Ellen DeGeneres Gets Engaged...and So Do We.

There's been nationwide hoopla over the California Supreme Court favoring the decision to not allow discrimination of sexual orientation to be used in legal marriages. In my world, everyone is talking about it. The celebration, the tears of joy, more heads held up high, more kids finally feeling their same-sex parents are getting the credit for their relationship they so very much deserve. It's been incredible.

I was told of a minister I know who at an early age really believed that with this culture, there'd never be an African-American president nor marriage equality in her lifetime. So you can imagine what this year has been like for her...

I truly believe in people, it's my inner Anne Frank. I do have faith that people do want to do the right things, be loving and understanding as they seek that for themselves as well. I'm proud of California.

Many people have asked if Luane and I are going to get (officially) married now that we actually can legally. So, just to let you know, yes, of course we are. We already are married anyway, all the hard work of the relationship, the huge commitment ceremony we had in 2004...all that's done. Getting a marriage license is the easy part. We'll probably do it in a private setting since that's Luane's preference (mine was the big party...we complement each other well).

The trippy part of all this is marriages will begin to be legal on June 16th which is one day after Luane's birthday and the anniversary of my middle sister's death. That date means a lot to me and now it means even more.

The Human Rights Campaign is circulating a petition for Million for Marriage. If you'd like to sign it and be a part of the growing number of people coming out of the woodwork to support those of us in long-term, committed relationships towards marriage, please go to:
http://www.hrcactioncenter.org/campaign/millionformarriageac. There will be a reserved place for you at the banquet table in heaven. Thank you for standing for equality of all people, just as Jesus did.

Some of you may have heard or seen Ellen DeGeneres make the big announcement on her show last Friday. My favorite part of this is the audience reaction which causes Ellen to get choked up and Portia dizzy with laughter. It's a beautiful scene...enjoy.

So, honey, how does it feel to be equal?

Today the California Supreme Court voted in favor of allowing gay and lesbian people to marry; the mostly Republican court voted for marriage equality. Even the Governor is supportive of the ruling and says he will not support a state constitutional amendment if it comes to that in November.

I've lived to see it and feel it.

When my email was barraged by well wishers, congratulations, news bulletins and impromptu party invites to celebrate tonight when the announcement was made, I just smiled and said thank you. I then turned to Luane and said, "so honey, how does it feel to be equal?" It was actually kind of a joke because we've always felt equal. No one can "make" us feel unequal anyway. It's just an awesome feeling that others are finally getting it too.

What's so wonderful about this announcement is that our government, at least in California, is finally catching up. It's finally recognizing people as people. It's finally opening its heart and teaching those who have yet to catch up to what equality looks like legally and how the world will in fact not come to an end.

There will be no world destruction, nothing negative will happen except hopefully it'll encourage people who've been internally homophobic towards themselves or lying to themselves and those around them to be open, honest and authentic. And still, I feel that's hugely positive, even if painful in the short term. I've been through it, I know the peace that comes with reconciliation of sexuality and spirituality.

The courts setting this example can only protect kids like Lawrence King, can only increase the number of marriages between people who do actually love each other - thereby reducing the number of marriages between people where one or both are doing it out of duty and self-oppression, denying their same sex attraction and then dragging their partner and eventual kids into their baggage. As Jason Stuart says at the end of our movie, "C'mon straight people, if you let us marry each other, we'll stop marrying you."

Over the years I've been quasi keeping score of who will be last institutionally to be open and affirming and it's been neck and neck with churches and governments. With the United Methodists at the end of April still not living up to their own slogan as a denomination, "Open Hearts, Open Minds" and the California Supreme Court filled mostly of Republicans decision, gotta give major points to government in this round. Churches are falling behind, but they always have a chance to gain footage again, especially with two Democratic candidates both deflecting and saying "it's up to the states" and a Republican candidate just flat out against marriage equality.

Even with the UMC ruling, there are many many UMC churches making their own statements to their local community. In Hoquaim, WA last Saturday night, Darlene Bogle, Roby Sapp and Dotti Berry showed our movie and led a fantastic discussion afterwards to a filled room. The host of the screening was the local UMC. People, when given the chance, will authentically open their hearts and open their minds.

In the words of Rev. Deborah Johnson, "you can't stop an idea, who's time has come."

Thank you, California. Maybe I'll not have to lie on my tax forms anymore and check the box saying Single...thank you for the opportunity to be more of myself.

More info: Yahoo News

May Day: Today's National Day of Prayer

It's May Day, for several reasons.

1) It's May 1st, so...it's also the first Thursday of the month which means we have our free, live teleconference call tonight with all of you who have signed up on our email list.
2) It's National Day of Prayer and
3) The United Methodist General Conference just voted to keep in language excluding GLBT members and leaders as they are deemed "incompatible with Christian teachings"...at least for another four years until they vote again. They'll one day be embarrassed by that decision like churches have been in using the Bible to support slavery and other oppressions through history. There where a host of contradictory votes, see this press release for more info.

Like you, I get sent all kinds of e-newsletters, email blasts, article links and I'm grateful people help us keep in the loop on the temperature of our United States...I'm very grateful actually. I then get to experience what's most important to people.

As much as the articles, links to videos, etc we receive to be a bummer to read like #3 above, it's no longer in my nature to really give it a lot of attention and energy. I do occasionally find myself impatient however.

I know in my soul the UMC Conference and others who are like-minded are on a losing side. It's just a matter of time. There's no winning here in excluding people. It never works. No discrimination, no exclusion, no us vs. them, no paradigm of "you must change or go away so I'm comfortable" has ever lasted, it's always been defeated once people start choosing love rather than fear. And this will too. This is what I pray for on this National Day of Prayer. For all of us to be enlightened and empowered to become more of who we are and meant to be on how God made us to be.

And for patience.

With California and other states possibly again having to deal with annoying ballot measures on banning gay marriage - an argument and use of tax dollars that even Republican Governor Schwarzenegger calls "a waste of time", the race is neck and neck of which behemoth will come in last: the government or the church in the obvious "letting its citizens be themselves without the intervention of a mis-interpreted Bible". Separation of church and state, right?

So, all this to say I invite you to join us on our call tonight with Ann Craig from GLAAD as we talk about the media representation of the gay community and how it affects public opinion. I spent 8 years as a media management, theorist and production instructor at a college in California so I'm extra thrilled to have this conversation.

Remember, it's the first Thursday of the month so that means it's God, Gays & You Live Interview Series time. Hope you can join us and if not live, then check out the recording tomorrow at: www.godandgaysthemovie.com/archive.

Rep. Sally Kern Meets with PFLAG in Oklahoma

Thank you to each of you who were on our live call last Thursday night for our most recent God, Gays & You Live Interview Series call. Our guests included Dotti Berry and Roby Sapp from StandUpSpeakOut.com who are the authors of the upcoming book, When Homophobia Hits Home…A Compassionate Couple’s Journey to Transcending Backyard Bigotry.

We also had the great fortune to speak with Steve Davis, an Oklahoman who's been active in the different actions at the state capitol and a local United Methodist congregant.

We talked about the recent results of people's thoughts and words with the teen murders of Lawrence in California and Simmie of Florida. Then we traced back and discussed the comments leaked on YouTube from Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kern (see blog postings below for info).

We wrapped the call with Mary Lou Wallner and Dotti attending the upcoming Soulforce action in Ft. Worth, TX at the general conference of United Methodists.

It was a fascinating discussion for all involved. We offered ways we can help, no matter where we are now, to prevent further thoughts, beliefs, and words leading to devastating actions. We had several spiritually-minded responses and gave perspective to how it feels to being on the receiving end of such talk around gay people being "the greatest threat" and a "death knell" to this country. Makes ya feel warm and fuzzy inside, huh.

In addition to a pro-Sally and anti-Sally remarks rally in Oklahoma City recently, Kern met with local PFLAG members including credible local ministers. They came out of the meeting pleased with how the meeting went, feeling hopeful and saying Kern didn't believe people ought to be fired for being gay, something that is allowed by law in Oklahoma and many other states like Ohio to this day.

Then, there was an article in The Oklahoman saying Kern's words were spun by PFLAG. I don't know why she'd take offense to something so humane for a public official to say as protecting people at work, but she did...at least according to the media.

We all know the media is known to make mistakes, God knows how many typos, misquotes and really weird "facts" have been added to interviews done with Luane and I around the movie. We just chuckle at some of the creativity some journalists have when reporting a story based on a live interview.

Whether or not the media was 100% accurate on Kern's thoughts on meeting with PFLAG, there's now a recording available of the meeting available for you to listen for yourself. It's 40 minutes long, enjoy.

In Honor of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr - (Jan 15, 1929 - April 4, 1968)

This year feels different as MLK's birthday and death anniversary rolls around. At Rev. Deborah Johnson's Inner Light Ministries in CA, Luane and I had the honor to work with Dr. Vincent Harding at her conference titled Time To Break the Silence....Again. Dr. Harding was the speech writer for King's "Vietnam Speech" and recently released a book called, Martin Luther King: The Inconvenient Hero. I got to meet and talk with Dr. Harding, who is one of the best listeners I've come across.

There's such a strong peace and groundedness about him. When you introduce yourself to him, he wants to know your full name, your mama mama's name and where you came from. He looks you in the eyes, listens and asks questions. He made me still and present. What an excellent teacher...he taught without teaching, he was just being.

As if that wasn't enough, he requested a copy of the movie and is very supportive. He signed my copy of his book, "For my sister, Kim Clark, With appreciation for your work in the spirit of King. Go Right On."

Then, I asked to give him a hug. He said, "You must!" When I hugged Dr. Vincent Harding, he not only wrapped his arms around me tightly as if saying a prayer for me and giving me strength, I realized I was in the same supportive arms as Martin Luther King once was. I was with a man who was right there in the middle of it all in the Civil Rights Movement. As he held me tight, I felt the transfer of memories, of pain, of peace, of patience from his experience. I flashed the emotional roller coaster ride he has lived...and survives as a clear man of spirit and peace.

It reminds me of a daily affirmation email I got this morning:

What if the one person who you believed liked you the least, Kim, loved you the most?

Yeah, "Hate when that happens...."

It sometimes happens like that, Kim.

On this day, I ask us to reflect on where we've been and where we're going. What kind of consciousness are you spreading each time you get in your car, around your kids, in the grocery story line, how you speak to your partner and alone and quiet in your head.

To piggy back on an earlier blog in taking care of each other, I ask today that you take care of yourself. You are always the beginning.

The Latest on Sally Kern Backlash

Check out the last paragraph and see what you think...it's worth the time to really look at and see where you land on feeling the level of reaction...and why. There's so much I could say on this, and it's really important to me that you drive the bus on what you believe...and again...why.

Anti-gay Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kern retains legal counsel

by Nick Langewis
http://pageoneq.com/news/2008/Antigay_Oklahoma_Rep._Sally_Kern_la_0320.html

In an escalating public battle over anti-gay comments made at a secretly taped speech, the conservative Thomas More Law Center of Ann Arbor, Michigan announced on Wednesday that it has agreed to represent Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kern in any legal cases arising from the controversy.

"Representative Kern expressed her concern that the homosexual agenda was destroying our nation, and that young school children were being indoctrinated into believing that the homosexual 'life style' is normal," said a Thomas More Law Center news release on Wednesday. "Her comments caused some of the nation’s largest homosexual groups to target her for political annihilation."

"Representative Kern will not back down, regardless of the attempted hate-mongering intimidation by these national homosexual advocacy groups," added the firm's President and Chief Counsel Richard Thompson of the "courageous Christian woman." "Their actions are right out of a play-book developed by radical homosexual activists in the 1980s to manipulate and intimidate the majority of Americans into accepting the normalcy of the homosexual life style. (sic)"

An IRS-designated 501(c)(3) organization, Thomas More runs on individual, corporate and foundation donations and does not charge for its services. Its aim is to "[defend and promote] the religious freedom of Christians, time-honored family values, and the sanctity of human life through education, litigation, and related activities."

On Tuesday, about 300 people rallied outside Oklahoma's state capitol to protest Kern's statements and demand an apology. The crowd included LGBT advocates seeking to meet with the lawmaker, who was personally invited to the rally by Oklahoma City resident and retired United Methodist minister Rev. Jim Shields, joined by Rev. Loyce Newton-Edwards of the United Church of Christ, also president of Oklahoma City's PFLAG chapter.

"I'd have no problem meeting with ['two or three' representatives of the gay community] next week when I have my lawyer," Kern told Tulsa World on Tuesday.

Kern's comparisons of gays to cancer, charges of "indoctrination" and opining that gays posed a worse threat to the United States than international terrorism have garnered both praise and ire in the public square after the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund's "We're Listening" campaign brought it to light.

Portions of the speech follow below:

Kern has defended her free speech rights and refused to apologize, saying that she was not engaging in "hate speech." Rather, she says, she was holding true to values that helped her be elected to public office.

"Most Oklahomans are socially conservative and believe marriage is a sacred institution, the union of one man and one woman, and that the traditional family is worth protecting and preserving," said Kern in her March 10th public statement. "When I campaigned for office, I promised my constituents to stand up for those values, and I do not apologize for keeping my word."

"In recent days," said Victory Fund President and CEO Chuck Wolfe on Tuesday, "Rep. Kern and her supporters have defended her freedom of speech, as though that's what millions of people, gay and straight alike, are objecting to. We are not. Rep. Kern has every right to her opinion and to express it.

"But she is also a public servant and an elected community leader whose public speeches have an impact beyond her own small sphere. If she had offered similar hateful views about African Americans, Native Americans or Jewish people, the calls for her resignation would have been swift and deafening, and from both sides of aisle in the State House. We wouldn't even be debating her speech. We'd be saying goodbye."

Originally published on Thursday March 20, 2008.

Intersections for A Girl Like Me

I just returned from Purdue University in Indiana where we made history together on Tuesday night. As part of their student diversity conference called Intersections, they broke ground and opened the dialogue on faith and sexuality reconciliation for the first time in the University's history...which dates back to the late 1800s.

There's an air of the topic being taboo if you support and accept homosexuality on campus. If someone is struggling, there's a small support group that one hears of through the grapevine on campus held in the counseling center. There's a queer student alliance which meets for mostly social reasons with apparently one member interested in advocacy. Can't blame them...even though the school is second in the nation for sheer numbers of international students, acceptance of diversity is still a challenge in the traditionally white, conservative, agricultural, Christian student body, especially when it comes to gay, lesbian and transgender students. The board of trustees doesn't support or fund a resource center where students struggling with homosexuality can safely come to for help. It's loose knit, faculty isn't involved, there's a huge hole and need for student support.

Although around the campus there's a belief that being gay isn't okay, and in our screening event, it was just the opposite. There were honest questions, honest struggles, celebrations, affirmations, support, love and call to action for people to not just watch and nod their heads...there's a real need to not only DO something, there's also the real need to BE something. Be who you are and not assume everyone is against something. We have to live FOR something, nothing survives for long when it's only against something. It's not sustainable.

I was proud, impressed and also heart broken during my visit. I heard stories of family members being rejected, the pain reverberated the room. I heard of kids staying in the closet and scared, of hating feeling they have to lie about who they are. I also met straight ally Christian men stepping up, standing with and supporting gay students. They are the heroes who are creating the climate change. It reminds me of Caucasian men and women marching with African Americans in the 1960s. It's exactly what is needed, and once again, just like the '60s, the youth are teaching the rest of us what kind of world is possible when unified.

One question I was asked was which faiths are most accepting of homosexuality. I mentioned Buddhism and then specifically mentioned Christianity at its purest form as lived out by Jesus in the New Testament (even though Jesus wasn't a Christian obviously). When Christianity is lived by the Christ Consciousness demonstrated by Jesus, seeing him role-model unconditional love and recognize every human being as a child of God, then I can say that it's a faith that is accepting. I mentioned the faith, not the followers...the followers have free will to misinterpret, play God and judge what they don't understand and miss the point to Christ's lessons. This happens often, however it's not every Christian.

I see authentic processing going with many Christians, young and older. I get emails seeking support, asking real questions, wanting to truly live with God's heart. It's tough to reconcile at first, I know, I was there. I just don't want people to do it alone. I really believe people want to do the right thing, there's a spirit of Anne Frank in me believing all people are good. I believe it's our natural state, and along the way of life, it got muddled, sometimes really really muddled. The movie and our screening events and conversations are an invitation to return to the natural state. To return to the basics. To return to love.

It's been suggested to have a message board on our website for viewers of the film to talk about how it touched them...and in some cases, saved them or a family member. I'll look into it. Until then, you have the comments option on any of our posts, you can also email our office at info@godandgaysthemovie.com to share your story.

One of the other events they held as part of the conference showed this award-winning short done by a high school student called A Girl Like Me. I highly encourage you to watch it and do something...or rather...be something after seeing it. As a media lecturer for 8 years before doing my own media projects, I find it powerful and am glad to share it with you. It's a reminder that we're all in this together...the solution is in the quality communication we share with each other.

Ellen DeGeneres Calls Rep. Sally Kern

Ellen DeGeneres Reports on Teen Killed for Being Gay

I just wanted to thank those of you who watch Ellen, the talk show hosted by Ellen DeGeneres. Because of the success of the show, she's able to help get the very serious word out about something as tragic as this:


What I hoped this clip would show is what happened before they went to commercial. The cameras started swinging and panning across the audience as they not only clapped in support for what Ellen says, they also stand.

This is huge....this is the kind of support we see at our movie events over and over again, and some people don't believe us because they don't see it in the media. There is SO much support for equality, acceptance and inclusion for the gay community across the country, but the mainstream doesn't see it.

There is more support than not and it takes moments like these where power is used for good, for social change, for human enlightenment, for the benefit of society as what Ellen did that'll bring more of that already present support more into the light. Thank you to that audience for standing up and applauding.

You don't know what that means to us.

We hope you'll find small ways every day to show that same kind of effort...helping people stop saying "that's so gay", not fuel jokes made about gay people. Let the ripple of ignorance and fear stop with you.

Links:
http://www.rememberlarry.com/
http://rememberinglawrence.org/

What is "Backyard Bigotry"? Ask Oklahoma Representative Sally Kern

A couple of friends of mine, Dotti and Roby are writing a book called When Homophobia Hits Home...A Compassionate Couple's Journey to Transcend Backyard Bigotry (out in 2009). They bring up a great question we all ought to take a more deliberate look at...how are we actually still a part of the problem of inequality and not the solution when it comes to demonstrating through our behavior, words, money and votes?

One of the big obstacles could be our socializing during childhood...we weren't encouraged to talk about things, and when we did, we could be met with conflict and opposition from the very ones we loved the most. To cope with not losing those we love, we either say what we think we're supposed to or not say anything at all.

This seemingly small decision has such a huge ripple effect when it becomes the norm. We've adopted this way of handling (by not handling) our differences. As if individuality in God's creation is somehow threatening if we can't put it in a box.

One of HRC's mottos is Talk About It and for some reason it's the hardest thing to get people to do. There's such a fear of acceptance and no longer "belonging" that many choose to not, as Dotti says, "stand up and speak out." It's so harmful not only to those who need the support, but to those who don't speak. It's all stuck energy which gets released in really unhealthy ways....like what Oklahoma Representative Sally Kern showed us recently.



Her husband is a pastor. She continues to be elected. She thinks she's only talking to people in the room and would only say what she said if she believed the people would agree. No one in the room stops her. She's allowed to say what she says and it's not challenged.

I have my ancestor roots in Oklahoma. My Native American grandmother was forced to go to to an "Indian" school and to convert to Christianity. She spent most of her life very quiet. A well-read, profound woman of wisdom...with very few words. She was ashamed of being Native American and couldn't understand why my generation was so proud. Within one and two generations, we took back our pride as a people and make no apologies for who we are.

The same has happened in so many other communities, including the gay community. And why women can now vote, why interracial marriages are legal and so many other "advances" in social equality is because people started talking about it. Talking from a place of health, love and curiosity versus fear is next on the list.

People are angry with Sally Kern, the blogs and media postings say so, the fact that the link has gone all over the country and world, the overwhelming email her office has received....I actually thank her. She did us a favor in allowing the backyard bigotry to be a topic of conversation, she brought it out into the light so we can really dialog and learn from each other. Many of us in this work knows this goes on all the time, but the majority of America doesn't.

This reminds me of a friend who said to me, "you mean, people still care that you're gay? I thought that was finally over forever ago." Nope. Sally reminded us there's still a few out there who don't get it. So, let's support her in her journey of expanding her expression of love, in forgiving herself for becoming someone she doesn't want to be. Be the change we want to see and treat her with the respect and love we'd like to see from her. Let her know, and the others like her, what unconditional love feels like. If not us, then who?

Once you see the video above, Email her if you'd like at: sallykern@okhouse.gov

I Met a Woman Who Should be Dead by Now

Luane and I were invited to a gathering at Darlene Bogle's request to meet a fascinating woman named Naomi Harvey. Darlene's latest book is Naomi's life story and boy...is it amazing.

Before I move on telling of the evening, here's the description of the book, A Miracle Woman: The Naomi Harvey Story:

An exciting story of a woman who at the age of 16, devoted her life and musical talents to Christian ministries and orphan children. Who by every reasonable account should have been derailed and cursed her God when she was attacked by drug lords which left her body broken; her home burned to the ground and 2 of her 10 adopted children murdered. She was then sentenced to 17 years to life in prison for second degree murder. She was ostracized by church and family when she acknowledged her true sexual orientation. How she held on to her faith and God's love is part of the miracle you will find in these pages. Learn what has kept her faith alive and is the driving force today as she travels across country with her partner, ministering to the whole person and "Sharing Father's Heart."

When I first walked in and shook hands with Naomi, knowing some of her past, I just shook my head and said, "I can't believe you're alive and not screwed up." She laughed contagiously and so the evening had begun. Story after story she shared while we ate and laughed and awed.

Later, she broke out her pink guitar...I'd never seen a pink guitar like that in person before...and sung us a song. You can hear it on her site.

There's nothing like an in-person, private concert. Her partner did a flag routine to the song and with each of them sharing their gifts for us after being on the road touring for 7 weeks...I don't know where they got the energy.

We did a blessing dedication on the book, ate more and had a teary goodbye. To meet Naomi in person is truly remarkable. Hearing what she's been through and see with my own eyes how the only wrinkles on her face were from smiling so much...impacted me deeply. It was an honor to meet her, and I told her that. I thanked her for being such a pioneer in paving the way for our movie and for us being out more freely than she was able to be at our age.

This is truly a remarkable story and woman and I hope you'll look at her book as an inspiration and rededication that God's got your back or as Rev. Deborah says, God is good...all of the time.

Gay Teen in Ft. Lauderdale Killed Too...

February is a month of love, right? Valentine's Day, my birthday (in 2 days, yay!) and President's Day where retailers show their love by having big sales over a weekend.

Alas, not much love has been shown to the gay community this month.

On Feb 23rd, a gay teen was shot and killed 4 miles from his home in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. Read about the story here.

This, on the heels of Lawrence King in California, a blue state. On the other coast, some Floridians continue jumping on the fear band wagon of pushing a ballot measure (again) banning gay marriage, the death of Simmie Williams Jr, 17 is certainly worth real thought and our time.

Seriously, how different are these murders of these teens from the KKK killings of African Americans? People who are so angry, feel so much hate, they feel need and the right to take a life just because they are uncomfortable with how someone else is.

It's absurd.

Guns aren't the only methods of killing someone either. Words and emotions are also serious weapons, used to kill spirits and dreams. At our screening events, I often talk of the two types of suicides: the physical form which we're all unfortunately aware of, then there's the emotional or spiritual suicide. This is where people are so hurt by words and rejection, they let other people's opinion of them supersede their opinion of themselves and numb out, eventually walking around like zombies just existing through life.

Please please please be careful of what is said in your presence: Thoughts lead to words, words lead to actions, actions lead to results. Anything that happens, starts with a simple thought.

Let's take care of each other.

Call for Ex Ex Gay Artists - Express Yourself & Make a Difference

My dear colleagues, Peterson Toscano and Christine Bakke from BeyondExGay.com are seeking to show two more new artists for their upcoming art show in Memphis, TN at the end of this month.

Peterson and Christine are both phenomenally talented in their respective mediums and are passionate about creating space for other ex-ex gays to show their art as it relates to their eminate traumatic experience while in ex gay ministries and programs. They seek new artists who are ex-gay survivors or those whose lives have been *negatively* affected by the ex-gay movement (parents, friends, of those emotionally and spiritually damaged by ex gay programs.)

The deadline is quickly approaching, go to: beyondexgay.com for more information.

Submissions of all types of visual art are welcome including drawings, painting, collage, mixed media, photography, or multimedia. Please send photos of your work, along with dimensions, a brief statement about the work, and any other information by February 15th, 2008 to bxg (at) beyondexgay.com

Free Interview with God & Gays Director Feb. 7th

Our next guest for the God, Gays & You Live Interview series is Luane Beck, director of the film, God & Gays: Bridging the Gap (www.godandgaysthemovie.com). Listen to how the film was made, how she found the people in the movie who were so vulnerable and honest in telling their stories of struggle and reconciliation. Ask questions live on the call. To sign up for phone access and the special code, go to the website and get the e-blast. This is a free teleconference, from the comfort of your own home...every first Thursday of each month.

ENDA Passed Today in US House of Reps

Hopefully many of you were on the call with Harry Knox and myself last Thursday for this month's God, Gays & You Live Interview Series call. Harry is the Religion & Faith Director for HRC (Human Rights Campaign) and today they released a major bulletin I pasted below.

It was an amazing call and I've gotten several emails thanking us for having him as a guest. Be sure to join us next month to be with Valerie Joi Fiddmont...musician, gospel choir director, partner to Rev. Deborah Johnson and the woman who delivers the "a-ha" comment in our movie. Be sure you're on our email list (sign up to the right) to get the call details. As sometimes we've had recording challenges, it's best to be on the call to make sure you don't miss it!

Here's the HRC bulletin on ENDA...feel free to comment on the decision to move forward lobbying without protecting transgender people in ENDA.

The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA).

We are one step closer to our ultimate goal of ensuring that all GLBT Americans no longer live in fear of losing their jobs.

The progress we've made today is historic - it is the first time either house of Congress has passed employment protections of this kind. It took over 30 years of lobbying and grassroots political work to get to this point, and while the bill that finally passed was not the fully inclusive version we sought, this represents a major advance - and the best way to move towards our long-term goal of protecting our entire community.

HRC first helped introduce ENDA 13 years ago, to prevent workplace discrimination based on sexual orientation. This year, gender identity was added to the bill. Unfortunately, gender identity was not covered in the version that passed today, but this vote was a first and absolutely necessary step towards equality for GLBT people in the workplace.

That's why HRC joined with a coalition of major civil rights groups who declared support for the bill before the final vote, including the Leadership Conference on Civil Rights (LCCR includes more than 192 national civil rights organizations), National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees (AFSCME), the National Employment Lawyers Association (NELA), and the National Education Association (NEA).

Supporting this version of the bill was a difficult and painful decision. But, without a doubt, the only path to achieving a bill protecting our whole community was by achieving the successful House vote today. A defeat of ENDA would have set back the possibility of an inclusive bill for many, many years.

HRC remains 100% committed to doing the hard work necessary to pass legislation that protects our entire community, including transgender workers who remain especially vulnerable to workplace discrimination.

Talk with Harry Knox from HRC this Thursday

As the last week of October descends upon us, we'll enjoy "All Saints Day" this year with having Harry Knox from Human Rights Campaign (HRC) as our next guest for our God, Gays and You Live Interview Series. We'll talk with him on his experiences around the country in working queitly with hundreds of church leaders in helping them learn more about becoming open and affirming. He'll also share news from HRC's work and give us a snapshot of how culturally we're doing with moving from rejection and tolerance to acceptance of GLBT people as whole human beings. Harry is a major leader in the reconciliation movement and you're invited to submit your questions to him on how you can work with your church to become more openly accepting and loving of ALL God's creations.

We've pasted his bio below for you to get to know him and prep your questions for the call. If you're new to this series and want to be on the call, sign up in the email box to the right so you can get the phone number and access code each month. Tell your friends and family!

If you have a question for Harry, email it to us at: info@godandgaysthemovie.com

I'll talk with you on Thursday, Nov 1st 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern!

Harry Knox joined the staff of the Human Rights Campaign in July 2005. Under his leadership the HRC Religion and Faith Program has seen the creation of a national speakers’ bureau that reaches more than 10 million Americans monthly and a weekly preaching resource that provides scriptural commentary to ministers and lay people interested in an ecumenical gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender perspective on the Bible. He has also been instrumental in creating a national network for 22 progressive state clergy coalitions around the country. Knox has been featured on programs as diverse as "The Michael Medved Show," the BBC News, PBS, NBC, CBS and national and local newspapers and has co-authored an article on GLBT issues and world religions for Conscience magazine.

Knox’s prior management and advocacy experience includes having held the positions of business manager for patient services and comprehensive school health programs for the American Cancer Society, Georgia Division; director of development at Equality Florida; executive director of Georgia Equality; and program director for Freedom to Marry. He is also a former licensed pastor of a United Methodist Church in Georgia.

Under Knox’s leadership, Georgia Equality was successful in passing the state’s first GLBT-inclusive legislation, the Georgia Anti-Domestic Terrorism Act, and in obtaining domestic partnership benefits for employees at Coca-Cola, BellSouth, Delta Airlines, Atlanta Gas Light and Cingular Wireless. He was the recipient of the 2000 Cordle Award for Promotion of God’s Diversity and Lancaster Theological Seminary’s 2005 Robert V. Moss Medal for Excellence in Ministry. Previously denied ordination because he is gay, Knox is currently seeking ordination in the United Church of Christ.

Gay Around the World on Oprah Today

Today on Oprah, she's doing a show on what it's like to be gay around the world. She goes to Iran and India and around here in the US. People have asked us if we've tried to get on Oprah to tell the reconciliation story. Of course! We continue to. She has done a number of shows on different angles of the gay "issue" and hasn't yet walked in to the conversation around religion and sexuality with the message of reconciliation.

We have the talented speakers from the movie who are perfect guests, we have the movie releasing early next year to make it accessible to the world, we're ready when the producers are.

Until then, we're thrilled she continues to bring this topic and the effects on human being's lives by generations of not talking about it.

We intend on being a part of the dialogue she creates by doing shows like the one she's doing today. I encourage you to TiVO it, tell friends to watch it, share it with family who struggle to understand.

NashVegas Opens its Doors to God & Gays

Darlene and I just returned from Nashville, TN where we spent the weekend (well, Darlene spent some of the weekend in Chicago's airport stuck from weather issues). We showed the movie on Friday night and hosted our workshops on Saturday. It's our mini-Gathering event we're doing around the country. If your church or school is interested, shoot us an email and let's work it out: info@godandgaysthemovie.com.

The Friday night screening was a huge success. We stuffed the Holy Trinity Community Church (UCC) sanctuary, some people showing up an hour before to make sure they got a seat....which was very smart as we had people stuffed in the aisleways eventually. Darlene was stuck in Chicago during the Q&A which broke her heart, so I recruited the church's pastor Rev. Cyndi to join me as we were greeted with a huge standing ovation by the audience while the movie credits rolled.

I got quite emotional by the overwhelming response. Yes, we've had the blessing of standing ovations a number of times before, this time it was in the south. That felt amazing.

I've believed in Nashville in being an excellent host for our Gathering and the rest of the weekend was planning meetings around doing it again next year. I met strong and committed leaders of the community dedicated to adding reconciliation to the short list of options for Christian families in their area.

The workshops were phenomenal. The response from the participants was staggering at how much they gained from our few hours together. I could literally see change happening right before my eyes. They felt incredibly affirmed, encouraged and empowered to step up in their lives and know what to do next to live daily in the life they want to live in. I am so proud of each and every person who was there. It's not easy to face some things we've resisted and pushed down but when we start to, we see there's nothing to be afraid of and we have authentic support along the way.

I met some really strong, courageous and amazing people all weekend. I got to crash a bowling birthday party in Smyrna and earned one of my highest scores ever while being called 'hon' from the bowling alley food personnel (I eat that up!). I was taken to dinner along the emerging 'gay strip' of Nashville which is funny enough, located on Church St. Smoking is no longer allowed in restaurants and I'm SO EXCITED about that! It's the one thing I don't enjoy about traveling is trying to eat my gardenburger while gagging on smoke. The flavor just goes away. I got my hair 'did' for the screening by a gracious hairdresser from the church who wants to go to divinity school. He even filled my quota of having locally made chocolate chip cookies on every trip by sharing some home made.

I enjoyed a Sunday apres-church lunch at PF Chang's with someone who ministered with my sister in college when she was still struggling with her sexuality and spirituality. She told me knowing my sister then and the world they were a part of and recently being back in touch with my sister and having my sister be cool with her being out meant everything to her. She comes from parents who see her as an Exodus speaker one day so that's not fun for anyone.

I cannot stress enough the power and importance of straight people being out and supportive in everyday conversation...we need more shining examples of acceptance as you never know who around you you could be helping and even saving.

I also got to watch the movie Soldier's Girl about Calpernia Addams's story. I didn't realize it all went down around Nashville so watching it there and hearing from people who knew Calpernia and the club she worked at when she met Barry...getting the inside perspective of how the death and following memorial really shook the area was really powerful.

The weekend was truly amazing and I cannot wait for next year's Gathering in Nashville. Stay tuned to this blog to learn more about it as we "leak" info on it here and there...found out who will be there and the workshops we'll be offering. We are very serious about having the event perfect for the entire family, so be thinking who you want to bring and practice inviting them.

Oh, and watch Oprah tomorrow for her show on "Gay Around the World".

Mel White's Father Passes on Coming Out Day

Hi friends. A bitter sweet week....

Thursday Oct 11th was National Coming Out Day where people around the globe have all kinds of activities (showing our movie and holding discussions is among them) and spread awareness around acceptance. One of the goals is to let the millions of people across the country know who are still closeted and struggling that it's okay to be out and be who they are. For many, it's the encouragement they need to step out and be honest and authentic with themselves, keeping the faith they will weather any storm that comes their way.

Also on Thursday, Rev. Dr. Mel White's father, Carl White, died in California at the age of 94. Carl attended the premiere of our movie and even the reception celebration beforehand. He took pictures with our folks in the movie and spent a long time talking with us and the Reitan Family who are also featured in our movie. At the Q&A, we made a special introduction of him and as he stood and waved hi to the sold out and excited crowd, I started to tear up knowing how incredibly special that very moment was to be in my memory. Having Carl, a devout evangelical Christian man, be our guest at our movie which stars his son, Mel White is right up there in my most proud moments. He was incredibly kind and had a wonderfully warm smile. He was happy to be there and proud of his son. Carl's family is accepting contributions to Mel's organization, Soulforce, on Carl's behalf. We encourage you to get involved and help his legacy continue. You can read an article on Carl here.

This week also marked on October 12th the 9 year anniversary of Matthew Shepard's death. There's a lot going on at the Matthew Shepard Foundation and I encourage you to peruse what they're up to. Check out what the Matthew Shepard Act is all about too.

What an emotional week....wow....and it's leading right into our mini-Gathering in Nashville next weekend. Darlene and I hope to see you there Oct 19/20!

Is Kim MIA?

Hello! I am alive, I promise. There's so much excitement going on behind the scenes here at God & Gays, it's crazy fun.

Some updates just so you know I wasn't away on the beach in Mexico or something...we've actually been working very hard....

- God & Gays has been picked up by Indican Pictures out of Hollywood and is in prep mode for our Los Angeles release in November and then several other markets around the country in Jan/Feb 2008. They are hiring publicists so you get to know where and when you can see the movie in a theatre with other people....a very different and wonderful experience to the DVD. They are prepping the press kits, making plans, working with theatres, asked us for some photos of my and Luane's wedding (which we just celebrated our 3rd year anniversary in September) and who knows what else....

- Darlene Bogle and I are making a special appearance together in Nashville, TN on Oct 19 and 20 for a screening, Q&A and to lead our very cool interactive workshops. Darlene's workshop will be based on her Exodus from Exodus which is a great lead in for mine called "Comfort Zones Are Slow Dream Killers". If you are within driving or short flight of Nashville, I really encourage you to make the trip. It's going to be a mind and heart melding weekend. It's a great warm up for next year's Gathering.

- Luane is writing the script to our next project, we're getting close to start meeting with Hollywood reps and begin the production process all over again. We're two for two...two movies made, two movies distributed which is a frickin' excellent track record in the indy world. This next project will take this consciousness to a whole new level.

- Did you catch our amazing interview with PFLAG's power couple, Sam and Julia Thoron? You can listen to the recording on our archive page: www.godandgaysthemovie.com/archive. Next month, join us for a live chat with Harry Knox, Religion and Faith Director for Human Rights Campaign (HRC).

- Luane and I have been going through adoption prep classes, building a baby room and getting ready to be parents very soon. We decided not to carry our own and help a kid or two who's already here and needs a loving stable home. I'm nervous, but excited. My kid sister's pregnant too so we're sharing "pregnancies" together, I just don't have the daily throwing up and can keep my body shape. Pretty cool deal.

- We're making plans for the 2008 Gathering. Be sure you're on our email blast list to get information as it becomes available.

Well, I guess that's good for now. There's been a lot of amazing things going on with the Matthew Shepard Act and many many churches becoming more open and affirming every week, in every part of the country. It's good to be alive.