My Weekend at the Ex Gay Survivor Conference

Wow....what a weekend. Peterson Toscano and Christine Bakke from BeyondExGay.com along with Soulforce put together this first time ever, unique and much needed Ex Gay Survivor's Confrence in Irvine, CA. It happened less than a mile from Exodus' "Freedom" Conference. Fascinating that what Exodus was interfering and creating at their conference, was the same thing the survivor conference was trying to repair and heal. It's like a photo I took of a Krispy Kreme donut store directly across the street from a hospital. Cause and effect. Choices and consequences. Eat a lot of donuts, you'll end up in the hospital sooner than you think. Believe a lot of harmful lies and psychological trauma based in fear, you'll end up suicidal, ripped from your family and if you survive, putting the pieces of your life together slowly, maybe have a healthy relationship without feeling guilty. Either donuts or dogma, we're allowing it to ourselves. We're the ones putting it in our system and digesting it. But these options are only available if there's an audience willing to pay and hear it.

Why not skip the middle man and allow God to guide you? No need to spend money to hear someone say every gay person is gay because they were molested (Melissa Fryear of Exodus) or it's the father's fault because he didn't hug his son enough (Nicolosi from NARTH) or it's the mom's fault because she wasn't a strong role model for her daughter. Why pay someone to do that to you? Why doubt yourself and God's guidance in your life that much?

Even Exodus' current leader, Alan Chambers, says, "expect a life of denial" as an ex gay and he frequently mentions a daily prayer he says asking God to help him not do what comes naturally to him.

The focus on the Survivor conference was not on Exodus or bashing them, it was in support and encouragement for those who went through the programs and are broken inside, carry pain and guilt still, feel divided, walked away from God, are angry and feel betrayed and for those who have accepted themselves, want to meet others and see they aren't alone.

People shared their stories, there were tears, there was laughter. We got to show our movie and the praise was high. This was a very different crowd for our movie...we usually have 80% heterosexual people attend. This time it was the opposite. What was important to me was that they felt properly represented. Like the movie voiced them and their experience, saying what they'd want to say to people. And they did. They felt great about the movie expressing and representing them. Phew.

You probably have caught the articles, our own Darlene Bogle on CNN, etc from the Ex conferences. It was amazing to be a part of history.

If you're ex gay or had an ex gay experience yourself or with your child, I highly recommend coming to our Gathering in Nashville August 3/4. You'll be safe. You'll be upheld. You won't be alone. You'll be comforted. You'll be heard. You'll matter. You'll be addressed in love. Click the registration button on the right column and see you in Nashville.

I'll continue to blog on my experiences and the kinds of stories we heard this weekend, some heart breaking, some very redeeming. I'll also share one of the disturbing emails we got recently.

Hang in there if you've had an ex gay experience. There is light at the end of the tunnel...hang on....there's a huge support system here for you.

God & Gays Gathering August 3 & 4

We've sent out a press release and wanted you to have a look so if you see mentions in your local media, write us and let us know. Word doesn't always get back to us that someone has covered our movie or the Gathering.

Also, feel free to copy and paste the release and email or fax it to your local TV, newspaper, radio, entertainment magazine's news assignment editor in arts & entertainment, religion sections and features editors. And, if you have a favorite personality or reporter, send it to them as well. We have seen the success over and over again that if people know about the movie and now the Gathering, they will show up and as a result, thousands of lives will be positively impacted. So help spread the word.

You can also easily send it to your local churches, diversity resource center, University multicultural office, state equality organization and others you know of that will want to join in and get the word out. Thank you in advance! It takes all of us!

Contact: Michele Karlsberg
(718) 351-9599
KarlsbergM@aol.com
Gathering Schedule Available at: http://www.godandgaysthemovie.com/conference

God & Gays: Bridging the Gap
The Movie. The Gathering. The Movement.

Bishop Spong, Mel White and Actor/Comedian Jason Stuart and many more converge in Nashville for the highly anticipating
God & Gays Gathering 2007: Unity is Our Identity

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif., July 1, 2007 -– “I’d rather she be dead than gay,” confesses a mother who, unfortunately, got her wish. She lost her daughter to suicide and talks about it in the heart-wrenching and yet unifying feature documentary, God and Gays: Bridging the Gap.

Filmmakers, Gathering founders and life partners, Luane Beck and Kim Clark, created God and Gays: Bridging the Gap to offer an intimate look into the lives of people raised in Christian homes and who struggle, knowing – or fearing, their homosexual path. Now, they host the largest, most impressive line-up of qualified speakers on the country’s most non-discussed topic, can you be Christian and be gay? With the religious right and mainstream Christianity teaching emotionally traumatizing ex-gay therapies, celibacy or subtle and equally as harmful forms of tolerance, it’s the perfect time in history for the God & Gays Gathering.

The God & Gays Gathering features progressive Episcopalian Bishop John Shelby Spong, previous ghost writer to Jerry Falwell Rev. Dr. Mel White, evangelical minister’s wife Peggy Campolo and ex-Exodus group leader Darlene Bogle plus many more together to Nashville, TN. Considered a central location for people all around the Bible belt area to attend, Gathering founder Kim Clark hopes, “anyone who is tired of being asked to vote on marriage equality and hearing only fear as the reason to keep people divided and are ready to deal with the human side of the debate around homosexuality and religion in a safe, accepting environment is welcome. We are ready for the parents and friends of gays, lesbians and transgender people to come so we can support them as they will and do get flack from society for not disowning their loved one. We are ready for the gay person with nowhere to go safely, who has contemplated or attempted suicide to instead invest time in him or herself, in what they’re going through and how to work with their faith to be the solution, not the problem. We’re ready for the church leader, the teacher, the therapist, to give them support in leading their groups to learning more on what it’s like to be gay and religious. The goal is empowerment. Get people out of victim status and they become more of who they are, how God made them.” Clark is best known for her quote, “comfort zones are slow dream killers” and lives by it on a daily basis, which is what got her through making God & Gays: Bridging the Gap and creating several support services like the Gathering. Her partner, Luane Beck, originally made the film based on Clark’s own personal struggle with being gay and Christian. Since premiering, they’ve toured the country speaking to large groups, showing the movie, receiving thousands of emails, letters of support and stories about changed lives.

God and Gays: Bridging the Gap is a rare opportunity to get questions answered, challenge the myths about gay people, and to put a human face on a hot political issue. The story is uniquely told by the people who live the struggle, judgment, fear and ignorance of others every day. “This is about real human beings, contributors to society, educated, kind, God-loving people. This is for real and people deserve to see and hear the stories of the people whose lives they will affect,” says Producer Kim Clark.

God and Gays: Bridging the Gap unifies Christianity and sexual preference in a time where church denominations are on the verge of dividing, in an era where history doesn’t repeat itself, but people repeat history.

Editors: For an EPK and free viewing of the movie trailer, go online to http://www.godandgaysthemovie.com. To schedule an interview with the filmmakers and people featured in the movie, call (718) 351-9599.

About Zernus Productions: Writer, Director and Actor Luane Beck started Zernus Productions to produce her first feature-length narrative drama Intentions in 2001. Award winning documentary producer Kim Clark joined in 2003 and together they focus their true-to-life stories with social integrity and unification in mind, heart and soul. Learn more about the nationally distributed Intentions at http://www.zernusproductions.com

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Ex Gay Survivor in Irvine this Weekend

This weekend is the Ex Gay Survivor's Conference in Irvine, CA. BeyondExGay.com and Soulforce put together a series of workshops, speakers, performances, music and movies to bring people together who have dealt with ex gay ministries in their lives.

I will be in the minority there as I didn't fall for the ex gay ministry tractor beam propagated by many Christian churches in the country. I don't know how I escaped it actually. Under the sign saying "Grace Ministries" at my previous church, sat a table top full of books titled "You Don't Have to Be Gay" and other such myths. I was fortunately at a place of self-acceptance that seeing the contradiction of the book titles with the sign saying Grace helped me leave the church, never looking back.

If you're not familiar with what ex gay means, it's a philosophy around believing being gay is preventable and/or curable. All you have to do is read the Bible more and welcome Jesus into your heart. It completely negates those of us who have reconciled did not do so in spite of God, but because of Him. Well, recently the head honchos at Exodus International, the biggest and best funded ex gay ministry (by Dobson's Focus on the Family) stated they see homosexuality is actually not a choice. Gee, what took them so long?

It's a way to make people conform to other people's level of comfort. It takes creativity away from God. It's absurd and there's thousands of people in loveless marriages because of it.

Now the course of self-justification of existence is to say gays must be celibate. As if all gays can be priests, when priests aren't always able. It's insane. It's emotionally traumatic. It's caused youth and adults to commit suicide. It's psychological malpractice. It divides families. It divides individuals. It's conditional when the Bible is clear on loving as Jesus loved, which is unconditionally.

We have Darlene Bogle, a former ex gay (I guess an ex ex gay...) and former leader in Exodus Ministry in our movie. She has a powerful story of how she sees how damaging her life was by confusing being numb with being straight. The self-hatred she had, burrowing it in alcohol, drugs, staying busy at work so she didn't have to feel or deal. I've met others who are anorexic. I have a personal friend who has caused herself an ulcer, had surgery, aged her skin with stress, kept her kids home from school so she isn't alone, got addicted to Vicodine...all to avoid and self-punish after listening to made up marketing terms like "pro gay theology". People will cause themselves physical harm when emotional trauma manifests. It's emotional trauma because there's a huge disconnect from our soul to God when we pull back and listen to made up rules from human beings versus listening to what God is telling us in the whispers. Even if we ignore it or deny it at first, it always gets worse and the consequences greater. Always. Being gay can't be fixed, because there's nothing to fix.

Darlene now is on fire to minister to ex ex gays and help those currently in ex gay groups get out and get on with their life as a whole human being.

We have another person in the movie who is currently ex gay and has been for 10 years. We've gotten the feedback from screenings of how viewers can see her pain and struggle and wish she would truly connect to God and get her nose out of studying herself into dead ends to keep herself from feeling anything. It's interesting. People think they pull off how they are happy and at peace, even though parts of them are quite shut down.

We don't fool anyone. Except ourselves usually. I'm excited to be at the conference and show the movie on Sunday, July 1st 4pm at UC Irvine as the grand finale. I'm proud to be a part of a sanctuary of sanity for people who got caught in the ex gay net. Hope to see you there on Friday with Mel White, Wayne Besen and Darlene Bogle. I love my job.

The Absurdity of the Argument

Someone forwarded us a link to a scene from Boston Legal that is a great demonstration of the logic and rational we get confused by when people take issue with homosexuality and especially when it's believed that being gay can be "fixed'. Take a listen and go from there:



We also want to share an interview on Good Morning America's Diane Sawyer with Christine Bakke from Beyondexgay.com who's hosting the Ex-Gay Survivor's Conference in Irvine, CA the end of June. Luane and I will be there as part of the film forum and our very own ex Exodus leader Darlene Bogle will be speaking at the conference as well. We encourage you to come, support and be supported.

http://www.comcast.net/swf/fan/fan.swf?pop=yes&ili=false&v=266604735

Beyond Ex Gay Conference Coming in June

Howdy. So much going on these days...this is the time of the year where plans are announced for big events and conferences. Soulforce and BeyondExGay.com have teamed up to hold a conference at UC Irvine in California on June 29-July 1.

If you're familiar with Darlene Bogle's story from our movie, you'll understand what the ex gay thing does to people and, in Darlene's words, "doesn't ever take." People instead spend years denying their homosexuality and repressing affection and love under the belief they are sinners and must instead surround themselves in a more cultish atmosphere and continue to pray their gay away. Never mind that there are no "success" statistics, that Ted Haggard was apparently "cured" in three weeks by a group of ministers not trained in the area and the original founders of Exodus came out and lived quite happily together in love, relationship and communion.

The Beyond Ex Gay Conference is timed and located to match the ironically titled Exodus Freedom Conference in Irvine. The Conference is put on by two people who got sucked into the ex gay brain melt and have suffered a great deal from the emotional trauma. They have courage and a great story to tell.

They consider themselves survivors of the ex gay movement. They are lucky. They are lucky they got out, they are lucky they are alive. We're lucky they are alive and got out as well, that's how more people won't make the same harmful mistakes. So check out the conference, share your stories if you got involved in the ex gay groups around the country, network, come together.

If you can't make their conference, stay tuned to hear our announcement for our conference as we'll have Darlene Bogle present and she'll have a special break out group just for those who have indeed survived ex gay programming damage or are currently involved and seek options.