Rep. Sally Kern Meets with PFLAG in Oklahoma

Thank you to each of you who were on our live call last Thursday night for our most recent God, Gays & You Live Interview Series call. Our guests included Dotti Berry and Roby Sapp from StandUpSpeakOut.com who are the authors of the upcoming book, When Homophobia Hits Home…A Compassionate Couple’s Journey to Transcending Backyard Bigotry.

We also had the great fortune to speak with Steve Davis, an Oklahoman who's been active in the different actions at the state capitol and a local United Methodist congregant.

We talked about the recent results of people's thoughts and words with the teen murders of Lawrence in California and Simmie of Florida. Then we traced back and discussed the comments leaked on YouTube from Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kern (see blog postings below for info).

We wrapped the call with Mary Lou Wallner and Dotti attending the upcoming Soulforce action in Ft. Worth, TX at the general conference of United Methodists.

It was a fascinating discussion for all involved. We offered ways we can help, no matter where we are now, to prevent further thoughts, beliefs, and words leading to devastating actions. We had several spiritually-minded responses and gave perspective to how it feels to being on the receiving end of such talk around gay people being "the greatest threat" and a "death knell" to this country. Makes ya feel warm and fuzzy inside, huh.

In addition to a pro-Sally and anti-Sally remarks rally in Oklahoma City recently, Kern met with local PFLAG members including credible local ministers. They came out of the meeting pleased with how the meeting went, feeling hopeful and saying Kern didn't believe people ought to be fired for being gay, something that is allowed by law in Oklahoma and many other states like Ohio to this day.

Then, there was an article in The Oklahoman saying Kern's words were spun by PFLAG. I don't know why she'd take offense to something so humane for a public official to say as protecting people at work, but she did...at least according to the media.

We all know the media is known to make mistakes, God knows how many typos, misquotes and really weird "facts" have been added to interviews done with Luane and I around the movie. We just chuckle at some of the creativity some journalists have when reporting a story based on a live interview.

Whether or not the media was 100% accurate on Kern's thoughts on meeting with PFLAG, there's now a recording available of the meeting available for you to listen for yourself. It's 40 minutes long, enjoy.

Ex Gay Survivor in Irvine this Weekend

This weekend is the Ex Gay Survivor's Conference in Irvine, CA. BeyondExGay.com and Soulforce put together a series of workshops, speakers, performances, music and movies to bring people together who have dealt with ex gay ministries in their lives.

I will be in the minority there as I didn't fall for the ex gay ministry tractor beam propagated by many Christian churches in the country. I don't know how I escaped it actually. Under the sign saying "Grace Ministries" at my previous church, sat a table top full of books titled "You Don't Have to Be Gay" and other such myths. I was fortunately at a place of self-acceptance that seeing the contradiction of the book titles with the sign saying Grace helped me leave the church, never looking back.

If you're not familiar with what ex gay means, it's a philosophy around believing being gay is preventable and/or curable. All you have to do is read the Bible more and welcome Jesus into your heart. It completely negates those of us who have reconciled did not do so in spite of God, but because of Him. Well, recently the head honchos at Exodus International, the biggest and best funded ex gay ministry (by Dobson's Focus on the Family) stated they see homosexuality is actually not a choice. Gee, what took them so long?

It's a way to make people conform to other people's level of comfort. It takes creativity away from God. It's absurd and there's thousands of people in loveless marriages because of it.

Now the course of self-justification of existence is to say gays must be celibate. As if all gays can be priests, when priests aren't always able. It's insane. It's emotionally traumatic. It's caused youth and adults to commit suicide. It's psychological malpractice. It divides families. It divides individuals. It's conditional when the Bible is clear on loving as Jesus loved, which is unconditionally.

We have Darlene Bogle, a former ex gay (I guess an ex ex gay...) and former leader in Exodus Ministry in our movie. She has a powerful story of how she sees how damaging her life was by confusing being numb with being straight. The self-hatred she had, burrowing it in alcohol, drugs, staying busy at work so she didn't have to feel or deal. I've met others who are anorexic. I have a personal friend who has caused herself an ulcer, had surgery, aged her skin with stress, kept her kids home from school so she isn't alone, got addicted to Vicodine...all to avoid and self-punish after listening to made up marketing terms like "pro gay theology". People will cause themselves physical harm when emotional trauma manifests. It's emotional trauma because there's a huge disconnect from our soul to God when we pull back and listen to made up rules from human beings versus listening to what God is telling us in the whispers. Even if we ignore it or deny it at first, it always gets worse and the consequences greater. Always. Being gay can't be fixed, because there's nothing to fix.

Darlene now is on fire to minister to ex ex gays and help those currently in ex gay groups get out and get on with their life as a whole human being.

We have another person in the movie who is currently ex gay and has been for 10 years. We've gotten the feedback from screenings of how viewers can see her pain and struggle and wish she would truly connect to God and get her nose out of studying herself into dead ends to keep herself from feeling anything. It's interesting. People think they pull off how they are happy and at peace, even though parts of them are quite shut down.

We don't fool anyone. Except ourselves usually. I'm excited to be at the conference and show the movie on Sunday, July 1st 4pm at UC Irvine as the grand finale. I'm proud to be a part of a sanctuary of sanity for people who got caught in the ex gay net. Hope to see you there on Friday with Mel White, Wayne Besen and Darlene Bogle. I love my job.

God, Gays & You with Darlene Bogle & Dotti Berry

With so much going on with the announcement of the Unity is Our Identity Conference, please make sure you've marked your calendars to join us for our next guests in our live teleconference series, God, Gays and You, Darlene Bogle and Dotti Berry.

Darlene Bogle who was an exodus leader for 15 years and did the ex gay thing and managed to not only survive it but become so clear on how "God don't make no junk", she's now out, in a new relationship and authored a new book, A Christian Lesbian Journey to share her amazing story with us all. Make sure you read the Forward when you get the book. :)

We also have the pleasure of talking with Dotti Berry and her partner Robynne Sapp. They were recently arrested at Focus on the Family and there was quite the wild media circus around what actually happened. So, they will tell you what really happened, why they did what they did and we'll make the connection of what Dotti and Darlene have in common.

We'll tell you about a fantastic conference coming up in Irvine, Beyond Ex Gay which Luane and I will be attending and showing the movie. Plus, being on the call, you'll learn first who is scheduled for June's guest. You won't believe it. I'm already nervous just thinking about it.

If you are currently or have been in ex gay ministries or have questions about what they are, etc. email us your questions before the call and we'll find a way to get them asked for you.

Luane and I will be on the call as well and we sincerely look forward to being with you!

Call in information:
Be sure to call in a few minutes early to get in, there's a limited number of phone lines available!
Thursday, May 3rd 5p Pacific/8p Eastern (one hour)
1-641-297-5800 (Iowa)
Participant Access Code: 29862