The Latest on Sally Kern Backlash

Check out the last paragraph and see what you think...it's worth the time to really look at and see where you land on feeling the level of reaction...and why. There's so much I could say on this, and it's really important to me that you drive the bus on what you believe...and again...why.

Anti-gay Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kern retains legal counsel

by Nick Langewis
http://pageoneq.com/news/2008/Antigay_Oklahoma_Rep._Sally_Kern_la_0320.html

In an escalating public battle over anti-gay comments made at a secretly taped speech, the conservative Thomas More Law Center of Ann Arbor, Michigan announced on Wednesday that it has agreed to represent Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kern in any legal cases arising from the controversy.

"Representative Kern expressed her concern that the homosexual agenda was destroying our nation, and that young school children were being indoctrinated into believing that the homosexual 'life style' is normal," said a Thomas More Law Center news release on Wednesday. "Her comments caused some of the nation’s largest homosexual groups to target her for political annihilation."

"Representative Kern will not back down, regardless of the attempted hate-mongering intimidation by these national homosexual advocacy groups," added the firm's President and Chief Counsel Richard Thompson of the "courageous Christian woman." "Their actions are right out of a play-book developed by radical homosexual activists in the 1980s to manipulate and intimidate the majority of Americans into accepting the normalcy of the homosexual life style. (sic)"

An IRS-designated 501(c)(3) organization, Thomas More runs on individual, corporate and foundation donations and does not charge for its services. Its aim is to "[defend and promote] the religious freedom of Christians, time-honored family values, and the sanctity of human life through education, litigation, and related activities."

On Tuesday, about 300 people rallied outside Oklahoma's state capitol to protest Kern's statements and demand an apology. The crowd included LGBT advocates seeking to meet with the lawmaker, who was personally invited to the rally by Oklahoma City resident and retired United Methodist minister Rev. Jim Shields, joined by Rev. Loyce Newton-Edwards of the United Church of Christ, also president of Oklahoma City's PFLAG chapter.

"I'd have no problem meeting with ['two or three' representatives of the gay community] next week when I have my lawyer," Kern told Tulsa World on Tuesday.

Kern's comparisons of gays to cancer, charges of "indoctrination" and opining that gays posed a worse threat to the United States than international terrorism have garnered both praise and ire in the public square after the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund's "We're Listening" campaign brought it to light.

Portions of the speech follow below:

Kern has defended her free speech rights and refused to apologize, saying that she was not engaging in "hate speech." Rather, she says, she was holding true to values that helped her be elected to public office.

"Most Oklahomans are socially conservative and believe marriage is a sacred institution, the union of one man and one woman, and that the traditional family is worth protecting and preserving," said Kern in her March 10th public statement. "When I campaigned for office, I promised my constituents to stand up for those values, and I do not apologize for keeping my word."

"In recent days," said Victory Fund President and CEO Chuck Wolfe on Tuesday, "Rep. Kern and her supporters have defended her freedom of speech, as though that's what millions of people, gay and straight alike, are objecting to. We are not. Rep. Kern has every right to her opinion and to express it.

"But she is also a public servant and an elected community leader whose public speeches have an impact beyond her own small sphere. If she had offered similar hateful views about African Americans, Native Americans or Jewish people, the calls for her resignation would have been swift and deafening, and from both sides of aisle in the State House. We wouldn't even be debating her speech. We'd be saying goodbye."

Originally published on Thursday March 20, 2008.

Intersections for A Girl Like Me

I just returned from Purdue University in Indiana where we made history together on Tuesday night. As part of their student diversity conference called Intersections, they broke ground and opened the dialogue on faith and sexuality reconciliation for the first time in the University's history...which dates back to the late 1800s.

There's an air of the topic being taboo if you support and accept homosexuality on campus. If someone is struggling, there's a small support group that one hears of through the grapevine on campus held in the counseling center. There's a queer student alliance which meets for mostly social reasons with apparently one member interested in advocacy. Can't blame them...even though the school is second in the nation for sheer numbers of international students, acceptance of diversity is still a challenge in the traditionally white, conservative, agricultural, Christian student body, especially when it comes to gay, lesbian and transgender students. The board of trustees doesn't support or fund a resource center where students struggling with homosexuality can safely come to for help. It's loose knit, faculty isn't involved, there's a huge hole and need for student support.

Although around the campus there's a belief that being gay isn't okay, and in our screening event, it was just the opposite. There were honest questions, honest struggles, celebrations, affirmations, support, love and call to action for people to not just watch and nod their heads...there's a real need to not only DO something, there's also the real need to BE something. Be who you are and not assume everyone is against something. We have to live FOR something, nothing survives for long when it's only against something. It's not sustainable.

I was proud, impressed and also heart broken during my visit. I heard stories of family members being rejected, the pain reverberated the room. I heard of kids staying in the closet and scared, of hating feeling they have to lie about who they are. I also met straight ally Christian men stepping up, standing with and supporting gay students. They are the heroes who are creating the climate change. It reminds me of Caucasian men and women marching with African Americans in the 1960s. It's exactly what is needed, and once again, just like the '60s, the youth are teaching the rest of us what kind of world is possible when unified.

One question I was asked was which faiths are most accepting of homosexuality. I mentioned Buddhism and then specifically mentioned Christianity at its purest form as lived out by Jesus in the New Testament (even though Jesus wasn't a Christian obviously). When Christianity is lived by the Christ Consciousness demonstrated by Jesus, seeing him role-model unconditional love and recognize every human being as a child of God, then I can say that it's a faith that is accepting. I mentioned the faith, not the followers...the followers have free will to misinterpret, play God and judge what they don't understand and miss the point to Christ's lessons. This happens often, however it's not every Christian.

I see authentic processing going with many Christians, young and older. I get emails seeking support, asking real questions, wanting to truly live with God's heart. It's tough to reconcile at first, I know, I was there. I just don't want people to do it alone. I really believe people want to do the right thing, there's a spirit of Anne Frank in me believing all people are good. I believe it's our natural state, and along the way of life, it got muddled, sometimes really really muddled. The movie and our screening events and conversations are an invitation to return to the natural state. To return to the basics. To return to love.

It's been suggested to have a message board on our website for viewers of the film to talk about how it touched them...and in some cases, saved them or a family member. I'll look into it. Until then, you have the comments option on any of our posts, you can also email our office at info@godandgaysthemovie.com to share your story.

One of the other events they held as part of the conference showed this award-winning short done by a high school student called A Girl Like Me. I highly encourage you to watch it and do something...or rather...be something after seeing it. As a media lecturer for 8 years before doing my own media projects, I find it powerful and am glad to share it with you. It's a reminder that we're all in this together...the solution is in the quality communication we share with each other.

Ellen DeGeneres Calls Rep. Sally Kern

Ellen DeGeneres Reports on Teen Killed for Being Gay

I just wanted to thank those of you who watch Ellen, the talk show hosted by Ellen DeGeneres. Because of the success of the show, she's able to help get the very serious word out about something as tragic as this:


What I hoped this clip would show is what happened before they went to commercial. The cameras started swinging and panning across the audience as they not only clapped in support for what Ellen says, they also stand.

This is huge....this is the kind of support we see at our movie events over and over again, and some people don't believe us because they don't see it in the media. There is SO much support for equality, acceptance and inclusion for the gay community across the country, but the mainstream doesn't see it.

There is more support than not and it takes moments like these where power is used for good, for social change, for human enlightenment, for the benefit of society as what Ellen did that'll bring more of that already present support more into the light. Thank you to that audience for standing up and applauding.

You don't know what that means to us.

We hope you'll find small ways every day to show that same kind of effort...helping people stop saying "that's so gay", not fuel jokes made about gay people. Let the ripple of ignorance and fear stop with you.

Links:
http://www.rememberlarry.com/
http://rememberinglawrence.org/

What is "Backyard Bigotry"? Ask Oklahoma Representative Sally Kern

A couple of friends of mine, Dotti and Roby are writing a book called When Homophobia Hits Home...A Compassionate Couple's Journey to Transcend Backyard Bigotry (out in 2009). They bring up a great question we all ought to take a more deliberate look at...how are we actually still a part of the problem of inequality and not the solution when it comes to demonstrating through our behavior, words, money and votes?

One of the big obstacles could be our socializing during childhood...we weren't encouraged to talk about things, and when we did, we could be met with conflict and opposition from the very ones we loved the most. To cope with not losing those we love, we either say what we think we're supposed to or not say anything at all.

This seemingly small decision has such a huge ripple effect when it becomes the norm. We've adopted this way of handling (by not handling) our differences. As if individuality in God's creation is somehow threatening if we can't put it in a box.

One of HRC's mottos is Talk About It and for some reason it's the hardest thing to get people to do. There's such a fear of acceptance and no longer "belonging" that many choose to not, as Dotti says, "stand up and speak out." It's so harmful not only to those who need the support, but to those who don't speak. It's all stuck energy which gets released in really unhealthy ways....like what Oklahoma Representative Sally Kern showed us recently.



Her husband is a pastor. She continues to be elected. She thinks she's only talking to people in the room and would only say what she said if she believed the people would agree. No one in the room stops her. She's allowed to say what she says and it's not challenged.

I have my ancestor roots in Oklahoma. My Native American grandmother was forced to go to to an "Indian" school and to convert to Christianity. She spent most of her life very quiet. A well-read, profound woman of wisdom...with very few words. She was ashamed of being Native American and couldn't understand why my generation was so proud. Within one and two generations, we took back our pride as a people and make no apologies for who we are.

The same has happened in so many other communities, including the gay community. And why women can now vote, why interracial marriages are legal and so many other "advances" in social equality is because people started talking about it. Talking from a place of health, love and curiosity versus fear is next on the list.

People are angry with Sally Kern, the blogs and media postings say so, the fact that the link has gone all over the country and world, the overwhelming email her office has received....I actually thank her. She did us a favor in allowing the backyard bigotry to be a topic of conversation, she brought it out into the light so we can really dialog and learn from each other. Many of us in this work knows this goes on all the time, but the majority of America doesn't.

This reminds me of a friend who said to me, "you mean, people still care that you're gay? I thought that was finally over forever ago." Nope. Sally reminded us there's still a few out there who don't get it. So, let's support her in her journey of expanding her expression of love, in forgiving herself for becoming someone she doesn't want to be. Be the change we want to see and treat her with the respect and love we'd like to see from her. Let her know, and the others like her, what unconditional love feels like. If not us, then who?

Once you see the video above, Email her if you'd like at: sallykern@okhouse.gov

I Met a Woman Who Should be Dead by Now

Luane and I were invited to a gathering at Darlene Bogle's request to meet a fascinating woman named Naomi Harvey. Darlene's latest book is Naomi's life story and boy...is it amazing.

Before I move on telling of the evening, here's the description of the book, A Miracle Woman: The Naomi Harvey Story:

An exciting story of a woman who at the age of 16, devoted her life and musical talents to Christian ministries and orphan children. Who by every reasonable account should have been derailed and cursed her God when she was attacked by drug lords which left her body broken; her home burned to the ground and 2 of her 10 adopted children murdered. She was then sentenced to 17 years to life in prison for second degree murder. She was ostracized by church and family when she acknowledged her true sexual orientation. How she held on to her faith and God's love is part of the miracle you will find in these pages. Learn what has kept her faith alive and is the driving force today as she travels across country with her partner, ministering to the whole person and "Sharing Father's Heart."

When I first walked in and shook hands with Naomi, knowing some of her past, I just shook my head and said, "I can't believe you're alive and not screwed up." She laughed contagiously and so the evening had begun. Story after story she shared while we ate and laughed and awed.

Later, she broke out her pink guitar...I'd never seen a pink guitar like that in person before...and sung us a song. You can hear it on her site.

There's nothing like an in-person, private concert. Her partner did a flag routine to the song and with each of them sharing their gifts for us after being on the road touring for 7 weeks...I don't know where they got the energy.

We did a blessing dedication on the book, ate more and had a teary goodbye. To meet Naomi in person is truly remarkable. Hearing what she's been through and see with my own eyes how the only wrinkles on her face were from smiling so much...impacted me deeply. It was an honor to meet her, and I told her that. I thanked her for being such a pioneer in paving the way for our movie and for us being out more freely than she was able to be at our age.

This is truly a remarkable story and woman and I hope you'll look at her book as an inspiration and rededication that God's got your back or as Rev. Deborah says, God is good...all of the time.

Gay Teen in Ft. Lauderdale Killed Too...

February is a month of love, right? Valentine's Day, my birthday (in 2 days, yay!) and President's Day where retailers show their love by having big sales over a weekend.

Alas, not much love has been shown to the gay community this month.

On Feb 23rd, a gay teen was shot and killed 4 miles from his home in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. Read about the story here.

This, on the heels of Lawrence King in California, a blue state. On the other coast, some Floridians continue jumping on the fear band wagon of pushing a ballot measure (again) banning gay marriage, the death of Simmie Williams Jr, 17 is certainly worth real thought and our time.

Seriously, how different are these murders of these teens from the KKK killings of African Americans? People who are so angry, feel so much hate, they feel need and the right to take a life just because they are uncomfortable with how someone else is.

It's absurd.

Guns aren't the only methods of killing someone either. Words and emotions are also serious weapons, used to kill spirits and dreams. At our screening events, I often talk of the two types of suicides: the physical form which we're all unfortunately aware of, then there's the emotional or spiritual suicide. This is where people are so hurt by words and rejection, they let other people's opinion of them supersede their opinion of themselves and numb out, eventually walking around like zombies just existing through life.

Please please please be careful of what is said in your presence: Thoughts lead to words, words lead to actions, actions lead to results. Anything that happens, starts with a simple thought.

Let's take care of each other.

Call for Ex Ex Gay Artists - Express Yourself & Make a Difference

My dear colleagues, Peterson Toscano and Christine Bakke from BeyondExGay.com are seeking to show two more new artists for their upcoming art show in Memphis, TN at the end of this month.

Peterson and Christine are both phenomenally talented in their respective mediums and are passionate about creating space for other ex-ex gays to show their art as it relates to their eminate traumatic experience while in ex gay ministries and programs. They seek new artists who are ex-gay survivors or those whose lives have been *negatively* affected by the ex-gay movement (parents, friends, of those emotionally and spiritually damaged by ex gay programs.)

The deadline is quickly approaching, go to: beyondexgay.com for more information.

Submissions of all types of visual art are welcome including drawings, painting, collage, mixed media, photography, or multimedia. Please send photos of your work, along with dimensions, a brief statement about the work, and any other information by February 15th, 2008 to bxg (at) beyondexgay.com

Free Interview with God & Gays Director Feb. 7th

Our next guest for the God, Gays & You Live Interview series is Luane Beck, director of the film, God & Gays: Bridging the Gap (www.godandgaysthemovie.com). Listen to how the film was made, how she found the people in the movie who were so vulnerable and honest in telling their stories of struggle and reconciliation. Ask questions live on the call. To sign up for phone access and the special code, go to the website and get the e-blast. This is a free teleconference, from the comfort of your own home...every first Thursday of each month.

ENDA Passed Today in US House of Reps

Hopefully many of you were on the call with Harry Knox and myself last Thursday for this month's God, Gays & You Live Interview Series call. Harry is the Religion & Faith Director for HRC (Human Rights Campaign) and today they released a major bulletin I pasted below.

It was an amazing call and I've gotten several emails thanking us for having him as a guest. Be sure to join us next month to be with Valerie Joi Fiddmont...musician, gospel choir director, partner to Rev. Deborah Johnson and the woman who delivers the "a-ha" comment in our movie. Be sure you're on our email list (sign up to the right) to get the call details. As sometimes we've had recording challenges, it's best to be on the call to make sure you don't miss it!

Here's the HRC bulletin on ENDA...feel free to comment on the decision to move forward lobbying without protecting transgender people in ENDA.

The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA).

We are one step closer to our ultimate goal of ensuring that all GLBT Americans no longer live in fear of losing their jobs.

The progress we've made today is historic - it is the first time either house of Congress has passed employment protections of this kind. It took over 30 years of lobbying and grassroots political work to get to this point, and while the bill that finally passed was not the fully inclusive version we sought, this represents a major advance - and the best way to move towards our long-term goal of protecting our entire community.

HRC first helped introduce ENDA 13 years ago, to prevent workplace discrimination based on sexual orientation. This year, gender identity was added to the bill. Unfortunately, gender identity was not covered in the version that passed today, but this vote was a first and absolutely necessary step towards equality for GLBT people in the workplace.

That's why HRC joined with a coalition of major civil rights groups who declared support for the bill before the final vote, including the Leadership Conference on Civil Rights (LCCR includes more than 192 national civil rights organizations), National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees (AFSCME), the National Employment Lawyers Association (NELA), and the National Education Association (NEA).

Supporting this version of the bill was a difficult and painful decision. But, without a doubt, the only path to achieving a bill protecting our whole community was by achieving the successful House vote today. A defeat of ENDA would have set back the possibility of an inclusive bill for many, many years.

HRC remains 100% committed to doing the hard work necessary to pass legislation that protects our entire community, including transgender workers who remain especially vulnerable to workplace discrimination.

Talk with Harry Knox from HRC this Thursday

As the last week of October descends upon us, we'll enjoy "All Saints Day" this year with having Harry Knox from Human Rights Campaign (HRC) as our next guest for our God, Gays and You Live Interview Series. We'll talk with him on his experiences around the country in working queitly with hundreds of church leaders in helping them learn more about becoming open and affirming. He'll also share news from HRC's work and give us a snapshot of how culturally we're doing with moving from rejection and tolerance to acceptance of GLBT people as whole human beings. Harry is a major leader in the reconciliation movement and you're invited to submit your questions to him on how you can work with your church to become more openly accepting and loving of ALL God's creations.

We've pasted his bio below for you to get to know him and prep your questions for the call. If you're new to this series and want to be on the call, sign up in the email box to the right so you can get the phone number and access code each month. Tell your friends and family!

If you have a question for Harry, email it to us at: info@godandgaysthemovie.com

I'll talk with you on Thursday, Nov 1st 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern!

Harry Knox joined the staff of the Human Rights Campaign in July 2005. Under his leadership the HRC Religion and Faith Program has seen the creation of a national speakers’ bureau that reaches more than 10 million Americans monthly and a weekly preaching resource that provides scriptural commentary to ministers and lay people interested in an ecumenical gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender perspective on the Bible. He has also been instrumental in creating a national network for 22 progressive state clergy coalitions around the country. Knox has been featured on programs as diverse as "The Michael Medved Show," the BBC News, PBS, NBC, CBS and national and local newspapers and has co-authored an article on GLBT issues and world religions for Conscience magazine.

Knox’s prior management and advocacy experience includes having held the positions of business manager for patient services and comprehensive school health programs for the American Cancer Society, Georgia Division; director of development at Equality Florida; executive director of Georgia Equality; and program director for Freedom to Marry. He is also a former licensed pastor of a United Methodist Church in Georgia.

Under Knox’s leadership, Georgia Equality was successful in passing the state’s first GLBT-inclusive legislation, the Georgia Anti-Domestic Terrorism Act, and in obtaining domestic partnership benefits for employees at Coca-Cola, BellSouth, Delta Airlines, Atlanta Gas Light and Cingular Wireless. He was the recipient of the 2000 Cordle Award for Promotion of God’s Diversity and Lancaster Theological Seminary’s 2005 Robert V. Moss Medal for Excellence in Ministry. Previously denied ordination because he is gay, Knox is currently seeking ordination in the United Church of Christ.

Gay Around the World on Oprah Today

Today on Oprah, she's doing a show on what it's like to be gay around the world. She goes to Iran and India and around here in the US. People have asked us if we've tried to get on Oprah to tell the reconciliation story. Of course! We continue to. She has done a number of shows on different angles of the gay "issue" and hasn't yet walked in to the conversation around religion and sexuality with the message of reconciliation.

We have the talented speakers from the movie who are perfect guests, we have the movie releasing early next year to make it accessible to the world, we're ready when the producers are.

Until then, we're thrilled she continues to bring this topic and the effects on human being's lives by generations of not talking about it.

We intend on being a part of the dialogue she creates by doing shows like the one she's doing today. I encourage you to TiVO it, tell friends to watch it, share it with family who struggle to understand.

NashVegas Opens its Doors to God & Gays

Darlene and I just returned from Nashville, TN where we spent the weekend (well, Darlene spent some of the weekend in Chicago's airport stuck from weather issues). We showed the movie on Friday night and hosted our workshops on Saturday. It's our mini-Gathering event we're doing around the country. If your church or school is interested, shoot us an email and let's work it out: info@godandgaysthemovie.com.

The Friday night screening was a huge success. We stuffed the Holy Trinity Community Church (UCC) sanctuary, some people showing up an hour before to make sure they got a seat....which was very smart as we had people stuffed in the aisleways eventually. Darlene was stuck in Chicago during the Q&A which broke her heart, so I recruited the church's pastor Rev. Cyndi to join me as we were greeted with a huge standing ovation by the audience while the movie credits rolled.

I got quite emotional by the overwhelming response. Yes, we've had the blessing of standing ovations a number of times before, this time it was in the south. That felt amazing.

I've believed in Nashville in being an excellent host for our Gathering and the rest of the weekend was planning meetings around doing it again next year. I met strong and committed leaders of the community dedicated to adding reconciliation to the short list of options for Christian families in their area.

The workshops were phenomenal. The response from the participants was staggering at how much they gained from our few hours together. I could literally see change happening right before my eyes. They felt incredibly affirmed, encouraged and empowered to step up in their lives and know what to do next to live daily in the life they want to live in. I am so proud of each and every person who was there. It's not easy to face some things we've resisted and pushed down but when we start to, we see there's nothing to be afraid of and we have authentic support along the way.

I met some really strong, courageous and amazing people all weekend. I got to crash a bowling birthday party in Smyrna and earned one of my highest scores ever while being called 'hon' from the bowling alley food personnel (I eat that up!). I was taken to dinner along the emerging 'gay strip' of Nashville which is funny enough, located on Church St. Smoking is no longer allowed in restaurants and I'm SO EXCITED about that! It's the one thing I don't enjoy about traveling is trying to eat my gardenburger while gagging on smoke. The flavor just goes away. I got my hair 'did' for the screening by a gracious hairdresser from the church who wants to go to divinity school. He even filled my quota of having locally made chocolate chip cookies on every trip by sharing some home made.

I enjoyed a Sunday apres-church lunch at PF Chang's with someone who ministered with my sister in college when she was still struggling with her sexuality and spirituality. She told me knowing my sister then and the world they were a part of and recently being back in touch with my sister and having my sister be cool with her being out meant everything to her. She comes from parents who see her as an Exodus speaker one day so that's not fun for anyone.

I cannot stress enough the power and importance of straight people being out and supportive in everyday conversation...we need more shining examples of acceptance as you never know who around you you could be helping and even saving.

I also got to watch the movie Soldier's Girl about Calpernia Addams's story. I didn't realize it all went down around Nashville so watching it there and hearing from people who knew Calpernia and the club she worked at when she met Barry...getting the inside perspective of how the death and following memorial really shook the area was really powerful.

The weekend was truly amazing and I cannot wait for next year's Gathering in Nashville. Stay tuned to this blog to learn more about it as we "leak" info on it here and there...found out who will be there and the workshops we'll be offering. We are very serious about having the event perfect for the entire family, so be thinking who you want to bring and practice inviting them.

Oh, and watch Oprah tomorrow for her show on "Gay Around the World".

Mel White's Father Passes on Coming Out Day

Hi friends. A bitter sweet week....

Thursday Oct 11th was National Coming Out Day where people around the globe have all kinds of activities (showing our movie and holding discussions is among them) and spread awareness around acceptance. One of the goals is to let the millions of people across the country know who are still closeted and struggling that it's okay to be out and be who they are. For many, it's the encouragement they need to step out and be honest and authentic with themselves, keeping the faith they will weather any storm that comes their way.

Also on Thursday, Rev. Dr. Mel White's father, Carl White, died in California at the age of 94. Carl attended the premiere of our movie and even the reception celebration beforehand. He took pictures with our folks in the movie and spent a long time talking with us and the Reitan Family who are also featured in our movie. At the Q&A, we made a special introduction of him and as he stood and waved hi to the sold out and excited crowd, I started to tear up knowing how incredibly special that very moment was to be in my memory. Having Carl, a devout evangelical Christian man, be our guest at our movie which stars his son, Mel White is right up there in my most proud moments. He was incredibly kind and had a wonderfully warm smile. He was happy to be there and proud of his son. Carl's family is accepting contributions to Mel's organization, Soulforce, on Carl's behalf. We encourage you to get involved and help his legacy continue. You can read an article on Carl here.

This week also marked on October 12th the 9 year anniversary of Matthew Shepard's death. There's a lot going on at the Matthew Shepard Foundation and I encourage you to peruse what they're up to. Check out what the Matthew Shepard Act is all about too.

What an emotional week....wow....and it's leading right into our mini-Gathering in Nashville next weekend. Darlene and I hope to see you there Oct 19/20!

Is Kim MIA?

Hello! I am alive, I promise. There's so much excitement going on behind the scenes here at God & Gays, it's crazy fun.

Some updates just so you know I wasn't away on the beach in Mexico or something...we've actually been working very hard....

- God & Gays has been picked up by Indican Pictures out of Hollywood and is in prep mode for our Los Angeles release in November and then several other markets around the country in Jan/Feb 2008. They are hiring publicists so you get to know where and when you can see the movie in a theatre with other people....a very different and wonderful experience to the DVD. They are prepping the press kits, making plans, working with theatres, asked us for some photos of my and Luane's wedding (which we just celebrated our 3rd year anniversary in September) and who knows what else....

- Darlene Bogle and I are making a special appearance together in Nashville, TN on Oct 19 and 20 for a screening, Q&A and to lead our very cool interactive workshops. Darlene's workshop will be based on her Exodus from Exodus which is a great lead in for mine called "Comfort Zones Are Slow Dream Killers". If you are within driving or short flight of Nashville, I really encourage you to make the trip. It's going to be a mind and heart melding weekend. It's a great warm up for next year's Gathering.

- Luane is writing the script to our next project, we're getting close to start meeting with Hollywood reps and begin the production process all over again. We're two for two...two movies made, two movies distributed which is a frickin' excellent track record in the indy world. This next project will take this consciousness to a whole new level.

- Did you catch our amazing interview with PFLAG's power couple, Sam and Julia Thoron? You can listen to the recording on our archive page: www.godandgaysthemovie.com/archive. Next month, join us for a live chat with Harry Knox, Religion and Faith Director for Human Rights Campaign (HRC).

- Luane and I have been going through adoption prep classes, building a baby room and getting ready to be parents very soon. We decided not to carry our own and help a kid or two who's already here and needs a loving stable home. I'm nervous, but excited. My kid sister's pregnant too so we're sharing "pregnancies" together, I just don't have the daily throwing up and can keep my body shape. Pretty cool deal.

- We're making plans for the 2008 Gathering. Be sure you're on our email blast list to get information as it becomes available.

Well, I guess that's good for now. There's been a lot of amazing things going on with the Matthew Shepard Act and many many churches becoming more open and affirming every week, in every part of the country. It's good to be alive.

Democrats Appear Before Gay Audience

Last Thursday, each of the main democratic candidates came on one by one for 15 mins each to receive questions from viewers, Melissa Etheridge, Joe Solmonese from Human Rights Campaign and Washington Post writer, Jonathan Capehart. As a side note, the moderator mentioned that all republican candidates were invited to participate and none of them accepted. Even middle of the road and GLAAD news release quoted Rudy Guiliani.

The video is available online so you can still see how things went: http://visiblevote08.logoonline.com/

Out of 15 candidates, 2 support gay marriage and when you hear those 2 talk, you can see a major difference in their overall demeanor than the others. These 2 don't play politics, avoid answering questions and turn the conversation to what they want to be heard (which Obama and Rodham-Clinton were experts in doing)...as much as the others anyway. Anyone, including us, who've had any sort of media coaching are trained to say what we want to be heard, regardless of what questions are being asked.

Before the event, Obama and Rodham-Clinton were on top of the poll on the HRC site, even though neither of them support gay marriage. Since the forum, it's Obama and Kucinich on top and thank God the message got through that the gay community has a real ally. Kucinich DOES support gay marriage AND every other issue that brings equalization to the gay community.

My favorite question was why does the gay population support Hillary and Barack when neither of these candidates support them back on gay marriage. It's a good question. My concern is that it's so because we're used to settling for the crumbs, we're used to compromising something to get anything. With this approach, it's why we're still in this stuck, unequal space in society. We aren't claiming our rights as whole and complete people.

We all teach people how to treat us. If we support people who still see us as less than or unworthy of full human rights support to play a political game, that's what we'll get. It's a no brainer to me.

I once asked my classroom at a University I taught in for 8 years that if Gandhi were running for president, would he have a shot. The class quickly and easily said no. Then I asked if they would want him as president and they all said a resounding yes.

There's such a disconnect of what we want and what we think others want. We have been voting to what we think other people will do so we jump on a bus and "vote for the lesser of two evils". Well, that hasn't worked so great for us lately.

We're supportive of Dennis Kucinich and it's an easy decision to make. Why? He's working with author Marianne Williamson on the US Dept. of Peace for one thing. This is a department that focuses on peaceful resolutions and putting government money and energy to peace, versus what NONE of us want which is more war, violence, death with the current focus and spending on the department of "defense".

Another reason is that he truly "gets" equality and is unafraid of political backlash. Watch his piece on the link above. Look at where he stands, go see him at a town hall. He's the kind of leader who would actually do the right thing for the right reason...because it's the right thing to do. He's love based and not fear based.

He's the closest we have to Gandhi running for the presidency right now and I encourage all of us to vote the way we feel we need to, because it's the right thing to do. We create our realities. We individually control our choices. Don't let the media, the double-speak, the family, spouse or friend influences override what YOU want. Don't jump on the bus this time. Try something different. Take your space, step into your power. Historically, it's those that take unpopular positions that are the most authentic and heart-based.

If you're in the gay community or straight ally supportive of the gay community, there's only two choices for the democratic party and that's Dennis Kucinich and Mike Gravel. They are both supportive of you, of who you are and what you stand for, so please support what supports you.

Presidential Candidate Debate on LGBT Issues August 9th

Human Rights Campaign (HRC) has organized a democratic presidential debate in Los Angeles Thursday, August 9th to see everyone's perspective on LGBT issues such as marriage, adoption and other political hot topics. For info on how you can watch the forum, go to HRC.org.

Last night Luane and I had dinner with a few very strong supporters of our movie and got to talking about the candidates and where they are in advancing equality for LGBT people politically. It was an interesting conversation as none of us were excited about any of them as each are finding ways to play the fence.

Which is exactly what we don't need from potential leaders of the "free world". I taught a management class for 8 years at a University and as anyone knows about leadership and what has actually been Bush's success has been that he's been a strong leader by being decisive.

Yes, he makes really really bad decisions causing a lot of pain, death, suffering at home and around the world, but he does make them and stands by them. That rallies people, when they can stand by a strong leader. Hence him (sort of) winning again three years ago. People still felt obligated to stand by their leader.

Having the democratic candidates not be decisive, not stand up for doing the right thing like allowing equality across the board for all Americans...tax paying, voting, productive members of the community, teachers, cops, doctors, lawyers, moms and days who also happen to be LGBT, is absurd. It's already guaranteed in the constitution so what's so fuzzy about it? Well, each have their take in claiming they are Christians. Unconditional love is already in the Bible so what's so fuzzy about it?

Here's an excellent opportunity for the candidates to do the right thing, recognize that equality for LGBT people is actually very prevalent and wanted in this country, we've seen it over and over ourselves on our touring and be a strong leader decisively supporting LGBT equality in all its political ways.

So, let's see what happens. The use of fear in the church, religion and the Bible has been very effective the last two races, wonder what would happen if we used the love side of the same things for 2008. Watch the debate and see what you think.

Peggy Campolo live interview TONIGHT

Hope you all can join us tonight for a live call with Peggy Campolo. An evangelical, mother, wife of popular speaker Dr. Tony Campolo, Peggy sticks her neck out as a Christian GLBT advocate. She accepts homosexuality not in spite of the Bible but because of it. Hear her story, how she and her husband disagree on this major issue, what it's like for her to speak out and why she's so committed to doing so.

This is part of our monthly teleconference series the first Thursday of every month with some of the biggest and most influential folks in the reconciliation movement. To get the access code and phone number every month, sign up for our e-blasts in the right column of the blog. For tonight's call, write us at info@godandgaysthemovie.com.

Join us!

Independence Through Apology - Ex Gay Leaders Say They're Sorry to Gay Community

The Ex Gay Survivor's Conference last week was historical in many ways. Not only was it the first time ex gay survivors were proactive in setting up a gathering for other ex gay survivors around healing, sharing of stories, and empowerment but to also put a face and voice to the emotional trauma many of them have faced...never mind the suicides they know of from friends in the programs who couldn't make it through.

Last week, history was made by ex-Exodus group founders, President and leaders coming together to issue a formal statement of apology. They apologized for being a part of a paradigm and organization that made people feel not enough, broken, sinful, not accepted by God...most Christian's worst fear. They are sorry for their role even though at the time, they believed like the others, what they were saying. Fortunately, these people are huge examples of how when leaders finally get conscious of the consequences of their actions, they step back, take responsibility and choose to be vocal. They aren't flip-floppers as some would spin, they are sorrowful for their role and speak out for reconciliation, as they have now found for themselves.

Just imagine being 16, been told from the pulpit, within family and friends how gross and sinful homosexuality is...all the while scared to death that you're learning your gay. At first you don't tell anyone. Maybe you go to a pastor who tells you to go to Exodus which promises "freedom from homosexuality through Jesus Christ" which assumes you are gay because you aren't a good enough Christian. Ouch.

You start going to weekly meetings, lying to people you love of where you go on Thursday nights for hours. The struggle is on your mind constantly. It's hard to concentrate on school or what you want to do for a career. Relationships are distant, you're afraid of intimacy, it's too scary to get too close to anyone, they might find out who you really are and reject you cold. So you pretend to be social when you feel totally isolated and alone...for fear of being isolated and alone if they knew. Catch 22. At least you have control, you're the one choosing to be alone, not them, right?

Your parents finally get involved when you tell them you've been in meetings for 2 years and nothing's changed. They pay for you to not go to college, but to go to the live-in version for a couple of years. You try to abide by the 254 rules while living 24/7 in a house with several others of your peers dealing with the same thing...and you're all the same gender, separated from the opposite gender. You are told to tell your most shameful sexual sin in detail in front of your parents and everyone else's during the parents, friends and family members weekend. Now your parents are brought into the mire and emotionally devastated. Where did they go wrong with you? You feel shame, guilt, embarrassment wanting all this to just end.

Two years turns into 12, hundreds of dollars turn into several thousands. Alas, you still are who you are. You decide you've done all you can to please God except one thing; accept how he made you and live your life as he's designed it, no longer listening to others tell you how you're supposed to live your life. You realize there's no such thing as should, normal or supposed to...or even try. Try is just another term for confusion, stuck, indecisive, non committal. You step up and step out of the programs.

Then, you learn of this statement of apology. The fact that someone in the program is sorry for putting you through all that suffering for no reason, to fix what isn't broken in you. You're out 12 years of your life, thousands of dollars. You're angry, maybe you've left religion as a result, you might get involved in more self-destructive behavior because it's all you know to do from your ex gay experience...you get into drugs or alcohol, become promiscuous, become anti-social and other coping mechanisms people choose when they feel directionless and incomplete.

The apology hits you hard. It brings up feelings and emotions you've been trying to silence externally. It asks you to forgive those who wronged you. The range of emotions sways and then you realize you just got the biggest gift anyone could have given you. Someone who harmed you actually said they were sorry. How often does that happen in our culture? What a gift. You decide to accept their apology. It frees you like you've never felt before. You feel like a backpack of weights are taken off your back for the first time since you were 16. You get it. You come to self-acceptance finally. You don't hate yourself and beat yourself up anymore. You start to love yourself and in turn are now available to love others healthily. The smile returns to your face. You finally feel happy. No more struggle. Sure, you could have done this without the apology, but this apology sure is nice, isn't it.

I'm proud to know and have in our movie one of the authors and signatures on the apology, Darlene Bogle. There's a series of photos and YouTube videos from the Conference event, you can see how it went down for yourself. The apology spans across all of us who have or had a struggle around homosexuality and religion. Forgive them, for they know not what they do....

Sabrina Matthews Benefits God & Gays July 17th

I'm happy to announce Sabrina Matthews, from NBC's Last Comic Standing and Wolfe Video's Outlaugh DVD will be headlining a fundraising event for our God & Gays Gathering. Here's the gist:

An Evening with Sabrina Mathews to Benefit the God and Gays Gathering

NBC's Last Comic Standing and out lesbian comic Sabrina Mathews performs her hilarious comedy live Tuesday, July 17th 7pm at Club Savoy in Santa Clara, CA. Catch her in an intimate setting all to benefit the God & Gays Gathering, a live event to bring people together in conversation and healing around homosexuality and religion.

6.30 pm - Doors Open
7 pm – Event Begins
- Local singer/songwriter Derek Jameson performs
- Oakland’s acoustic guitar player and singer Karen Soo Hoo performs
- Sabrina Mathews performs
9pm - Event Ends

Tickets available online and at the door: www.godandgaysthemovie.com

Club Savoy
3546 Flora Vista Ave. Santa Clara, California 95051
Phone: (408) 244-6909
http://www.clubsavoy.com/


Derek Jameson, for those of you who have the movie, is the guy who sings the song over the ending credits. The song, Whisper, was custom written by Derek and his lyricist Adis Eminic just for the movie. It's really an amazing song. Karen Soo Hoo has contributed music to past projects for Luane and is amazingly talented and a wonderful human being. We're lucky to work with folks of this caliber.

So, if you're in the San Francisco Bay Area or know people who are, let them know about this event. It's basically going to be very very fun. See you there and Happy Fourth of July.