My Weekend at the Ex Gay Survivor Conference

Wow....what a weekend. Peterson Toscano and Christine Bakke from BeyondExGay.com along with Soulforce put together this first time ever, unique and much needed Ex Gay Survivor's Confrence in Irvine, CA. It happened less than a mile from Exodus' "Freedom" Conference. Fascinating that what Exodus was interfering and creating at their conference, was the same thing the survivor conference was trying to repair and heal. It's like a photo I took of a Krispy Kreme donut store directly across the street from a hospital. Cause and effect. Choices and consequences. Eat a lot of donuts, you'll end up in the hospital sooner than you think. Believe a lot of harmful lies and psychological trauma based in fear, you'll end up suicidal, ripped from your family and if you survive, putting the pieces of your life together slowly, maybe have a healthy relationship without feeling guilty. Either donuts or dogma, we're allowing it to ourselves. We're the ones putting it in our system and digesting it. But these options are only available if there's an audience willing to pay and hear it.

Why not skip the middle man and allow God to guide you? No need to spend money to hear someone say every gay person is gay because they were molested (Melissa Fryear of Exodus) or it's the father's fault because he didn't hug his son enough (Nicolosi from NARTH) or it's the mom's fault because she wasn't a strong role model for her daughter. Why pay someone to do that to you? Why doubt yourself and God's guidance in your life that much?

Even Exodus' current leader, Alan Chambers, says, "expect a life of denial" as an ex gay and he frequently mentions a daily prayer he says asking God to help him not do what comes naturally to him.

The focus on the Survivor conference was not on Exodus or bashing them, it was in support and encouragement for those who went through the programs and are broken inside, carry pain and guilt still, feel divided, walked away from God, are angry and feel betrayed and for those who have accepted themselves, want to meet others and see they aren't alone.

People shared their stories, there were tears, there was laughter. We got to show our movie and the praise was high. This was a very different crowd for our movie...we usually have 80% heterosexual people attend. This time it was the opposite. What was important to me was that they felt properly represented. Like the movie voiced them and their experience, saying what they'd want to say to people. And they did. They felt great about the movie expressing and representing them. Phew.

You probably have caught the articles, our own Darlene Bogle on CNN, etc from the Ex conferences. It was amazing to be a part of history.

If you're ex gay or had an ex gay experience yourself or with your child, I highly recommend coming to our Gathering in Nashville August 3/4. You'll be safe. You'll be upheld. You won't be alone. You'll be comforted. You'll be heard. You'll matter. You'll be addressed in love. Click the registration button on the right column and see you in Nashville.

I'll continue to blog on my experiences and the kinds of stories we heard this weekend, some heart breaking, some very redeeming. I'll also share one of the disturbing emails we got recently.

Hang in there if you've had an ex gay experience. There is light at the end of the tunnel...hang on....there's a huge support system here for you.