up marketing terms like "pro gay theology". People will cause themselves physical harm when emotional trauma manifests. It's emotional trauma because there's a huge disconnect from our soul to God when we pull back and listen to made up rules from human beings versus listening to what God is telling us in the whispers. Even if we ignore it or deny it at first, it always gets worse and the consequences greater. Always. Being gay can't be fixed, because there's nothing to fix.

Darlene now is on fire to minister to ex ex gays and help those currently in ex gay groups get out and get on with their life as a whole human being.

We have another person in the movie who is currently ex gay and has been for 10 years. We've gotten the feedback from screenings of how viewers can see her pain and struggle and wish she would truly connect to God and get her nose out of studying herself into dead ends to keep herself from feeling anything. It's interesting. People think they pull off how they are happy and at peace, even though parts of them are quite shut down.

We don't fool anyone. Except ourselves usually. I'm excited to be at the conference and show the movie on Sunday, July 1st 4pm at UC Irvine as the grand finale. I'm proud to be a part of a sanctuary of sanity for people who got caught in the ex gay net. Hope to see you there on Friday with Mel White, Wayne Besen and Darlene Bogle. I love my job.

Luane's Other Projects...and Our Next

2007-06-20T18:16:00.000-07:00

So, how about this for "coincidence"? I'm started to write this blog at 6:16pm. That miracle won't mean anything unless you read the previous blog, but...SEE?? It happens to me all the time. Has it happened to you yet? We'd love to hear if 6:16 suddenly starts catching your eye...we can start a nationwide movement called 6:16 and have it about taking a minute every day to remember why we're here and be in appreciation that we are here. Hmmm...an interesting idea.

Speaking of 6:16, I forgot to tell you a few years ago Luane actually wrote a David Lynch-like script called 6/16 for a grad program project. We gathered a crew and shot the 24 min. short over a long weekend (and it was loooonggg...not much sleep on indy film sets). Luane's not happy with how the lighting turned out so currently it's only for our eyes. We showed it once at an Intentions screening (Intentions is Luane's first movie...you can get it at amazon, blockbuster, netflix and see it on Logo television). There was a fantastic reaction to it, but Luane being the artist she is, doesn't want to release it as it is. Who knows, maybe we'll re-shoot it and put it out there.

The story is basically how I saw and dealt with my sister's tragic death...then and now. It's out of order, I acted in it (well, tried) and the pool scene was too intense for me to stick around and watch. But it's a good script, a great story and I'm sure it'll help someone someday. With this short film and God and Gays, you'd think Luane uses me and my life story as her muse. Well, I guarantee our next project has nothing to do with my life...but a lot to do with my sense of humor. We're in scripting and plan to fund and start shooting next year. So excited!

We'll keep you in the loop as things move along...

My Sister is An Alien

2007-06-19T12:45:00.000-07:00

Okay, today's blog is just for fun...my sister, her husband and their kid took photos in the local Apple store with new software called photobooth. I laughed so hard! Enjoy: http://piedpiperpiping.blogspot.com/

6:16

2007-06-18T14:07:00.000-07:00

June 16th is a very memorable day in my family. June 16th, 1985 my younger sister and youngest sister went with my mom to the grandparents for my younger sister's birthday. I was supposed to go with them, but as a typical 16-year old on the weekend, I slept in, so they left without me and my Dad went to his second job he did on the weekends.

After an afternoon of Doritos and Diet Coke (I can't believe I used to live on that junk...) and watching MTV when it was still showing music videos, I hear screeching of tires into our driveway. I hear my Dad screaming for me as he runs into the kitchen. I jump up, we hug, he's very very upset and manages to tell me there had been an accident.

What happened at that moment and for the next three days completely changed my world, my family and me.

My 12-year old sister, on her birthday, had lunch with the family and followed my then 6-year old kid sister and my mom out to the pool at my grandparents house. My sister was a frog, not only for the green swimsuit she wore out but because she loved being in that pool. With my kid sister bobbing along with her floaties in the shallow end and my mom sitting by the pool taking out her contacts, my sister was doing a lap, pushed off the deep end wall where the underwater light is, her feet touched the metal frame around the light and was instantly electrocuted.

My grandfather later found out there was an electrical short out there. Even though no one blamed him or was ever upset at him, he took that guilt to the grave. My family was devastated, changed, and asking why.

We all grieved and handled it in our different ways, maybe a little too separately. Two years later, my parents divorced.

The good stuff that came from this life-altering experience is I recognized life is short. Too short to get into drama. Drama is stupid. I became more patient. More compassionate. A better listener. Closer to God.

The one major pattern I just recently got help recognizing that started from that moment 22 years ago is how I handle conflict and tough situations. What I do when Luane and I disagree, is I pull back, I disconnect, I put up a wall of shame and guilt for messing something up, not doing something, not doing enough...and therefore not BEING enough. This came from the guilt and shame I carried for YEARS believing I was supposed to be there with my family at my grandparents. Had I been there, maybe I could have saved my sister. I felt horrible about making such a stupid choice as to sleep in. I kept saying I just wanted my sister to come back and tell me she forgave me for not being there for her. I was always there for her when kids picked on her or she wanted to borrow my clothes. I felt the one time she really could have used me, I wasn't there and now she was gone...somehow, I believed it was my fault.

Since we were all handling it differently, I didn't voice this. I expected them to agree so I felt shame. Ten years ago, I finally confronted my guilt, had several keening moments and finally forgave myself, acknowledging there was nothing I could have done and to focus on the good stuff of when she was alive.

It's been 10 years and I thought I was done. Nope. That pattern of retreat had stayed alive. Now I'm focusing on being more conscious, present and not letting old patterns run my life. I run my life. I run it with co-creation, energy supplied by God. My sister is still teaching me things, even 22 years after her death.

My kid sister, as you can see from the photo, has done an amazing thing. She tatooed the dates of our sister on her ankle. I was there and watched her wince and clench while it was being done, the whole time, talking to Tiff and letting her know how much we love and miss her. It was awesome. As my kid sister says, "going through something like losing a sister, you make up your mind as a family that ya stick together. No matter what." Which has helped her be supportive of my being gay.

The year I forgave myself around my sister's death, was the same year I had my struggle and came out. I wonder what else is getting ready to be revealed....

...but at least once a week, usually more, I'll randomly look at the clock and catch it saying 6:16. And every time that happens, it makes me pause, smile and say hi to Tiff, thanking her for looking out for me. I know I'm never alone, but it's sure cool to have that moment to remind me what's really important in life. When you catch 6:16 on the clock, I hope it helps you, too.

Massachusettes Still the Rock Stars in Equality

2007-06-14T14:13:00.001-07:00

This just in...

Massachusetts Defeats Discriminatory Constitutional Amendment on Marriage

EQCA Calls on Governor Schwarzenegger to Oppose Discrimination

Statement by EQCA Executive Director Geoff Kors

SAN FRANCISCO – In a joint legislative session on Thursday, lawmakers in Massachusetts rejected a proposed constitutional amendment to ban marriage for same-sex couples by a vote of 45–151. The vote secures marriage by eliminating any chance that the amendment would get on the 2008 ballot. At least 50 votes were needed to advance the measure.

“Today’s victory illustrates the incredible leadership of Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick, MassEquality, Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders, legislative leaders and scores of lawmakers who all diligently fought for fairness and dignity for gay and lesbian couples and the entire LGBT community in Massachusetts,” said Equality California Executive Director Geoff Kors. “Since he took office, Gov. Patrick made the compelling and necessary case that minority rights should never be put up for a popular vote. Today, we call on Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to demonstrate the same kind of leadership in recognizing that the ballot process should never be used to take away or preclude basic rights and freedoms.”

For more information visit massequality.org and glad.org

Luane ran her marathon!

2007-06-14T12:58:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, Luane started training in March when she could only stand walking a mile, to run a marathon in June (that's 26.2 miles...in the same day...). She signed up with Team in Training for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. She raised more than her minimum, stuck to what the coaches told her to do, ran the marathon by running 9 minutes, walking three for 6.5 hours in warm San Diego, CA sun with 17.000 other people. She is injury-free, she just walked really funny for a few days, and she's on a great personal high as this was one of her items on the "life list".

Now she's hyped to either be a mentor and do it all again (this time run in Alaska with the Moose) and/or train for a Team in Training triathalon.

I'm so proud of her. She got through all the mind garbage to acheive her goal and did while raising money for treatments to help someone's mother, brother, father, sister, friend not die needlessly without cures.

I know this doesn't really have anything to do with our work directly. But, since it's a big deal for us, it influences our work. We're getting the message that obstacles are not what they appear to be and can be overcome when there's a pure reason to do so.

Central Pennsylvania or Alabama?

2007-06-13T13:10:00.000-07:00

We just returned from 4 screenings in 3 days in Central Pennsylvania. As the saying goes, there's Pittsburgh, there's Philadelphia and then Alabama inbetween. Depending on your perception and experience of Alabama will determine what you think of that statement. Its intent was apparently to demonstrate the middle part of PA is lots of country, farmland, Amish communities and religious conservatism. And therefore, not a welcoming environment for gay, lesbian or transgender persons.

A sidenote, did you know that the republican party actually motivated the Amish (who live their personal and religious lives in the 1800s...no running water, no electricity, ride in buggies) in the last election by frightening them of the eminent overrun of gay people if they didn't vote? Fascinating. I'd be ticked if I was Amish...being used in that way for political gain. Oh wait, I am being used that way....

So, we started at Penn State in Harrisburg where we ate large chocolate chip cookies (I had so many over the weekend! The word got out that I love them and have the goal of eating one wherever we travel...I'm still batting 100% on that goal), we made our own calzones and experienced a thunderstorm in the middle of the movie that knocked out the video of our movie, but the audio kept playing. In our sense of humor, our host told the audience to think of it as listening to NPR while they fixed the projector. It was fantastic...everyone stayed during the black out and was very enthusiastic during the Q&A. Then the question came around if we'd distribute an audio version, which we do plan to do. We just didn't count on testing it on an audience just yet.

Then we had two showings at the Penn Central United Church of Christ Conference where they had voted that morning to continue to honor marriage equality 251 to 91, a flip from just a year ago. We had ministers telling us they were on the fence or on the other side of the marriage equality issue and were so touched by the movie and our stories, they are now committed to equality in their churches and see how crucial it is for straight people of faith to step up and speak out. It was incredible. We even had a few people who had been strong advocates for keeping GLBT folks out of the church and not allowing equality in marriage attend. They came, they stayed, they listened, they nodded in affirmation. We couldn't ask for more. But we did get more by meeting a local therapist who was just crying to us afterwards. She's the person who hears the pain and the stories in these more oppressive areas. She meets and works with these real people with these real problems. She shared some of her stories so people who think they don't know anyone gay can get a grasp of how serious this all is. I just kept saying thank you to her, over and over again. I get how important it is that she's doing what she's doing. I get that she's carrying a lot with her when she hears other Christians talk about the gay agenda and other myths about the homosexual community.

Our last screening was at an open and affirming UCC church just outside of Harrisburg. They became O & A (which means they openly and officially accept LGBT people as they are...they don't try to fix what ain't broke) not because there were LGBT people there. They don't even know if there's any LGBT people who attend their church. They did it because it's the right thing to do. Entirely lead by straight allies who are members of the church, since their transition they've seen their attendance increase some by LGBT people (well, the ones that are out anyway) but more by straight families. They WANT to go to a church that walks the talk of taking people for how God made them. They get that if one is disadvantaged, we all are. We live in a system of relationships and the system is altered when there's inequality...it pulls us all down.

So, don't believe the hype about Central PA. They really genuinely care about their neighbors. They are doing something about it. Their PFLAG chapter is very strong, very committed and unconditionally loving. And they need to be. We're big fans of PFLAG and love meeting the volunteers. I cry every time I meet a PFLAG parent out of gratitude for what they are choosing to do with their time and love. We look forward to visiting Central Penn again soon. There's lots of reasons to go back, namely 3B ice cream...just kidding.

Dr. James Holsinger for U.S. Surgeon General?

2007-06-12T23:45:00.000-07:00

Fitting to the pattern of choosing the most controversial persons to high posts of government, Pres. Bush announced recently his nomination of Dr. James Holsinger. You might have seen the CNN ticker that said "gays oppose Holsinger" or the like, often not really saying why and therefore leaving the impression those gays are just whiners and would disagree with anything the President would do.

That's not true. I think lots of gays would be in agreement if Bush decided to leave office because his conscience finally got to him for all the harmful decisions he's made over the years that have effectively touched all Americans and quite a few folks around the world personally. I can see the purpose for a psyche of denial and irrational support for irrational decisions like Holsinger. It's a coping mechanism. If he ever actually felt a piece of the damage he's helped cause, it'd be too much to handle...no one could handle the guilt and weight.

So, the reason in a nutshell why Holsinger isn't the best candidate for the Surgeon General job is because, as HRC says:

How can we trust Holsinger to be America's top doctor, when his resume looks like this:

In 1991 used basic plumbing analogies to write a "scientific and medical" paper arguing that homosexuality is unnatural and dangerous.
Founded the Hope Springs Community Church, which reportedly has a special program to "cure" gays from "that lifestyle."
Past writings indicate that he views sexual orientation as a "lifestyle choice." This could not be further from the view held by mainstream medical or scientific organizations.

and Soulforce says in their press release:

Dr. Holsinger is the current president of the United Methodist Judicial Council. As a member of the council, he opposed the 2004 decision to allow Rev. Karen Dammann, a lesbian, to continue serving as a minister. He also upheld the 2004 defrocking of Rev. Beth Stroud, another lesbian minister, and sided with a Virginia pastor who denied church membership to an openly gay man. Soulforce stood in solidarity at the trials of Rev. Dammann and Rev. Stroud, challenging the unjust policy that bars gay men and lesbians from ordination in the United Methodist Church and the false doctrine that homosexuality is "incompatible with Christian teaching."

Holsinger co-founded Hope Springs Community Church, in Lexington, Kentucky, which operates an "ex-gay" ministry aimed at changing homosexuals to heterosexuals. Recent events have brought national attention to the existence of programs intended to modify same-sex desires, which continue to multiply in spite of the consensus of the major medical and mental health organizations that sexual orientation is not a disorder and is, therefore, not in need of a cure. The American Psychological Association identifies "depression, anxiety, and self-destructive behavior" among the possible risks associated with ex-gay therapies.

The concerns are valid that the nation's top doctor would be swayed by religious prejudice versus scientific medical findings in guiding the nation's health...mental and physical.

Learn more about ex gay "ministries" June 29-July 1 in Irvine, CA at the Ex Gay Survivor's Conference at UC Irvine. We'll be there, show the movie and have lots of discussion. Our own Darlene Bogle, an ex-ex gay, whatever that is, will be there too and speaking in her own workshop and doing book signings for her new book, A Christian Lesbian Journey.

Hope you'll consider calling your senator to oppose this nomination. It's not in ANYONE'S interest to have this grossly of bias when it comes to medicine and health...I shudder to think about it....

Equality Updates and Boundaries

2007-06-06T11:11:00.001-07:00

The New Hampshire governor recently signed civil unions into law and California had a major bill passing to further marriage equality to same sex couples. It's fascinating that the California governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, yes, the actor...I can't believe I'm writing the two careers in the same sentence...always puts a letter in the HRC programs as well as Pride Festival program guides all over the state. It's usually talking about how exciting it is that the "ice" is melting and unification is growing to respect each member of society equally. And yet, he's the one who keeps vetoing the marriage bills. One of his personal assistants who spends more time with him than his celebrity wife, is a gay man. How can the assistant stand to watch his boss stamp "denied" time and again keeping him and millions of others as second class citizens legally? How can Arnold do that to someone he trusts and knows so well? How does he sleep at night? Why the bogus letters in pride guides? Are we that dumb? Ouch.

It comes down to boundaries and what we're able to allow. We teach people how to treat us. I recently had lunch with two UCC pastors and we talked of just a few years ago how in hiding we were. Now, we can't even remember the people we were who would allow such lying. We couldn't hide for anything now. We can't lie anymore, about anything. We're so in our skin, so self accepting, all we know is what is real and what is honest.

We head out this weekend to Pennsylvania to be with UCC church leaders and members. We get to show the movie and talk with them as some embark on taking their congregation and churches to becoming open and affirming to GLBT people. They are seeking to bridge the gap in their community and help be a place for people to reconnect to their faith and to God. We're honored to be a part of it and we'll let you know how it goes.

PS: Don't forget the Bishop John Shelby Spong call tomorrow night, Thursday, June 7th 5pm Pacific/8 pm Eastern.

PSS: Make sure you vote on our web poll in the right column.

"Human Loss" in the Courtroom

2007-06-06T10:24:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been away from blogging over the last week. I've never been on jury duty before and it's weird to hang out with 12 other strangers brought together for a civil lawsuit over an accident that could've happened to anybody and not be able to talk about it for a week. It's a bizarre scenario to have your schedule and life interrupted by a :15 incident from 4 years ago because these two guys couldn't or wouldn't compromise. I wasn't all that pleased with the special verdicts, but it would've been worse if I didn't say anything. It was a fascinating sociological experiment for me too.

Since we were dealing with the awarding of money for "human loss" although no one died but instead got a bruise on their thigh, much of the deliberation came down to the people's relationship with money. The real estate investor felt the settlement was too low, $123,000 isn't a lot of money to her. To the college student, anything over $5,000 was too much. The bank teller was okay until $10,000. The appliance repair man wanted the moon, $200,000 minimum because he felt the plaintiff was kin to his struggle and wanted to give the guy a new life, a new start, something he really wants for himself. Our decisions and opinions were direct reflections of ourselves.

So little of it had anything to do with the actual case. It came down to people's emotions. Fascinating. So, keep this in mind if you are looking to go to trial around money and extracting it from another private citizen. It could work for you or against you, the facts and the case itself seemed to have little to do with some people's decisions. The real "human loss" was the inability to agree on responsibility and we're set up in a legal system to put a price or cost on something emotional and intangible. It's absurd. So, we go on with our lives and this part time massage therapist in his late '50s has to deal with his wages garnished for the rest of his life.

We're all a part of the same body, what effects one, effects us all. It was truly a curious experience. So much at stake when jury members just want to go back to their lives.

Welcome New Zealand, The Race for the Bottom & Jury Duty

2007-05-29T17:01:00.000-07:00

Hi. Hope you all had a good holiday weekend here in the US. And a big hello to our newest audience members in New Zealand where the movie is touring through the OutTakes film festival. The New Zealanders are really getting the message, they are snapping up copies of the DVD and especially those who are a part of the Anglican (Episcopal) Church who have a vote coming up next month to be welcoming of same-sex blessings, they are using the movie for the perfect purpose of dialog and truly wanting to bridge the gap. Yay New Zealand!

We're also thrilled to be getting requests from churches of many Christian denominations requesting public performance permission to show the movie at their church. They recognize the dire need and urgency for "the Church" to not again historically be the last to love and accept people for who they are. The only category they are in a neck and neck race with is our government, who seems to be taking a lead in non discrimination, but with UCC churches open and affirming at the national level, MCC churches, the Methodist Reconciling Ministries, Lutherans Concerned, welcoming Baptists, the Epsicopalian churches questioning, it's a close call. So, who will be the last to equality, political law or religious law? Place your bets.

Speaking of law, I spent the day in a courtroom for jury duty. I actually, for the first time not only had to go in, but I actually got selected. Unbelievable. The week before June Pride and I'm serving on a jury for a civil lawsuit. As with everything in life, there's a reason for this timing and this situation is to somehow advance, challenge and teach me. There's never a good time for jury duty, and it could've happened at better times, but it's okay. It's a lesson of faith in the big scheme of things and I look forward to what this experience will teach me. So, if emails are slow to respond, blogs coming in late, etc. you know why.

Make sure you vote for our award winner in the right column....

Our New Poll - Vote for Ellen, Emily, Cyndi, Amy or Sharon

2007-05-23T18:56:00.000-07:00

We've launched our highly technical voting system for you, God & Gays blog readers, to choose who has earned our Bridging the Gap Award for 2007. See the poll on the right side of the blog.

These people have been nominated in 2007 for several reasons, here are just a few:

Emily Saliers: Raised in the Christian church, she's had more than her share of dealing with the gay and Christian intersection both personally and professionally. She's risen above and has lived her truth and is authentic in her private and public persona.

Cyndi Lauper: A champion GLBT ally, this singer partnered with HRC, PFLAG and the Matthew Shepard Foundation for this summer's concert tour, True Colors. The tour is dedicated to bringing people together and raising not only money, but awareness and understanding for GLBT people and issues.

Ellen DeGeneres: Well, duh. She is sure to be nominated every year. Most recently she's brought on newly outed celebrities and reads email from viewers who thank her for bringing a sense of normalcy to the "gay threat". As one email she read said, "for each celebrity who comes out, is one less teen in the ground." Amen.

Amy Grant: Long been controversial and yet consistent with unconditional love, this highly accomplished singer/songwriter is a favorite and a role model to many who were raised in the Christian church growing up on her music. Her duet with Melissa Etheridge and her sense of immunity to conservative criticism is inspiring.

Sharon Gless: This actress was the ultimate PFLAG mom on Showtime's Queer As Folk. At the end of the series, her character was the first as (that we know of) a heterosexual character who connected the dots of the inequality around marriage. Her character wanted to marry her boyfriend but chose not to as she understood that her gay son couldn't marry his boyfriend and felt it'd be, basically sick and wrong to take advantage.

Most shows that have gay characters keep the characters single and hopeless (which helps avoid the gay marriage thing) while other straight characters gleefully marry, never putting it together that getting married in front of gay people who've been together and would marry if they could is a punch in the soul.

Now there's hundreds of church leaders refusing to sign marriage licenses for only some of their congregation and then there's straight allies (Angelina Jolie, etc.) who refuse to get married until it's equal for all US citizens. Imagine the damage to the wedding industry if all straight allies made the same decision? Or, look at how much the travel and wedding industry stands to GAIN by marriage being equal for us all?

I digress...

There's many many others who are very deserving of this recognition and we look forward to the years to award them all. Until then, vote and forward this blog to everyone you know to vote as well. We'll let you know when the poll will need to close. Happy voting!

Bishop John Shelby Spong Polarizes Opinions, but Not People

2007-05-22T12:33:00.000-07:00

We're finding it rather fascinating the response we're getting from our monthly e-newsletter we sent out today as well as our announcements on our website and blog about partnering with Bishop Spong (be on a call with him live Thurs June 7th 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern). We're aware of the various opinions about Spong's ideas. It's not surprising, how else would a man of his stature have the guts to call his book Christianity Must Change or Die be welcomed in our culture? We've had emails of people saying they thank him for their coming out and staying a Christian, and not killing themselves in the process. We've had others talk about how his theology or lack thereof annoys them. All in all, everyone agrees his role as a bridge for Christians and the gay community is desperately needed and well appreciated. People are grateful for him and what he stands for.

Thank goodness. I'm proud our readers see beyond the drama and disagreements and look at how we are actually all walking in the same direction, for the same purpose. We're learning to appreciate that about each other above all else. Huge sign of spiritual maturity. That's why we love hanging out with you guys and are marking the countdown to the Conference in August which will feature Bishop Spong as one of our many amazing speakers.

There was an error in our newsletter today that we need to correct and wish to apologize for the oversight. We mentioned Gene Robinson was the first openly gay minister ordained by Bishop Spong. Rev. Robert Williams was actually the first. Rev. Robinson was the first bishop. To hear more about Rev. Williams' story, see his book called, Just As I Am: A Practical Guide To Being Out, Proud and, Christian.

Mel White on Jerry Falwell

2007-05-21T15:27:00.000-07:00

As you know, Rev. Falwell passed away last week. If you've seen our movie, you know Rev. Dr. Mel White and his extensive past (and present) as Falwell's ghost writer and church attendee. GLAAD, who will be running a workshop at our Conference in Nashville August 3/4 (register at the button on the right), posted the video interview with Anderson Cooper and Rev. White about Falwell. Take a look, tell a friend. White is featured in our movie, get a copy on DVD to the right to see what else he said about Falwell and his past.

CNN Anderson Cooper 360: Coverage of Falwell death including interview with Neil Giuliano — May 15, 2007 Link to Video

Happy Monday.

Yolanda King, MLK's daughter is in Heaven Too

2007-05-16T12:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a really crazy day on the equal rights front. Rev. Jerry Falwell, 73, passed away in his office at Liberty University while sitting as his desk. Yolanda King, 51, Martin Luther King's eldest daughter and most visual in following in her father's equality rights vision, suddenly collapsed walking down a hallway after a speech given for the American Heart Association raising awareness to black women and strokes.

Both passed while in their place of passion, in their work and they literally worked until the moment they died. It's hard to grasp why King would go so young. It's curious why God had them go on the same day, especially considering one preached separatism and superiority and the other unity and equality. Two powerful voices silenced at the same time.

Relating to my blog about my friend who died of a rare cancer (This Cubicle Supports Gay Marriage) where I'd noticed there were people around me who recently had lost someone, it seemed in a month or two like a domino effect. In the last two weeks, I've had three friends lose a parent - 2 cancers and a car accident.

It's such a reminder how we don't know how long we have and that's okay. It's okay when we know authentically that what we're doing right now...and now....and now...are the best things we could be doing. We're doing it with passion, with meaning, all the while asking, how can I serve, how can I give, what can I share? As wise ones have said in the past, once we accept our own death, can we really live.

Falwell and King left legacies, they spread consciousness, they were powerful and charismatic. We're not all meant to be in the media spotlight like them but what we do really really matters to those around us and even the strangers we encounter in the post office line. I pray that we use our power, our lives, our words for good, for benefit, out of love. That's the kind of legacy I'd like to leave.

To help remove some of the emotional blocks you might be encountering, strongly consider coming to our conference in August in Nashville, TN. Be there and be moved.

Peace and Blessings to Rev. Jerry Falwell

2007-05-15T15:15:00.000-07:00

This morning at the age of 73, Rev. Jerry Falwell, founder of the Moral Majority, passed away. It's been interesting seeing the press releases and statements from several LGBT organizations as the census is mixed emotions. People feel a sadness at the loss, a celebration as he gets to know all the answers and dance with the angels, a curiosity of what happens now with Falwell, Robertson and Dobson all of the same mindset on the LGBT conversation and of similar age range.

Hopefully, people don't get scared and emotions coming from that fear of losing their leader create more pain and harm. I'd prefer to feel confident that it opens up the conversation, allows more room to openly talk and allow people to get to know each other without concern of repercussions or having their Christian card revoked.

I really do have faith in people, like Anne Frank, that fundamentally people are good, or at least they are often trying to do what they think is best or maybe even out of love, they just have a really funny way of showing that love.

Falwell was committed, he apparently did what he thought was right in God's eyes, he had a funny way of showing God's love to LGBT people. As he is transformed now, I hope we take the similar opportunity and find ways for our thoughts and actions to transform, to become more of who we are, who God made us to be.

Peace and blessings to Falwell's church and family.

Transgender Runs for Prom King

2007-05-10T12:28:00.001-07:00

In April, we had the honor to go to a Fresno, CA reconciling United Methodist church to show the movie and spend the weekend speaking and meeting with groups. We recently learned of some consciousness shifting going on in Fresno and we're excited the student was accepted and validated by gender expression. See the article:

http://apnews. myway.com/ article/20070421 /D8OKLKP01. html

We also recently saw a documentary called Middle Sexes : Redefining He and She, where they talk about the diversity and tapestry of sexual orientation that is absolutely real and prevalent (1 out of 100 people) even though it would SEEM in our culture and media there's only a few random, sinful, rebellious "freaks" amongst us. Ouch. We couldn't be more wrong in our understanding of God's creativity. The realization and findings of orientation variety is yet another way God is teaching us unconditional love for one another as well as gaining courage for ourselves to be who God created us to be. The movie takes us to other countries and cultures, variety is everywhere, to be appreciated and cared for.

If you've ever been curious about what transgender, intersex and bisexual persons go through or who they are, rent the movie. It's on Netflix and from our site, you can click the Netflix link and get a free trial. Plus, any button or link you punch from our site, you're helping support our services. We listed Rev. Deborah's brand new book Your Deepest Intent as well as her previous one The Sacred Yes and the audio version. There's other stuff there too, check it out.

People have asked why our movie is not on Netflix yet. It's because we're in contract negotiations with a distributor so we have to put that on hold for now. Subscribing to this blog will keep you in the know of where and when you can get the movie from Netflix and many other outlets. For now, you can simply click on the right side of the blog and get right now.

The Absurdity of the Argument

2007-05-10T11:41:00.000-07:00

Someone forwarded us a link to a scene from Boston Legal that is a great demonstration of the logic and rational we get confused by when people take issue with homosexuality and especially when it's believed that being gay can be "fixed'. Take a listen and go from there:

We also want to share an interview on Good Morning America's Diane Sawyer with Christine Bakke from Beyondexgay.com who's hosting the Ex-Gay Survivor's Conference in Irvine, CA the end of June. Luane and I will be there as part of the film forum and our very own ex Exodus leader Darlene Bogle will be speaking at the conference as well. We encourage you to come, support and be supported.

http://www.comcast.net/swf/fan/fan.swf?pop=yes&ili=false&v=266604735

Talk with Bishop John Shelby Spong Thurs June 7th

2007-05-09T12:27:00.000-07:00

So, if you were on the fantastic call with Darlene Bogle and Dotti Berry last Thursday, this is old news but if you couldn't make it, check out the recorded call in our archives.

The big news is our next guest on God, Gays & You is Episcopalian Bishop John Shelby Spong. Having such a voice in the reconciliation movement at our conference in Nashville August 3/4, we thought it was perfect timing to have him as our guest for Pride Month. Spong is an ally champion sticking his neck out to religious leaders by ordaining the first openly gay minister in the Episcopalian church, Rev. Gene Robinson. He's the voice for millions of Christians who do reconcile faith and sexuality and look for ways to be empowered in their church to stand up and speak up about what's right, living God's unconditional love, the basic foundation of faith. His exegesis debates bring thousands. He's currently on a book tour for his new book, Jesus for the Non-Religious.

From Spong's website: He is the author of 15 books including the bestselling Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism, Living in Sin, Liberating the Gospels, Why Christianity Must Change or Die, and his latest book The Sins of Scripture. History will recognize him as one of the major change agents in modern Christianity.

Be sure you're on our e-blast list (sign up right now, look at the right column for the subscription box) to get the phone number and access code to be on the call. Think of a question you'd like to ask Bishop Spong and email it to us in advance. Questions will be asked in the order we receive them so the sooner you send in your questions the better.

It's free to join us on the call. Spread the word to your family, friends and colleagues and get on the e-blast list. We'll talk to you on Thursday, June 7th 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern!

Who (or What) is My God?

2007-05-08T11:20:00.000-07:00

Hi guys. There's been a great deal of shifting going on behind the scenes here at God & Gays. We launched registrations for the Conference to be held in Nashville, TN Aug 3/4, our promotional partners at PFLAG, HRC, BeyondExGay.com, UCC Coalition are all ramping up to help spread the word about the conference, we have Pride and UCC Conference showings and appearances coming up in June, we're interviewing PR reps, God & Gays will be showing all around New Zealand this and next month...and there's mass distribution on the horizon that I can't talk about just yet.

All the while, even when things seemed to be stagnant or I can't get someone's attention who would really benefit by partnering with us, or when expenses pile up and the income isn't, I could chalk it up to the life and struggle of the indy filmmaker making passion projects. Before I run to the local pizza place for a job and allow myself to get consumed by worry, stress, lack and fear of the unknown, I've finally gotten to a point where I'm more present in the present and can catch myself heading down the rabbit hole. I snap myself out of it and ask, "Kim, who's your God right now?"

I ask this because if my attention is on the worry, worry has the power of my attention and takes my perspective of reality down that insecure and fear-based route. If I'm paying the bills and focus on the lack of income, that becomes the power, the priority. As a result, I feel like the victim, I get depressed, I get scared. I say, all I want to do right now is get this movie and this conference to the people that need it, the people who will be empowered, who will reconcile themselves and ripple out this courage to overcome and reconnect. All I want to do is work on these projects, make them the best quality, to make a living at doing what I love. At a basic level, no different than what you might tell yourself too.

Then I realized that kind of talk was victim-status. It was the spiritually immature side to me that needs acknowledgment and then healing. By replacing that self-talk with 'who is my God right now', I'm able to snap out of the victim spiral, reconnect with who my real God is and step into that co-creative power.

I don't tell my small God about my big problems, I tell my big God about my small problems. I learned that saying from Rev. Deborah Johnson, she's full of impact-filled statements like these. In her first book, The Sacred Yes, she talks about God's inexhaustible supply and miracles happen where we put our intentions in touch with that supply.

My answer is critical. Who or what will I allow to triumph in my life, moment by moment? Worry? That gives me gray hairs. I don't want gray hairs just yet. Stress? That increases chances of cancer and heart conditions, not to mention digestive issues and weight loss (not in the good way). Lack? That's no fun...and we live in an abundant universe and the Source is inexhaustible. Fear of the unknown? Where's the fun in discovering miracles, divine timing and how cool "coincidences" are on a daily basis?

My answer is God. I wear a necklace that Luane gave me that is a symbol of God as Creator (Om). I touch it when I need a reminder that the Creator is running the show. If I get caught up in making worry, stress, lack, fear God in my life, I'm putting limits to the Good that can come, I'm making myself unavailable for possibility when there's more going on than what I see.

How can I be useful to God if I'm running in mental circles freaking over lack? What good am I to you if I'm stressed all the time? I can't show up for you, I can't show up for God. Isn't that the opposite of what I said I wanted to do?

So, I've finally reached a peace in myself and a self-awareness to do motivation checks and make sure when I'm paying bills, I thank God for the dollars to support the services I enjoy, when I see the bank account dwindling, I surrender and make myself available to hear inspired ideas on what the next action step is and that it'll all be for good, it'll all work out and continue to work out.

I just keep going. Now I keep going in faith and I look for the miracles in my life and my work as reminders of God saying to me, "yep, still here, what's up!" I'd forgotten that this faith is what got the documentary made in the first place. It's truly a miracle the film was made. Now I see how perfect the timing of its release is. There's been no better time in history for this kind of story.

So, you in? Who's your God right now? How's it workin' for ya? If you need different results for something, do something different. Then, you've already broken the pattern, even if it's just one step of the dance, you've created a new result. Good for you. Good for me. Now you're available too.

Bill Passes House...Thank you!!

2007-05-03T16:15:00.000-07:00

Wanted to let you all know as a follow up to today's blog that the House bill on Hate Crimes did pass and in a big way. Thank you for your prayers, efforts and all you do on a daily basis to help people feel loved, safe and appreciated. For more on the story: Human Rights Campaign.

Hate Crimes Bill in DC Today

2007-05-03T10:26:00.000-07:00

In recent weeks, there's been a huge outpouring of attendance, intention, love and debate around the hate crimes bill going through the House today. HRC is involved and so many religious leaders, progressive pastors and congregants have come from all over the country to show their support for its passing. Take a look at it for yourself, see what you think. Encourage your state representatives to do the right thing and make their decisions love-based.

Here's another chance to take a minute and even if it has nothing to do with the deadline your facing at work, getting the laundry done or paying bills, recognize that this legislation directly affects millions of people across the country and it matters that you are involved.

There's only one of us here. Separation is an illusion.

Take a gander at the write up done by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and make your own love-based decision:

This Thursday, the full House of Representatives is scheduled to vote on the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act, which would add victims of hate crimes who are targeted because of their sexual orientation or gender identity to existing hate crimes statutes. The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, Inc., has been working since the 1980s to pass similar legislation, and 2007 presents our best hope yet for passing this bill.

Yet extremists on the right are doing everything they can to prevent us from receiving the same protections provided to people who are targeted due to their race or religion. And they’re reaching new lows in their attacks. We don’t usually link to sites like the Traditional Values Coalition or the American Family Association, but this time, we felt you should see for yourself what they’re saying.

Make sure Congress understands that it needs to pass the hate crimes bill — this year. We have been waiting far too long. Contact your U.S. representatives and senators today by calling the Capitol Switchboard at 202.224.3121. And make sure to visit our Hate Crimes Protections 2007 Action Center.

God, Gays & You with Darlene Bogle & Dotti Berry

2007-05-02T17:22:00.000-07:00

With so much going on with the announcement of the Unity is Our Identity Conference, please make sure you've marked your calendars to join us for our next guests in our live teleconference series, God, Gays and You, Darlene Bogle and Dotti Berry.

Darlene Bogle who was an exodus leader for 15 years and did the ex gay thing and managed to not only survive it but become so clear on how "God don't make no junk", she's now out, in a new relationship and authored a new book, A Christian Lesbian Journey to share her amazing story with us all. Make sure you read the Forward when you get the book. :)

We also have the pleasure of talking with Dotti Berry and her partner Robynne Sapp. They were recently arrested at Focus on the Family and there was quite the wild media circus around what actually happened. So, they will tell you what really happened, why they did what they did and we'll make the connection of what Dotti and Darlene have in common.

We'll tell you about a fantastic conference coming up in Irvine, Beyond Ex Gay which Luane and I will be attending and showing the movie. Plus, being on the call, you'll learn first who is scheduled for June's guest. You won't believe it. I'm already nervous just thinking about it.

If you are currently or have been in ex gay ministries or have questions about what they are, etc. email us your questions before the call and we'll find a way to get them asked for you.

Luane and I will be on the call as well and we sincerely look forward to being with you!

Call in information:
Be sure to call in a few minutes early to get in, there's a limited number of phone lines available!
Thursday, May 3rd 5p Pacific/8p Eastern (one hour)
1-641-297-5800 (Iowa)
Participant Access Code: 29862

Unity is Our Identity

2007-05-01T10:56:00.000-07:00

Okay, it is with great pleasure (and pressure off of me to stop leaking information) that I announce we have opened registration for our God & Gays Conference coming up August 3rd and 4th in Nashville, TN!!! YEE HAWWW!!!!

Unity is Our Identity is the aptly titled theme and is from an affirmation written by Rev. Deborah Johnson. This is such a huge event, I get jolts of Red Bull without even drinking it just thinking of the line up. Check it out:

Friday night we'll kick it all off with showing God and Gays: Bridging the Gap, followed by the most amazing Q&A discussion yet featuring many of the people from the movie!

Then Saturday, here's who you'll spend the day with (you'll be blown away):

- Bishop John Shelby Spong
- Rev. Dr. Mel White
- Rev. Deborah Johnson
- Peggy Campolo
- Darlene Bogle
- Mary Lou Wallner
- Malcolm Himschoot (from Call Me Malcolm)

Music throughout the day from Nashville's own Bethany Gaddis and Vermont's Lindsay Carfagna.

Plus! You'll have your choice of break out group opportunities to meet others just like you from all over the country:

- "Conflict Management for the Church and Organization" Clergy and lay leadership workshop with Rev. Dr. Mel White
- "Healing the Sense of Separation" GLBTQ adult workshop with Rev. Deborah L. Johnson
- "Straight and Not Narrow" Ally training and workshop with Peggy Campolo & Rev. Phil Lawson
- "My Family Member is Gay, Now What?" Parents, friends and family members support and education with Mary Lou Wallner and PFLAG
- "Surviving Ex-Gay Ministries" Current and past ex-gays who seek support and alternatives with Darlene Bogle and BeyondExGay.com
- "Gay, Out and Burned by the Church: An Apology" Support and outlet for GLBTQ persons who carry wounds from past harm and pain from religion, lead by Laura Engleken
- "Youth in Alliance" College and high school ages, come and discuss how to be allies in your school, what language to use and GLBTQ youth support
- "Transgender in Action" support and focus on transgender persons seeking unification within themselves and with the Divine lead by Rev. Malcolm Himschoot from the documentary, Call Me Malcolm

And for the Big Finish: Comedy and Concert with Jami Lula, Jason Stuart, Valerie Joi Fiddmont and Jason & deMarco!

For hotel suggestions, visit our conference page: www.godandgaysthemovie.com/conference

Riding Alligator Alley in More Ways Than One

2007-04-30T14:36:00.000-07:00

I just took a business with pleasure trip to Florida to meet with churches, talk about the documentary and the conference (that opens up tomorrow!) plus I have family there and had never been to Florida in person....I've been there only through web cam which was helpful to not have to deal with humidity like I did in person.

The trip was quite a learning experience. I attended a baptist megachurch and heard a message of how we must claim Christianity in the other 50% of the world that hasn't gotten into wars over it yet. Well, that was the connection I made when hearing war statistics and lands not yet converted. The music was really great though, loved the music. I can see myself going for the contemporary music and then leaving before the message if I lived there.

This was the same church I was told from several local sources that had proactively sent out letters to all the other churches in the region urging them to promote the signing of the anti-gay marriage petition in their churches and areas of reach. The church doesn't have a great reputation when it comes to demonstrating God's unconditional love...and not to mention the whole separation of church and state thing.

Nevertheless, I met great people and know straight allies within the church and throughout the conservative region. They are there and they do care. I met with open and affirming churches including a Lutheran church who is very committed to demonstrating God's unconditional love. I was really impressed by them and how they handle criticism. They know what they are standing for is urgent, right and necessary and their strength is contagious.

I was on my way to my first meeting and found a way to get on a road the locals call alligator alley which doesn't have a turnaround exit for over 20 miles. Great. I hate being late to meetings and here I was heading to Miami amongst alligators. But, I felt more comfortable and welcomed in that scary, unknown place with wild animals than in the baptist church. At least I know where I really stand with the alligators.

Laura talks about the spectrum in our movie. The spectrum where it's Fred Phelps on one end and the other is where the atmosphere is, "come, be here...and you're flawed and need to be fixed....and you can't lead any groups or have any responsibility". I just don't get the inconsistencies between persons who call themselves Christian. I call myself a Christian and I don't get why others deem it necessary to judge me because I love. It's really not that hard to not judge others, once you get out of the habit. Well, I'm writing articles about that so I'll save that tangent for later.

For now, my favorite part of the trip was hangin' with my rock star sister, who's the love of my life (next to Luane of course). I'm so proud of her. She's one of the Christian allies that just by her being her and only speaking from love, is changing the church from within. She's a beautiful person, a wonderful mother, a great running mate, a gifted writer, a stellar photographer and I'm lucky to call myself her sister. For those of you coming to the Conference, you'll get to meet her as she and my mom both are flying in to give of their time and service in making the event smooth and safe for all of us.

My sister says she has a friend that gets really fired up over the idea of allowing gay people to be married (well, we are married anyway, it's not like it's not already happening folks...gay folks have partnered for um, decades and centuries) and couldn't get a reaction out of my sister. My sister said she wouldn't argue about it as it's not an issue to her, it's a relationship. I'm a relationship to my sister, not an issue, not something to be argued and fought over, not something to be protested, stripped of rights and degraded. I'm a relationship to her and that's all that matters.

I kept in mind no matter where I went and heard or saw things that weren't so supportive of equality in Florida, I just remembered that there's people like my sister and mom there. There's more support and acceptance than is propagated. I just keep holding the vision. Holding the vision. I invite you to also, hold the vision.

The Golden Corral of Tulsa, Oklahoma

2007-04-24T13:34:00.000-07:00

We just returned from two screenings in Tulsa and although we didn't get threatened by tornado or eat fried okra, we did get to meet some amazing Okies doing amazing reconciliation work AND we buffetted at the local Golden Corral.

My family has roots in Tulsa. Portions of my family survived the Trail of Tears where the Native Americans were moved from the Carolinas and Georgia to Oklahoma and put into reservations. Most died of disease, exhaustion, etc., some made it the whole trip, some of those were the Postoaks. My great grandmother, Gracie Lynn Postoak was on the roll and was given 160 acres from the government as a "sorry" offering. She and her siblings built their houses and did all they could to survive on farming milk and corn. Then, oil was found on the family land. It was arranged that my family would see a small percentage of those profits until the well dried up. My family built their house in 1918 and we have family still living in that house. We have most of the land still and it's been quite crowded in by others building houses and commercial buildings. I just learned this weekend that the community has a legend of our family house being haunted, which I think is really cool. I get to stay in that house whenever we visit and I do feel a spirit there, most likely it's great-grandma Gracie.

I feel a connection with her. She was tough, a survivor, got divorced when it was unheardof, protected her kids as best she could, she was smart and learned skills along the way. She provided enough to get through the Depression as a single Native American mother of four. She would face off with the government when they were messing around with her oil wells, when women and especially minority women, had little to no clout or rights.

I come from a long line of strong women, I feel very fortunate to have amazing role models of entrepreneurial spirit and kick. Such is the Tulsa way where there's a great surge of churches, church leaders, Oklahomans for Equality and PFLAG coming together and coming to terms with being a part of the reconciliation movement at a local and regional level. Nestled in the Bible belt where Baptist churches hit 9000 members, they came to Circle Cinemas on Sunday afternoon for our screenings, talked with us after the Q&A and shared exciting stories of the tremendous progress happening there. There's a lot of love in Tulsa and many who aren't afraid to show it and share it.

Tulsa's community is lucky to have Circle Cinemas too...a local boy owns it who states on his business card that Circle Cinema is "Community Consciousness Through Film". He brings in diversity, global cultures and perspectives that some in Tulsa wouldn't otherwise be exposed to. He really believes in the power of film to educate and empower and wants to offer his community ways to understand the planet as a whole, so they can live out the oneness locally.

The day wouldn't have been complete without sweet tea at the Golden Corral. My great uncle and second cousin's family took us there for dinner. Apparently it was dinner time and lots of Sunday evening services had just let out. The chaos, the amount of kids, stacked dishes, food on the tables and floor was simply amazing. Buffet restaurants are the kiss of death anyway since we're encouraged to eat everything in sight and none of it is good for us. But as we sat in the back corner protecting ourselves from flying dinner rolls and belts reaching across the table slapping toddlers eating yet another cookie, I remember the phrase, "how we do anything, is how we do everything".

Where do I gorge? In what areas do I overdo it, and even if I did it a little bit, it's still not good for me? When do I lash out, throw things, leave a room trashed and not care? It doesn't have to be physical, more than likely for me it's something more emotional and verbal. So, that's what Tulsa taught me. Going from a loving, accepting, inspiring environment like Circle Cinema and moving to the Golden Corral on Sunday evening...can I be the same - grounded, loving, accepting, etc. - regardless of my circumstances and environment. I do believe I passed the test when I helped a little girl get a square of cake while she dumped two ice cream cones to the floor. It was that moment right before the explosion...her face starting to scrunch up and let it all out..and then I said, "it's all good, we'll get this cleaned up, you'll get another shot at the ice cream and we'll be back on track." She took the offer immediately and ran off with a smile. Getting another chance, reacting in gratitude, she took the opportunity and the restaurant had one less meltdown that night. That's good for all of us.

A Straight Ally's Testimony During Day of Silence

2007-04-19T12:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Day of Silence. We got this story sent to us from a teenage woman in Illinois who is a straight ally, part of her school's GSA and wants to become a Christian pastor in the future. She participated in Day of Silence and had this real experience to share (there are swear words in it, we're keeping it real as this is how teenager's are talking, like it or not, effective or not):

"My friend and I were passing notes and she wrote "the girl behind you is being a bitch and trying to write on your shirt, she is also messing with your hair". I didn't move -- I hate confrontation. really. hate it. Then she started mumbling, and the things I heard were "gay mother-fucker" "bitch" "nasty" "She can't do nothin') and many other obsene and hurtful
comments. All of this while I was part of the day of silence. So I sat there and took it. It got so bad that I finally turned around and looked at her (still couldn't really say anything) which she followed with "turn around bitch you can't do shit to me. this bitch can't do nothin" I turned
around and my friends around me asked if I wanted them to say something. Even people I didn't know were asking if I was ok. This went on for the entire hour. The substitute not hearing anything over the sound of the movie. As we were leaving she kept talking about me. right next to me as if I was not there. I broke my silence right there when I said "are you serious??" she said "no bitch I'm kidding"....anyways our GSA sponsor went with me and I reported her... and I might have to file a sexual harassment claim. aaaaah. the whole day was very reflective until that hour. Please wish me luck tomorrow. Her parents were called and
her dean called her into the office. She knows it is me, and I get to sit in the same class with her tomorrow. Good things come from bad. Some students I didn't know were asking if I was ok. They knew it was wrong, and I guess that is a first step for a lot of people. Realizing that discrimination is not ok."

She has the courage and strength to stand for her peers in equality and someone else feeling threatened by it acted out like crabs boiling in water...when one tries to climb out, the others pull him down and as a result they ALL die (I'm vegetarian so the analogy grosses me out, but you get the point). In a culture where we often say, "Who do you think you are? Who are you?" instead of "Why not you. Why not me?" and allow each other to fly, this ally got first-hand experience of externalized fear and lack of understanding. We've been in contact with her and "coached" her some other tools to help open communication with the other woman rather than drive division and prepare her for other such instances. The altercation is a learning and growing opportunity and it's up to each of us what perception we have when we are in those situations...are we going to use it as a growing moment as it is presented to us or will we cower and recline to ineffective patterns keeping us stuck? I'll pose the same question as yesterday...are you in?

What Does Don Imus Have to Do With Me?

2007-04-18T11:06:00.000-07:00

Prior to doing the movie thing, I worked as a promotions and marketing director as well as on-air talent for radio stations starting in college. Eight years later, I left, just after the 1996 Telecommunications Act kicked in and media owners started the feeding frenzy. In the three years I was at my last station, we had 5 owners and often were orphans stuck in "LMAs" which is an ownership limbo.

While at the last station, our sister station had Don Imus in the Morning for a while. The calls my sister station colleagues would get about the program weren't not the "funnest" ways to start the day. Our sister station didn't keep his show on very long, even though it was a huge revenue stream and cheaper than a live morning show duo...the station actually saw through the money and went to a live morning show, and has thrived since.

But that's not really the Don Imus tie I wanted to bring up. The tie is something we eluded to in our monthly e-newsletter we blasted out today. The fact that America has two hugely avoided and uncomfortable topics in American conversation brought up in discouraging and desperate ways in just eight days is just cause for reflection and action. First, Don Imus makes yet another prejudiced and racist comment about african-american women. This brings up how normalized this speech seems as it is a core topic in rap videos and music and several other venues. Then with Virginia Tech and the student shooter, gun violence enacted by an alleged depressed, lonely, separated kid. Racism and gun violence. Perhaps at the surface, they look like separate isolated issues....and I beg to differ.

They are one in the same. Both are violent. Both are coming from a place of negative intention. Both are to harm and control. Both came from souls that didn't have tools to handle their fear differently and more beneficially. Both felt they had the right and were justified. We have to take responsibility for allowing our culture to raise such consciousness and such results. This behavior isn't outside of us, it's not separate from us. It takes a village and we as individuals make up that village, make up this culture and we have to take responsibility for our role in allowing the denigration of genders, races, cultures, orientations and religions through the vernacular, the everyday language. We have to take responsibility for the lone student allowed to be distanced from society, keeping the kid's imagination and life wrapped up in a head that can and will play tricks. No connection to the outside world, no connection to people equals no reason to live. Like wounded animals in the wild, he lashed out and had others feel the pain he was feeling internally. At least that way, he was no longer alone. He died with the others.

Here I am in the media and am I questioning Imus' free speech right? Ah, no. Free speech is an opinion, it is an expression of differing viewpoints and ideas. Free speech is not to slander, raise superiority, verbally assault, abuse and oppress. Free speech has a beneficial intention for society, it helps it question, learn and grow...not tear down, fight for lowest common denominator and break people's spirits.

The other tie is that these example incidents we are living with right now as a nation is no different than the equality GLBT persons seek in society. If it's one place in society, it's going to show up in another. All of this fear, all of this protection is carried down from generations. Just like domestic abuse or molestation, we have to break the cycle and let the harm end with us. Let us not carry on the fear, carry on the ignorance, carry on beating others down with our words, judgments and certainly our weapons...guns or tongues.

The time is ripe to be the change we seek. The time is ripe to improve our own worlds which will ripple to improving other's worlds and before we know it, we've improved our society and the rest of the world. I'll end the way we ended our e-newsletter blurb, lyrics from a popular song, "what kind of world do you want?" It's really up to you. How do you talk about others? What's your intent in your comments? What's your body language saying to your kids, colleagues and friends. What are you saying to yourself? How do you treat yourself? It really does start with you. And me. I'm in. You in?

Fresno Faces...A Reconciling Weekend

2007-04-17T13:29:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, myself, Luane, Laura Engleken, her partner Rachael and Darlene Bogle all trucked over to Fresno to hang with Wesley UMC. We were welcomed by a large group where we ate quesadillas and talked about LGBT life in Fresno. Then, after fun at the hotel with about two thousands kids from Future Farmers of America and their decorated minivans declaring they are number one, we headed over to the screening at the church.

Enticed by Marie Callendar's pies and free admission, the room packed up. We went around introducing ourselves, thanking people for coming and the movie started. Afterwards, we had another long Q&A with a wide array of questions for all of us, getting the chance to really get the discussion going. We met local GSA folks, PFLAG folks, members of the Reconciling committee, regional directors for Reconciling Ministries, it was fantastic.

Sunday morning started with wrestling over the toaster oven for my waffles with another 2000 Future Farmers folks before heading off to church services. Laura, the seminary student in our film, preached both services and we had a classroom discussion inbetween. Laura did an amazing job and reached people who came just to hear her talk. One gay man said he hadn't been to church for 23 years and shook her hand in gratitude for her healing words.

Most conversation was brought up by straight allies who wanted to know what to do when they are judged for standing up for LGBT people, when they are told they are sinners, when they are dealing with folks who insist there's separation and superiority (versus equality).

It was a great reminder of all the ways the movie can be and is used. It's a teaching tool, communication tool, dialogue starter, empowerment tool, compassion resource and shows that we can handle taboo and emotionally-charged topics and be mature about it. We saw tears, we saw reflection, we saw smiles, we saw laughter, we saw relief this weekend. We'll always remember the faces of Fresno and as one of the lyrics in the Sunday service songs says, "I will hold your people in my heart." This is why God & Gays is more than a movie. It's real life.

This weekend, we'll be in Tulsa, Oklahoma showing the movie twice at Circle Cinemas, 2pm and 5pm with a Q&A with Luane and I inbetween at 3.30pm. It's the first time it'll be shown in Oklahoma and we hope you'll spread the word to anyone you know who would benefit from coming and seeing the movie and being part of the discussion. The screening is co-presented by Oklahomans for Equality and we're so grateful for the partnership of local open and affirming churches.

We live in a much more accepting society than the media and others may have you believe. Don't believe the negative hype....there's a ton of support and more is growing every day.

Day of Silence, A Day to Speak Out

2007-04-16T13:50:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, April 18th is National Day of Silence, supported by GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network). Here's what the event is about:

Hundreds of thousands of secondary and college students are expected to participate in GLSEN’s Day of Silence on April 18 to bring attention to anti-lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender bullying, harassment, name-calling and discrimination in schools.

A project of GLSEN, or the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, in collaboration with the United States Student Association, the 11th annual National Day of Silence will be one of the largest student-run days of action in the country. Students at more than 3,000 schools already have registered at www.dayofsilence.org to participate, many of whom will take a vow of silence, wear stickers and/or pass out cards explaining why they are not speaking.

"Seeing so many students – gay and straight – bring attention to the pervasive problem of anti-LGBT bullying and harassment is an inspiration to all of us who believe that every student has a right to feel safe in school," said GLSEN Founder and Executive Director Kevin Jennings. "In choosing not to speak, students will say so much about the will of our youth to bring about positive change in schools."

Bullying and harassment based on actual or perceived sexual orientation and how masculine or feminine a student is are two of the top three reasons students said their peers are harassed in school, behind physical appearance, according to a 2005 Harris Interactive study, From Teasing to Torment: School Climate in America.

Additionally, nearly two-thirds of LGBT students (64%) reported feeling unsafe at school because of their sexual orientation in GLSEN’s 2005 National School Climate Survey.

The Day of Silence was created by University of Virginia students in 1996 and went national in 1997. GLSEN became the sponsor in 2001.

There are a number of bills in a variety of states including sexual orientation as protectable against bullying, discrimination and being fired from a job, as well as having safe schools. Take a listen to the silence on Wed. There's no reason why it couldn't be extended to people's work places, to younger students and other venues to help spread education. There's a recently written blog by David Shelton that gives more perspectives on the event, see Silencing the Silent from April 8th. Check it out, see what you think.

Regardless on if you think this is a great way to make a statement, look beyond just the expression and see the intention. The intention and the message is something we must live out on a daily basis, no matter our age or where we are. Love is a universal principle. See what each of us can do little by little....

I Smile, You Smile, We All Smile for Smiling's Sake!

2007-04-12T15:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, I was forwarded this story and even though you may be rolling your eyes and wanting to click to something else, give this a try. No one's died of laughter, joy or too much love and I hope that this story adds to at least one of those categories for you today. We also recommend honestly answering the question at the end either in journal, blog, internal or external form. Oprah had a show about happiness yesterday and how it's all about perception....more on that idea later, for now, enjoy the story:

The House of 1000 Mirrors

Long ago in a small, far away village, there was a place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors. A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the house, he thought to himself, "This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often."

In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again."

All the faces in the world are mirrors. What kind of reflections do you see in the faces of the people you meet?

Japanese Folktale

PFLAG and a Catholic Family on Oprah

2007-04-11T10:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was national siblings day, apparently. I learned this from seeing Oprah's show yesterday. On it, she rolled video with an old film look showing photos from the '60s and '70s of a Catholic family of 8 from a small town who had tablefuls of cupcakes, two parents who loved each other and as Oprah said, June Cleaver must have lived in that house. An excellent approach to drop the bomb that 4 of the 8 siblings had come out in adulthood as gay. One of them is now the Executive Director of PFLAG, Jody Huckaby.

They talked about how the first brother came out in a letter while attending seminary to go into the priesthood. He was telling his family he was gay and that he was leaving seminary. The family did not take it well at all, especially the parents. For holidays, it was the elephant in the room that nobody talked about. Then, one by one, three more brothers came out. Two of the straight siblings were on the show to tell their story of how at first they rejected the gay brothers. One sister kept her kids from her brothers...the fear of the "gay influence" or the misinformation that being gay is somehow contagious like a cold. Side Story: This reminds me of someone I know who has been married to a man for over a decade and 98% of that marriage she's had a female love on the side. She mentioned once that with all her time with straight people, raised by straight family members, it definitely wasn't making her straight.

Anyway, so that was the sister's freak out. She eventually began praying (aka surrendering by releasing the outcome) and realized she needed to "stop judging and start loving". The audience applauded her. During her confession, she admitted it was her issue...she was worried about what others would think as she was a big player in her Church.

An older brother believed that they were choosing the lifestyle...and finally after brother #4 came out, he finally released that lie and recognized it is who they are. Now, they sit on the couch next to Oprah together on an episode called "Super Siblings".

We were thrilled to see Jody up there and having the story of religion and homosexuality told in a human being form. We partner with PFLAG and are thrilled they got a plug on the show and showed their recognition of the close tie of homophobia and religion.

Referring to the Cameron posting last week, the sister and older brother believed these lies and misinformation that others told them rather than believing their brothers at first. It set the family back. The sister even said she wouldn't accept in her brother what she couldn't accept in her own children. OUCH!!

Each brother didn't know for years that the others were gay. They never talked about it even though they each knew from an early age. They faked their way through dating in high school and prom night. Then one day they had to be honest and even though it didn't go easily at first, the family is together and it's a perfect story to come from when you're the head of PFLAG. Those are the roots of understanding what other families go through.

Inch by inch, the demystifying continues in mainstream media. GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) is even starting a Communities of Faith and Religion focus. More organizations and churches are finally getting the guts to acknowledge the elephant and get involved. This relates to one of the questions Rev. Deborah talked about in her interview with us last week on how all religions need an image makeover and regrouping of what the universal spiritual principles are. Catholicism traditionally focuses on the family and the Huckaby's found their way to the underlying spiritual intention: love. As a result, thousands and thousands of families have been touched by PFLAG and Jody's work. Who says what can one person do?

Turn Up the Light, Turn Up the Love

2007-04-10T11:50:00.000-07:00

Luane and I are finding ourselves needing to renew and prep before every screening and appearance. We don't know what we're walking into...a room of friends or foes. The cool thing is the majority of people who do sit through the movie and get what the ideas and stories are about, tend to become friends even if their agenda in coming was to be the foe. We've had really wonderful audiences and not just because most agree with the message of the movie, but people do relate to the movie in one way or another.

We recently received a letter from a woman who came to a screening:

"I enjoyed seeing the film for the first time and really learned a lot. Listening to some of the people interviewed made me realize again how important it is to support my
transgender child (19 yr old female-to-male) and try to educate others about GLBT [people] and how they struggle unnecessarily to gain rights that we all should have."

This is an excellent example of renewal, of constant renewal. She had a choice to renew her beliefs, expectations and whatever else challenging her when she learned of her child's situation. She's lucky the child told her, most parents aren't seemed as safe enough to be honest with and therefore friction and distance in more than one area of the relationship is instantly introduced.

This woman chose wisely in renewing her mind. Paul talks about it in Romans 12:2:
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." (NIV)

What's the patter of this world? Fear. What's God's Will? Love. Fear is the absence of love, therefore love is all there is. We're meant to be on a journey and we only get anywhere by renewing our mind and using the standard, "is this of love? or is this of fear?" moment by moment, choice by choice, thought by thought.

Our movie, the stories told in the movie, our upcoming conference (online registration begins Tues. May 1st!!), our monthly free teleconference interviews...all of it comes from love.

Fear is like darkness, it doesn't really exist, it's just an end to the continuum of love. So, for example, darkness is not in itself made, it's just the low volume of light. Ride the continuum of light like a dimmer switch, and the light erases the dark.

Fear in itself does not exist. It's an illusion just as darkness is. Fear is just the low volume of love. Turn up the volume of love on anything you think you fear and the fear is erased.

Check out our movie and get on our eblast list, see the metanarrative message of turning up the light and turning up the love in all areas of your life. Thank God for constant renewal. Whew.

Easter is About Constant Renewal

2007-04-09T10:13:00.000-07:00

Luane and I had the great fortune to attend Easter service at Rev. Deborah Johnson's church. Rev. D. is featured in our movie and was our special guest last Thursday for this month's God, Gays & You Live Interview Series. If you couldn't make the call, we have a streamed recording of it at www.godandgaysthemovie.com/archive. Next month our guests are ex-Exodus leader and author Darlene Bogle and social justice activist Dottie Berry.

Rev. D., who heads an omnifaith church, came from all kinds of angles when describing the history of Easter: why it jumps around in the calendar year, the roots of the name Easter (fertility: use of the bunny and egg as symbols), how the Catholic church created the holiday...it was fascinating. She broke out a concordance and talked about how Jesus wasn't a Christian, the roots of Easter based in the Hebrew word Shalom. She also mentioned Shalom is the root word to the Arabic term Muslim. Her messages are recorded on CD every week, you can order a copy of the message from Inner Light Ministries, they have a mail out program so it doesn't matter where you live. We encourage you to check out her Easter message. You'll hear Valerie Joi Fiddmont who is her partner and in our movie, sing and lead her choir as the musical inspiration.

Rev. D. is all about peace. Peace between us, between countries, and within ourselves. She looks at all the different approaches to God, expressions of worship and doesn't get caught up in the differences and judge which is "better" or "more right" than others. She looks at the intentions behind them. What is the universal spiritual principle behind Easter? Constant Renewal.

Last week I wrote about how quick we are to get ticked off in traffic if someone cuts us off, going from good to bad, and yet we consider ourselves incapable of changing something bad to good for ourselves quickly. We have trouble working out, eating well, getting sleep, alleviating stress healthily, erasing smoking and other coping mechanisms from our routine...and then we just deal with the egregious consequences when they do eminently show up.

What I got from Rev. D.'s message was this idea of constant renewal. That it's never too late. Jesus was killed. He resurrected. Many Christians stop at Good Friday and forget there was a Sunday. He was renewed. Our cells in our body renew all the time, we don't have the same body we had a month ago. Our thoughts are renewed by our choosing. They don't happen TO us, we choose them and can renew our mind anytime, at any point and the only time that exists is NOW. It's always now.

I look at my surroundings, my little pouch on my stomach that I can't seem to get rid of, the leaves that stubbornly won't rake themselves on our deck and I now recognize them as past decisions, past choices. And I can renew my thoughts NOW and change the circumstance now.

Well, there's a part 2 to this stream of consciousness that I'll continue later. For now, and I mean now, ride the wave of constant renewal. Feel it. Think about it. We're constantly coming to forks in the road, so renew in the moment and see how just changing a variable here and there will already send you off to a different and more beneficial result.

"This Cubicle Supports Gay Marriage"

2007-04-05T14:08:00.000-07:00

At our appearance last night, some friends came who I've known since my pre-movie days when I worked on-air and in promotions for radio stations around the Bay Area. These guys knew me before, during and after my struggle and have stuck by me. We've stayed in touch, sharing news of other friends who have moved around the country, and I got an update of one DJ that spun my head.

I shared an office with a woman named Phyllis West, that was her on-air name actually when I was the Promotions Director for a rock station. She was the Promotions Director for our sister station, a classic rock format. This was a time in my life that I thought I had everything in control. I had the handsome boyfriend, the degree, the church, the Bible study groups, the job...and was a rather quiet person. Little did I know that I was quite shut down from my emotions.

When Phyllis was hired and I had to split my big office in half to make room for her, I was in for the ride of my life. Phyllis was Jewish, a big partier, crass, loud, opinionated, had sexual encounters I couldn't believe...and I loved her like a big sister. She adopted me quickly as she saw this quiet, mousey Christian girl getting run over by male rock radio types.

We stayed close after I left radio and she changed stations. She broke the rules to run an interview with Luane when Intentions premiered, she broke the rules when she believed the rules were stupid. She was such a strong, full of life personality, I can't believe she's gone.

My friends told me last night she passed away from a rare form of muscular cancer in Connecticut (she had been DJing in Tennessee most recently).

Phyllis was only 44. She owned ferrets. She was bluntly honest about everything. She had strong principles and ALWAYS stood up for what was right. She new people in the S&M community and told me all about it: the culture, the safe words, the rules. Who is unabashedly honest like that? She smoked, she had beautiful eyes, she kept the same hair cut for ever, she once did a body wrap to impress a guy and lose a pound before she saw him and gave me all the gory details of being mummified with ziploc bags on her feet and hands to catch the released toxins liquifying out of her body. She said she looked like a giant ace bandage with glasses.

Phyllis West loved me without judgment. She showed me when I was going through my struggle that straight folks can be trusted and they can and will stand up for gay folks. They will do the right thing. Fortunately, I told her often how much I appreciated her in my life and how much richer it was because of her. She told me often how much I meant to her in teaching her that not all Christians are weird. We loved each other because of our differences, she showed me it is all a matter of maturity and reciprocated appreciation.

Oh, how I miss her. I was planning to see her in May when we will be in Tennessee for a visit. I was in Illinois when her funeral arrangements were being made in Chicago, I didn't even know it. Recently, I've had a number of friends lose someone close to them but I haven't lost anyone close to me in several years, I never would have thought it'd be Phyllis I'd be mourning next.

Thank God we told each other every time we talked how much we appreciated each other. Thank God. The loss still hurts, but I tell ya, every time I meet a new challenge, I'll think of her. She never backed down. She was never afraid and good for her...because of that, she lived fully in her very short life. Go big or go home. Live out loud. Always do the right thing. Thanks Phyllis.

Here's an excerpt of her last email to me. May we all have these people in our lives:

Love you both and wish you all the goodness in the WORLD!

I have your invite on the outside of my cube along with a big sign that says 'THIS CUBICLE SUPPORTS GAY MARRIAGE." I will tell you that I get many, many eyebrow raises as people in this conservative forsaken state pass by. I can't believe I live here.

Love you honey...always your friend.

Phyll

Early Mornin', April 4, A Shot Rings Out...

2007-04-04T13:55:00.000-07:00

On this day, 39 years ago, Martin Luther King was shot and killed. We're doing an appearance and screening tonight in the same area where we premiered to celebrate one year of God & Gays, and it'll be a great homecoming. We're holding it at a high school theatre in a town that has had more than its share of controversy around the high school starting a GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance). The community from nearby areas including the regional PFLAG chapter stepped up big and marched and paraded in pride and solidarity.

This particular area is demographically biased to Catholic, Caucasian, nuclear family. There's a lot of money, excellent educational (only a few minutes from Stanford) opportunities and the streets are quaint and clean. It's quite an ideal area. It's beautiful.

Which usually makes me more nervous. What's hidden behind the painted doors? What's NOT being addressed? What's in denial, being ignored, repressed and oppressed? Sometimes I'm more comfortable and safe in areas that have their hearts and opinions on their sleeves, at least I know who I'm with and where I'm at and where the nearest exit is located.

We know that equality for gay folks in being open in the schools is a place of contention. It's a wound that local heroins like Ruth Gibbs seek to heal. She and many others know that a wound doesn't heal by being ignored. It needs attention and nurturing so it can heal itself.

We hope that having our anniversary screening in their town brings more of that healing, the same healing MLK sought decades ago. We are still dealing with the same hurt and pain he devoted his life into healing. We're still here so many years later making another mistake with another segment of society.

I do have a dream. One where gay and straight students can live in harmony in their schools, that homophobia and folks calling others sinners is as intolerable as the KKK has become. They were once socially acceptable and paraded down streets openly. It was individuals expanding their hearts both in and out of the KKK that changed their ideals' social acceptance. As a bunch of individuals, we make up the society and therefore make up the rules. As quick as it is to get ticked at someone who cuts you off in traffic is as quickly we can change our minds about fear and misunderstanding. Just choose love and live it through in action. Especially on a day like today. Help break the cycle and let this be the last generation to deal with discrimination.

This is the crap we have to deal with daily...

2007-04-03T14:06:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. I was forwarded this excerpt from Christiangays.com talking about no matter how defrocked Paul Cameron is, he's still spilling out the most absurd "research" and passing it off as truth. We've mentioned him before and for more of his background, read Rev. Dr. Mel White's new book, Religion Gone Bad.

Some people wonder why we come out to people, why we mention our sexuality at all. If we didn't, who knows how many people would be running around actually believing outright lies like those that come from Focus on the Family, Exodus International and Cameron. Since we've been deep into research for doing the movie and basically living in this country, finding out that more info is released of greater and greater absurdity just makes me laugh now. It's become such a joke. I'd be laughing longer and harder if this kind of info wasn't believed and therefore used against other people.

This kind of stuff makes us question what is real, what is truth and who can we trust? Here's the filter we use: God is love. If any info, belief, behavior, etc. is intentioned with love, then okay. If in anyway it's coming from fear which is the absence of love, then it's gone, it has no value or purpose. Poof.

I only have so much energy in a day, it's like a bank account and where I spend it shows what I care about and what will feed me and others. I support what supports me. Cameron's findings don't support me or anyone but those who choose to live in perpetual fear. So, why do I post this? Because it took me a while to get to this place of understanding and I know I would have liked knowing what was being said out there about me and my "peeps". While reading these findings, think of the info in context of being in a parody skit, or in the Onion or the Daily Show. Then you'll see just how ridiculous it is. You'll see it for what it is and not let the fear set in.

The one thing that is accurate is that some gays would live a lot longer, but not for his stated reasons. There'd be a higher percentage of gay people in society if there wasn't hate crime, gay bashing and suicide as common practices. Think about it. The genocide has been occurring for decades and decades.

"EARLY GAY DEATH SYNDROME" - MORE FRAUDULENT "RESEARCH"

Excerpt:

Unfortunately, the fraudulent use of counterfeit science is not illegal in the United States. If it were, Dr. Paul Cameron, the head of the Family Research Council would have been imprisoned many years ago. And despite the fact that he was officially expelled from the American Psychological Association in 1983 and officially condemned by both the American Sociological Association and the Canadian Psychological Association, Dr. Cameron is still allowed by law to present himself as a credentialed and published psychologist. (He received his PhD from the University of Colorado at Boulder in 1966.)

So why should you care? Because Dr. Paul Cameron is the leading scientific expert on homosexuality in the eyes of many Republican judges and lawmakers, Christian fundamentalists, "family values" organizations and conservative media.
. . . . .
Cameron has now documented Early Gay Death Syndrome (EGDS). According to this new research, which Cameron claims is the largest random sex survey ever conducted, the oldest male that could be found who engaged in homosexuality was 54 years old and the oldest female was 49. According to Dr. Cameron the reason for this is because the average life span of a homosexual is 20 plus years shorter than for a heterosexual.

Read the whole article at
http://www.queersig hted.com/ 2007/03/23/ early-gay- death-syndrome/

Beyond Ex Gay Conference Coming in June

2007-04-02T14:09:00.000-07:00

Howdy. So much going on these days...this is the time of the year where plans are announced for big events and conferences. Soulforce and BeyondExGay.com have teamed up to hold a conference at UC Irvine in California on June 29-July 1.

If you're familiar with Darlene Bogle's story from our movie, you'll understand what the ex gay thing does to people and, in Darlene's words, "doesn't ever take." People instead spend years denying their homosexuality and repressing affection and love under the belief they are sinners and must instead surround themselves in a more cultish atmosphere and continue to pray their gay away. Never mind that there are no "success" statistics, that Ted Haggard was apparently "cured" in three weeks by a group of ministers not trained in the area and the original founders of Exodus came out and lived quite happily together in love, relationship and communion.

The Beyond Ex Gay Conference is timed and located to match the ironically titled Exodus Freedom Conference in Irvine. The Conference is put on by two people who got sucked into the ex gay brain melt and have suffered a great deal from the emotional trauma. They have courage and a great story to tell.

They consider themselves survivors of the ex gay movement. They are lucky. They are lucky they got out, they are lucky they are alive. We're lucky they are alive and got out as well, that's how more people won't make the same harmful mistakes. So check out the conference, share your stories if you got involved in the ex gay groups around the country, network, come together.

If you can't make their conference, stay tuned to hear our announcement for our conference as we'll have Darlene Bogle present and she'll have a special break out group just for those who have indeed survived ex gay programming damage or are currently involved and seek options.

Transitioning City Manager in Florida in Transition

2007-03-26T14:25:00.001-07:00

There's an interesting situation going on in Largo Florida these days. 48-year old Steve Stanton has been the city manager, and a good one, and he was outed as planning a sex-change operation in 2008 and beginning to live as a woman pre-op this summer. It threw the city residents and employees into a tizzy and he's been fired from his job. But it's okay, his contract says he can be fired from his job without cause at any time. Sounds like a crappy contract. Always read the fine print! It's one of the reasons we are self-distributing God & Gays, "standard" contracts are usually (not always) obscenely bias to the interests of the Goliath and it's up to the Davids to have the lawyer or lawyer-like knowledge to fight the uphill battle to fairness. Can you imagine how much money, time and a better working relationship it'd be if contracts started off being fair? I digress. Being a producer, I read a lot of contracts and it's not my favorite part of the job so when I see someone so overtly screwed by a line in a contract that shouldn't be there anyway because it's not fair-minded, I get riled up.

There's great debate around the City Manager ordeal. This guy has done a good job. Steve living and looking like a woman shouldn't affect his job at such a level to lose it entirely. I wonder what he was thinking as he lead up to the announcement of his plans. He had to figure he may not be welcomed and celebrated, even though his decision to become more of who he is shouldn't be judged by others as it has nothing to do with them. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing to do with them. Maybe he had trust and faith in the good of people like Anne Frank. Maybe he came to the surrender that he knew he needed to live openly and honestly to who he is, give others the chance to learn, love and grow from the opportunity and just see what happens.

I'm not shocked he was removed from his post, although he doesn't deserve it. Had he not been outed, had he always felt like a man inside and was contented by his gender identity, he'd still be merrily rolling along at his job.

But at least he had the guts to risk the publicity, the slurs, the ignorance, the lack of acceptance and understanding in order to be more of who he is. Fortunately, Equality Florida, churches and others have stepped up in support for Steve Stanton. He knows there's a segment of society that "gets it", well, maybe not all get it but we don't need to in order to support him and his courage. His situation is a testimony of what each of us must do to be more of who are. Maybe it's not a sex-change for you or me, maybe it won't be so public and there won't be hearings deciding your fate, but it still takes the courage and that's what matters. Ya gotta respect Steve.

Do you have the guts to live your life fully? I can safely bet he's already feeling happier and more relief at the most public time of his life. He's now aligned and will most likely only get stronger. Good for him, good for us all. Feel free to email comments of support to Largo city council and officers for Steve and his situation. It's heartbreaking to see that 7 people can make the call on such important decisions and 5 of them voted fear-based. Ugh. Here's to focusing on what we want to have happen...thank God for those two who voted for her!

Queer Youth Are Human

2007-03-22T11:01:00.000-07:00

Around the country, there will be marches by GLBT youth and their supporters to several state capitols on Monday March 26th. It's happening in California and sponsored by Equality California. It's fun here in California right now as we have the most equality-supporting state assembly in a long time and they are reviewing several bills inching the state towards equality for GLBT folks. However, we have an actor as our governor and regardless of how his wife feels, one of his staff's orientation, the movement of the people in California, the wake of Newsome's marriages in San Francisco and his own touching letter ad supporting equality in last year's Human Rights Campaign gala program, he plans on vetoing marriage equality.

Luane and I recently attended a Lambda Legal function in San Francisco and in the midst of the yummy quesadillas and offering my name tag to Kevin, the ED of LL since we couldn't find one for him, I asked anyone who'd listen if there's been a possibility to have the open and affirming churches band together like the evangelical unsupportive ones have and counter sue the measures to vote in discrimination at the state and federal level.

What shut Newsome's marriage licenses down was suits by conservative church interest groups. So, where's the open and affirming church interest groups to counter? Why do the "no's" get a louder voice? Why were they able to stop the marriages when there was so much obvious support? Why didn't the voices of love and equality prevail?

I asked my sister if she'd sing a song her husband and friend wrote called "Human" at our upcoming conference. She was into it, her husband was cool with it...and the friend said no because he didn't want the song associated with the movie. I guess a song called "Human" has no place with our movie. Hmm. I sniff a pattern here.

I bring this random story up to show that even though majority ruled and it was ruling from a loving place, the fear-based, lack of understanding single voice won. We won't have "Human" sung at our conference, the positive, healing, compassionate message of the song will go unheard.

I actually get why the open and affirming, progressive, equality-minded churches aren't suing. That's not who they are. They don't spend time that way because suing is fear-based. As I've mentioned before a quote from Howard Thurman, "No one ever wins a fight" and they get that fighting isn't Jesus-like, it's not "Christian".

So, the squeaky wheel still gets the oil in the legislative world and the queer youth have to march to help shape their future to make the world a better place than they've found it.

They are focusing on the change they want to see. They are focusing on what they want to have happen and aren't cowering to circumstances. We encourage you and remind ourselves that in any way we can, we must support the Yes, support the queer and allies that say "yes, I am Human".

Just, please, say something!

2007-03-21T08:59:00.000-07:00

I'm blessed with many people from around the world forwarding links to articles, videos, blogs, etc. to help us keep our ear on the ground of what's going on in the reconciliation movement. Our biggest concern is how people are being affected by the discourse. There's lots of people talking, but who are the listeners and what are they doing with what they hear? Is it helping or harming? Is it building people up, or breaking them down?

We were perusing through YouTube, read some articles about the "revolutionaries" of evangelical Christianity and finally caught up on an Oprah episode from December on amazing family stories. These seemingly disparate mediums had one common theme that jumped out at me.

There was a lot of talk...and nothing was actually being said. Why was that?

For example, there's a Joel Osteen video on YouTube where he and his wife are asked by Larry King their thoughts on homosexuality and what they'd do if/when one of their kids came out to them. Their answers did involve verbal response but the body language and lack of quality or depth of the answers was more emphasized.

On the Oprah episode, 14 Christian families in North Carolina adopted several orphans from Liberia while the children were in a traveling choir. No doubt the act is noble. When Oprah was wanting to learn how the culture shocks were dealt with, what the parents hoped for the children given this opportunity to live in America, etc....the answers were so on the surface, we learned nothing. I felt like they either hadn't thought much about it, or very deeply, or didn't want to tell the truth and only talk about God's nudge to adopt these children. It felt as shallow as asking them to tell me about the Bible and their answer would be "it's a good book."

This is something I've noticed for decades about people in general and something I self-check and make sure I'm working on. I used to teach a critical thinking course on the media. For a course with such subjective grading criteria, the only time an answer was flat out wrong was when there was no thought or effort behind it, when we learned nothing from it, like the Bible is a good book, the movie was "cool", and "I dunno, I just liked the TV show, it was good."

Sure, we don't have to analyze everything, but I do think it's worthwhile to challenge or at least pause once in a while and excavate where our beliefs come from - if they are really ours or are they our parents, or our friends, or an institution like church or government. God speaks to us through our intuition, which is our individuality. Do we tell the truth of our thoughts when we speak, even if it's good stuff like learning how Caucasian American families adjusted to African, Liberian teenagers in their home? Are we too much in the habit of saying what we think others want to hear, will approve of, will be the Christian answer, will be the "right" answer?

Owning our own beliefs and not having to tap dance or pretend when asked good questions worthy of thoughtful and sincere answers, builds us up and teaches others. So, I pray we shed the parroting, and speak thoughtfully so we can all learn something once in a while. I just want to learn from these articles, videos, blogs, I want to be fed nutritional meals of authenticity and wisdom. And I hope this blog is helpful, I hope it builds you up, I hope it feeds you like it feeds me.

Sexual Energy Meets Spiritual Energy

2007-03-20T10:24:00.000-07:00

I was sent a quote that I wanted to share with y'all:

"Sexual Energy and Spiritual Energy are identical Energy. When you are tuned in, tapped in, turned on--that's the "turned on". When Source Energy flows through you, it flows through you. You cannot separate one from the other."

This quote hits our message right on. There's a part in the movie where Mel White says "come out, come out, wherever you are" and then describes how yes, by being honest about who he is and accepting himself, he lost a great deal personally and professionally. AND he gained so much more. He's since re-emerged as a fantastically successful author who's writings like Stranger at the Gate has literally saved hundreds and hundreds of lives. He says in the movie, you become the greater live-r, the greater creator, once we get on with who God made us to be.

I try to back up this point at our Q&A appearances. I talk about how I need everyone in that audience to turn down the volume of drama (as Rev. Deborah says, "drama is optional") in their lives and get on with the work we are here to do. We are here to live big, not play small. We are here to be a benefit, not a hardship to society...and ourselves. We are meant to, as my grandfather put it, "leave a room better than we found it". The more we put that mission off, the more society will dis-ease and deteriorate. It's totally reversible, we just have to choose to live out loud.

In a puritan society that either embraces the purity and judges others on it or rebels against it, the quote pasted above is a simple reminder that God made us together as one. Rev. Deborah talks about "the only thing that needs to be healed is the SENSE of separation". The separation between us is not real, it's perception. The separation from God is not real, it's perception. The separation within our sexual and spiritual selves is not real, it's perception. Everywhere around us is oneness. The sooner we get this, the sooner us and the world are healed. It's really not anymore complicated than that. That's it. The answer to all our questions is just love. The rest is drama. Enjoy being together, inside and out.

Join us with Rev. Deborah Thurs April 5th 5pm PDT/8pm EDT LIVE on a teleconference call from the privacy of your own home. To register, go to www.godandgaysthemovie.com/conference.

Senate Bills in Salem

2007-03-14T16:23:00.000-07:00

Luane and I just returned from Salem, Oregon where Willamette University hosted God & Gays and our Q&A event. We had a great time, the rain actually took a break, which is odd as there's many jokes about Oregonians rusting in the summertime. I was born in Portland, Oregon, lived in the Portland suburb of Milwaukie for some of my childhood. It was a fantastic trip for me and well timed.

Recently, Luane and I have been clearing and organizing our garage to make way for our new family member, the Toyota Prius. I've been going through a bunch of boxes containing the remains of my childhood and adolescence. It's wild to see some of those photos, read those notes from Chemistry and watch my handwriting morph to the small print I do today.

To visit Oregon and see some of our family's stomping grounds...Lew's Dairy Freeze on McLoughlin near the Bomber restaurant and see our favorite Chinese restaurant as an empty building now that the owners have passed away...has been in some ways healing and in some ways feeling proud of my past because it made me who I am today.

I visited the Church of Christ where I was baptized at 12. I asked one of the women there how the Church of Christ is involved and handling the reconciliation dialogue and she said "we aren't." So, I asked how that's working for them, "not so great." I mentioned the stories I've been told of Harding University students committing suicide over the pressure of their beliefs and their orientation. She mentioned she's lost some friends the same way for the same reason.

I was actually inspired. The woman was kind and she was courageous. She reminded me that facts change. Facts are a snapshot in time and "this too shall pass". Her church is transitioning to being more authentically welcoming and becoming more contemporary in its style and outreach. It's a fantastic start.

I felt a shift going on in Oregon while we ran around the state, visited folks at the grass roots level and met people along the way. Currently, there are two bills in the state legislature. One about domestic partnerships and one for adding sexual orientation and gender expression as part of discrimination protection. Currently, a gay man can be fired from his job, refused housing, etc. just for being gay. At night, after the screening event, Luane and I were winding down and flipped through the TV channels. We stopped when we saw the local community station airing the hearing of SB2 which is the discrimination bill. We listened to arguments pro and con. It was fascinating. All the clergy we saw attend were for the allowance of sexual orientation being included. One minister said he felt the state government needed to lead the way for the churches as churches are historically the last ones to catch on to equality, civil rights and acceptance. Churches are the slowest to get God's message. Something funny about that.

Earlier in the day, Luane and I spoke in a Rhetoric of Religion class. This was really different than other classes we've spoken in. Our talk was more about how the messages around the topic are communicated and why. Being a media theory prof in the past, I loved it. Several guys stayed back after class and we had long talks, sometimes that's our favorite thing to do. We do most of the listening and in some cases, we're the first to hear from a student that they're struggling and just want to talk about it, just tell someone they feel safe with.

It's common our movie and event brings people out of the woodwork, out of the closet sometimes just because they finally have open support and a safe place to go. The Q&A crowd was very cool and gave us a standing ovation at the end.

Oregon's got it goin' on and I'm proud to be an Oregonian.

Challenges or Chances?

2007-03-08T14:46:00.000-08:00

As you know, we've been in the mega planning stages for God & Gays: The Conference 2007, "Unity Is Our Identity" event coming this summer. It's been painful to not tell you all the amazing speakers we have...and the musicians too, wow! We're only a few weeks away from making our announcement and opening up registration. Hopefully, you've been saving that vacation day and set aside some moola for airfare and hotel. You have to be at this event, it's truly one of a kind. And it's been built with a lot of love from a lot of people, just for you.

By planning the conference, we have had tremendous success in getting people to appear. People from all walks of life have stepped up and shown their energy and support and when we see and get to feel that warmth, we know we're doing the right thing.

Then there's the times where things are going so smoothly...and then a hiccup. For example, to help keep the costs down and be able to publicize the Conference the way we're planning, we've needed to hold a few fundraisers. We're seeking people who get what this event will do in people's lives, who get the vision of providing such unconditional support. We're looking to bridge a gap, not only with the movie but also the Conference. There's conferences, curriculum, organizations, etc. that approach politics, law, pastors, denomination leaders, business leaders and thank God for them and the work they do. The area we can serve is providing safe space for the silent and struggling, for their parents, for their colleagues, their neighbors sitting with them in church and for the straight but not narrow supporters to come and show their strength.

The hiccup we've been experiencing lately resembles the challenges we had when making the movie. Corporations and business support and cheer us on, but feel they can't publicly support or help provide backing. We made the movie from church, individual and credit card money. We were determined to tell this story and have accumulated a great deal of support since it's been made. People seem to get it after it's done...like when I've finished doing the dishes and Luane comes in and asks if she could help...a little too late, but the intention is received.

Now, we're in this stage again of starting something new and the same challenges arise...businesses still are shying away, etc. Like completing the movie, we'll continue to forge on and hold this Conference. It has to be an option for people. What other options are there? Exodus International and Cross Ministries have continual one day conferences at churches that attract thousands of people. They recently had Phoenix, AZ buzzing.

If people really think their only choice is to just pray harder and numb yourself to a spiritual zombie in an unhappy heterosexual marriage, it's just nuts and I can't sit by and let it happen. I know we can reconcile, I know God made us this way, I know God wants us to live fully, honestly and completely to our potential and spend our energy giving to others and making this a more beautiful world versus wallowing in drama and self torture victimization.

So the movie is more than a movie to us. These hiccups, these challenges, these "no's" are just "okay then, next!" chances. The conference will happen. It'll be affordable to attend. It will blow your mind. It'll change your heart. It'll help all of us be more of who we are.

Please be in prayer for us throughout the rest of the planning stages. We feel so blessed to have this chance, to have this opportunity to serve in this way. Thanks for being with us and if you're wondering how you can help, the best thing you could do is share this blog, our web site, the link to purchase the DVD with everyone you know. If you're in chat rooms, bring up the movie and how people can get it. If you are in social networking groups, tell your network, if you belong to a church, get an insert in your bulletin...this is how you can help us. This is how you can help us, help you (to quote Jerry MacGuire). There are no challenges before us, only chances. Thanks for taking this chance with us.

Wanna Talk to Rev. Deborah Johnson?

2007-03-07T12:15:00.000-08:00

Thanks to everyone who joined us last week on our first God, Gays & You Live Interview call with Luane and I. The questions were great, we hope something we said was helpful and informative. We didn't mention Dotti Berry and her arrest at Focus on the Family because we thought you'd prefer to hear the story from her mouth directly!

Dotti and her partner Robynne will join us for the May call along with someone who used to indirectly work for Focus on the Family, Darlene Bogle. Darlene just published her long-awaited follow up to Long Road to Love which was written when she worked as a leader for Exodus International (which is supported by Focus on the Family). Darlene has lived a lot of life since those days and her story is captivating. You hear some of it in our movie but to learn more, check out her new book, A Christian Lesbian Journey.

In April, we will have the one and only, Rev. Deborah Johnson on the conference call. Many of you have mentioned how she affected you through the movie, some have said you'd do anything just to say thank you to her, for her words touching you so deeply and changing you.

Now's your chance. Join us Thursday, April 5th 5pm PDT/8pm EDT for a one hour exclusive interview and Q&A session with "Rev. D.". We'll also officially announce our conference line up, location and dates. You gotta be on this call, there'll never be another one like it! Luane and I will take your questions over yahoo! IM and ask them for you to Rev. D. during the call and if time permits, we'll open up the lines and take your verbal questions or comments.

The whole year of the God, Gays & You Series is all scheduled and it's all for you. Subscribe to the Series today: www.godandagaysthemovie.com/conference. As a subscriber, you'll get access to the recorded version of the call to download and keep.

Hope you can join us...I CAN'T WAIT for Thursday, April 5th. Talk to you then!

Our 8 Mile

2007-03-05T13:24:00.000-08:00

As you know, Luane is training for a marathon for the Leukemia Society's team in training. I was able to join her last weekend during the "buddy run". Keep in mind, I played softball, volleyball and basketball in my youth and although I've been raised around a bunch of long-distance and marathon runners, I've not been one myself.

However, my native American grandmother did give me the name "Gazelle". I have a picture of a cartoon gazelle on my cell phone, it's a great reminder...that I have long legs.

One of the workshops I teach is about getting out of our comfort zones. Now, I'm big on practicing what one preaches so to run with Luane during the 8 mile buddy run was a big step out of my comfort zone. The most I'd ever run at once was 4 miles, and that was just a couple of months ago.

When we showed up to the stretching area to begin the buddy run, I couldn't believe where we were and the trail we were to take. Where we live, we have beaches and mountains. This run was in the mountains. No joke. Not only was I expected to run 8 miles at 7.30am on a Saturday, but in the mountains. Starting at the bottom. Winding around to go back up again. Twice.

Fortunately, I didn't head trip for long. I just stretched, let the mountain be a mole hill and started running. And I'm still alive and can walk. I did it, I ran 8 miles and Luane who just a few years ago was on her back from five car accidents in one year, ran 8 miles too.

So, Luane and I are taking on all kinds of comfort zone breakers in our personal and professional life (see the consistency blog below), we encourage you to do the same. It's fun and we can all use a little more fun.

Blogging on Olivia

2007-03-01T15:29:00.000-08:00

Great news...Olivia Cruises is starting a social networking site and they've asked us to be featured blogging columnists. I'll be doing most of the blogging a couple days a week, Luane will dictate her parts (I type faster) as the blog will be more broad than this blog, we'll talk about films, filmmaking and well, whatever we feel like talking about I suppose.

The site is in beta now, the blogs will go up the beginning of April. Stay tuned and we'll let you know when it's live. Be assured you don't have to be a woman or even gay to be on the site. It's an equal opportunity site of course. Hope you'll participate and enjoy the new Olivia site!

You Say It's Your Birthday

2007-02-28T17:53:00.000-08:00

Today, I turn 38. I remember on my 30th birthday...I was so pissed. Not in a drunk way, I've never been into drinking, but in the ticked off way. I liked being in the 20-something category and was mad I was now 30. Then, I realized a very important fact of life...at this moment, I'm the youngest (biologically) I'll ever be again. I am older than I was five minutes ago, and so on.

This a-ha has helped me every birthday...I'm so young right now...and now....and now....and now. Makes me stay present...and as they say, we call it present because it's a gift.

I look at my being mad at being 30 and wish I was 30 again. This reminds me of the story about the 95 year old woman who said, "oh to be 70 again.". It's all relative, isn't it.

So, for your birthday, hug your mom and thank her for going through hell to have you on this day. I crack my mom up every year when I say thank you to her as I usually celebrate her on my birthday. I had the easy part I figure.

I was born 3.33am, late by a month apparently, already tall right out of the womb and a pisces which helps me understand why my work is my life and my life is my work. Well, I read that on some astrology site anyway.

Happy Birthday to you, whenever it is. Make sure to celebrate you, we are to be our own biggest fans. I'm off to eat Italian food and a dessert thing called a "pazookie"...so typical of Luane and I to eat something with such a bizarre name....of course, it includes a chocolate chip cookie, 2 in fact. Go big or go home. :)

Consistently Inconsistent

2007-02-27T16:51:00.000-08:00

Howdy folks. One of the things I'm continuing to improve in my life is consistency. This comes to mind immediately as I blog for the first time in forever it seems. I miss it actually. I'm in my element when I write (sometimes stream of consciousness in all honesty) blogs, articles and just about everything. It comes with the cost of sitting at a computer however. We're filmmakers, we like to be up and about...using clothespins to hold up gels for lights (called C-47s in "the biz"), eating pizza inbetween takes and waiting for the plane over head to go by so audio is happy.

The other time I feel in my element is when we're doing a Q&A after a screening, teaching at a workshop, and participating on panels. I LOVE it. I taught for 8 years at a university and sometimes I'd only walk into the classroom with a topic and I'd end up with the best discussion and epiphanies I could share...never could happen when I planned it out. It's when I feel most connected to God, actually, which is probably why I'm so happy doing it. I always pray before we start that what is said is what is supposed to be said and always out of love and courage to be authentic. If you've come to a screening, hopefully that resonates with you and your experience with us and the movie.

The reason I mention my moments of being in my element and consistency is because I had a meeting with Rev. Deborah Johnson (she's in the movie) and we had an incredible talk about a million things and one of them was consistency. She helped me realize that when I look at the life stuff I don't enjoy as much and the times I worry or doubt or go chasing after outcomes I seek, I'm making something else my God. She mentioned that when I'm writing, when I'm doing public speaking, that's when I'm making God...God in my life. That's when I am trusting, when I have faith and it has always worked out for the best.

By not taking that faith, that trust, that connection with me in the rest of my life, I'm therefore disconnecting and placing faith in something or someone else...which leads to disappointment, fear, and more. It's like a universe safety measure...make something else your focus and it won't work...guaranteed. Rev. D. talks about how we as humans are charged to "tend the garden" and be careful to not run around and say "we do God's work". God's work is God's, it's not ours. We're to do what it is before us to do. What a relief, huh? As a result, we fit into the rhythm of life as God's work flows through us when we make ourselves available for it by not making our job, our movie (maybe that's just me), our plans, our mate the most important aspect of our focus as it drowns under pressure.

So, in the spirit of what Valerie Joi reminds us in the movie and what Rev. D reminded me yesterday, consistency is the key. Remember how you feel when you're in your element...and take it with you wherever you go.

Luane's a Marathoner in Training

2007-02-24T14:04:00.000-08:00

Last week, Luane and I went to my Grandfather's memorial race in their small cowboy town here in California. My grandfather started this race when the town library was having financial difficulty and couldn't buy anymore big print books. Well, my grandmother, the avid reader and wise native american owl she was, read those big print books. They weren't just for her either, she'd read them out loud and record them so my grandfather and his traveling insurance salesmen friends could listen to them...the first audiobooks ever recorded.

My grandfather started running marathons in his sixties, was very active in the local Lions Club and a running club. He gathered his boys together and started a run for the library. After he passed - before his time - they named the race after him. We're proud as a family and reunite every February at the race. It's a special time to me.

Somehow, Luane and I missed the 1 mile run she signed up for and she ended up spontaneously running with me in the 5k. She not only was wearing her ski jacket but she also had to visit the bathroom...during the whole 3.2 miles. She did it. This is a woman who wasn't sure she could do a mile, someone who just a few years ago experienced FIVE car accidents in one year and was on her back for months.

She's truly a miracle. She rehabbed herself and just did a 5k....with a ski jacket on. While on the run, she met Team in Training members of the Leukemia Society. She was moved and fell for the idea that through a team situation, she may be able to handle a half marathon (13 miles).

She comes home, signs up with the local team, and they had been training for two months already. She shows up to the her first run with them and she runs 8 miles. No joke. In two weeks she went to "maybe I can do a mile" to running 8 miles (no ski jacket this time).

She signed up to run an entire marathon in Alaska in June. I'm so incredibly proud of her I can't contain it well. I run with her on her "buddy" runs and love being her cheerleader and number one fan. She's had this goal since last year and hadn't acted on it. Then, it ran along side of her and her ski jacket and she grabbed it.

Funny how life has a knack for showing up at the right time....here's to all the quantum leapers out there running a mile to 26 in whatever you do!