First Stop On Tour, Starting off Easy in...Virginia

Charlottesville, VA was our first stop on the fall 2006 tour. We did the red eye flight into Dave Matthews Band territory and was welcomed with Joy, our host, holding up a sign with our names on it. We had to take a picture by the baggage claim with her since we’d been in town two seconds and learned by the signage and flags all over the airport what “country” we were in now.

After some rest and a yummy stop at Panera, we arrived at the afternoon screening. It was the middle of day, didn’t know how much attendance we’d have but Kim the intern had this beautiful spread of veggies, drinks and cookies, the whole campus would be fed. The time came, soda cans popped, lights dimmed and the show went on. For the Q&A, we were told by students that there were a number of conservative Christian pastors in the audience, but they left immediately after the movie. There were also members of the campus republican club there. We loved it. Diversity and inclusion cross party lines…it’s unfortunately not as common, but it does and should exist. We had many straight allies in the audience and I made sure they felt the love we have for them in their showing up and caring about their fellow classmates not getting equal treatment.

The second showing was later that evening and the room was standing room only. Students sat on tables and leaned against walls to see the movie. Many people from the community came and we got to hear some really hard and some wonderful stories. The harder ones included a woman who was raised in what she called a “Christian cult” in New Mexico and was programmed at an early age that if she left, she’d go to hell. Fun, huh? Happy childhood memories... She still left but also still lives in fear that God not only may send her to hell for leaving the cult but now because she’s been in a long term relationship with another woman. She said the movie helped heal some of the hurt she’s been holding onto and it showed her not to stereotype all Christians as unaccepting. It’s true, there is so much support by mainstream Christians for GLBT people than what is said publicly (due to their fear of being socially punished) we cannot get stuck in the mire of lumping all religious folks into being uninformed and unaccepting. It’s just not true. We get emails and people (whispering) to us how they support equal rights but feel they can’t be outward about it in their church or community. This is a sad current state of affairs of course, as the negative stereotypes then stay alive and well about straight Christians and people and the subject continues to stay stuck. But, they are there, we promise. We hope those folks will see the movie and get the message that not only do gay people need to be honest and open of who they are but also straight allies must come out and be open and honest of their support and acceptance (mind you, I’m not saying tolerance…tolerance is unacceptable…and I hope you enjoy the double entendre of that statement).

Back to the cult woman, she mentioned if the unmarried gay and straight person’s marriage amendment passes, her and many others like her – gay and straight – will have to move out of the state. The amendment will prohibit further equal rights including hospital visits and she has health issues that should the time come, her partner will need to be there to make decisions on her behalf. They’ve been together 20+ years and there is no one else to be with her. With this law, her partner wouldn’t be allowed to be with her nor have power of attorney, etc. as she’d not be considered “family”. Think about that for a minute. What would that be like if you were in her situation? If you are straight, been with your spouse for 20 years and he/she couldn’t make decisions for you and that person knows you best? Some second cousin you barely know has more authority? Just pause and soak in that scenario for a minute. Remind me again how this promotes family values...

We also got to enjoy a good talk with an atheist bioengineering student who kept asking “who cares if it’s a choice or not?” as he’s really into the science of it all. It was great talking with him and it helped renew our faith in this collegiate generation that they too don’t all fall into the stereotype of being sheep who just memorize and are lethargic. We’re meeting outstanding minds and personalities and are better people because of it.