Inauguration Day

I had three favorite parts to the Inauguration today:

1. Rick Warren's prayer was milktoast, superficial and muted
2. Obama is now our president
3. Rev. Joseph Lowry was sincere, humorous (I was waiting for his rhyme to include "And the gay will have his day") and grounded

I watched the ceremony from my office, online. God bless the internet and the addition of streaming video. I had several friends in the million+ crowd and could feel their excitement as I cried while watching Obama swear in. I've never in my life known when the inauguration ceremony was, nevertheless watched it. This one, I couldn't wait for, it was like a concert I've had tickets to for eight years.

Inauguration Prayer - Bishop Gene Robinson

The man whom conservatives call the reason for the current Episcopalian church split just because he's honest in who he is, speaks a prayer of unification and oneness for Obama, and all of us...

A Prayer for the Nation and Our Next President, Barack Obama

By The Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson, Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire

Opening Inaugural Event

Lincoln Memorial, Washington, DC

January 18, 2009

Welcome to Washington! The fun is about to begin, but first, please join me in pausing for a moment, to ask God’s blessing upon our nation and our next president.

O God of our many understandings, we pray that you will…

Bless us with tears – for a world in which over a billion people exist on less than a dollar a day, where young women from many lands are beaten and raped for wanting an education, and thousands die daily from malnutrition, malaria, and AIDS.

Bless us with anger – at discrimination, at home and abroad, against refugees and immigrants, women, people of color, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

Bless us with discomfort – at the easy, simplistic “answers” we’ve preferred to hear from our politicians, instead of the truth, about ourselves and the world, which we need to face if we are going to rise to the challenges of the future.

Bless us with patience – and the knowledge that none of what ails us will be “fixed” anytime soon, and the understanding that our new president is a human being, not a messiah.

Bless us with humility – open to understanding that our own needs must always be balanced with those of the world.

Bless us with freedom from mere tolerance – replacing it with a genuine respect and warm embrace of our differences, and an understanding that in our diversity, we are stronger.

Bless us with compassion and generosity – remembering that every religion’s God judges us by the way we care for the most vulnerable in the human community, whether across town or across the world.

And God, we give you thanks for your child Barack, as he assumes the office of President of the United States.

Give him wisdom beyond his years, and inspire him with Lincoln’s reconciling leadership style, President Kennedy’s ability to enlist our best efforts, and Dr. King’s dream of a nation for ALL the people.

Give him a quiet heart, for our Ship of State needs a steady, calm captain in these times.

Give him stirring words, for we will need to be inspired and motivated to make the personal and common sacrifices necessary to facing the challenges ahead.

Make him color-blind, reminding him of his own words that under his leadership, there will be neither red nor blue states, but the United States.

Help him remember his own oppression as a minority, drawing on that experience of discrimination, that he might seek to change the lives of those who are still its victims.

Give him the strength to find family time and privacy, and help him remember that even though he is president, a father only gets one shot at his daughters’ childhoods.

And please, God, keep him safe. We know we ask too much of our presidents, and we’re asking FAR too much of this one. We know the risk he and his wife are taking for all of us, and we implore you, O good and great God, to keep him safe. Hold him in the palm of your hand – that he might do the work we have called him to do, that he might find joy in this impossible calling, and that in the end, he might lead us as a nation to a place of integrity, prosperity and peace.

AMEN.

Would You Still Hand Me the Ketchup if You Knew I Was Gay?

Luane and I live, funny enough, in the most religiously conservative part of our county. Everyone's white, Christian, 2.5 kids, suburbans and soccer games. Churches thrive here. There's Christian camps in the woods. The local Peet's coffee even let one of its employees who's a congregant gather donations for her church with a purchase of a coffee. The No on 8 and Yes on 8 battle was quite fierce right in our own backyard.

There's a breakfast place Luane and I go to pretty often where the staff walk up, know what we want to eat and are always happy to see us, no matter how grungy we may look. They don't know our names or what we do for a living, although a month ago our photo was on the front page of the local paper. We look different in baseball caps.

One time we were there, the guy next to us heard me talk about how we were just interviewed for 90 minutes on KGO radio, the #1 radio station in the San Francisco Bay Area. He decided to let us know his opinion on how gay marriage is ridiculous, blah, blah, blah...Mind you, were sitting having buckwheat pancakes, catching up with Luane's mom for a leisure Saturday breakfast out. One would think that's a safe thing to do.

Alas, with our experiences on the road with the movie in some of the most conservative parts of the country, we have become alert at all times for conversation hijackers. Fortunately, we're grounded in who we are, and understand this is a guy wanting to be heard and helped. He's in essence asking someone to help free him from his own thought bondage. Our work is to be part of this experience for folks, so we handled it with compassion....and still it was unsettling for both him and us. But we both grew from it, I'm sure.

The last time we were in the cafe, I wanted to ask the table next to me if I could borrow their ketchup. They were a straight couple, older. I had hesitated in asking them. I just wanted to eat my eggs, not get into it again with someone, as I realized I had become more hyper-sensitive when I'm out about town in who I engage with in conversation since prop 8. Prop 8 had introduced this "neener-neener" mentality where the yes voters felt they had the right to say what they wanted about gay people and marriage. I'm sure many gay people had either gone back in the closet or something similar. Luane and I won't do that, but we're also careful of choosing our battles...we never start them mind you....we never start them.

So, I have eggs, I like a dash of ketchup, the straight couple next to us has the bottle. I have lots of choices, I choose the brave one and ask the couple for the ketchup. They smiled, were very pleasant and we had a nice and polite exchange. I even returned the bottle with my third thank you. Then, I started to wonder in my head...if they knew I was sitting here with my female partner, my spouse...if they knew I was gay, would they have treated me the same way?

I recognize straight people may be blown away that me, or any gay person would actually have questions like this, but I know I'm not alone. We're all a bit gun shy, just in different ways. I pray for the day that I won't have to be looking around our favorite breakfast place to make sure we're in a safe space. I want that for everywhere around the US, and the world. I hope you want that too.

Join the Impact

Yes, we've been away for a while and a lot of life has happened...what an amazing end to 2008. The election, Our Family Matters conference in Nashville, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and a New Year.

Plus, we're still celebrating the exciting news that the DVD is finally in wide release, available everywhere DVDs are sold and rented. This one includes a never-before-released audio commentary with Luane and I...which is funny and packed with behind-the-scenes info on how we made the movie. I had a cold and in the spirit of "keeping it real" we didn't re-record once I was well; we like the raw, in the moment feel like you see throughout the documentary.

Some people have wondered how life was like for us during and since prop 8 and thank you for your kind notes and prayers...for they are for all of us as discrimination rears its ugly head just as it has done once religion gets involved in issuing rights to minorities. All good is coming from this though...if you've not heard of the online grass roots group JoinTheImpact.com, check them out and get involved. Often people are left feeling helpless as the Goliaths seem too big to do anything about...alas, the bigger they are, the harder they fall...just look at a history book that hopefully is accurately written.

Prop 8 is asking for us to have conversations, to deal with social equality once and for all. This is our chance to stop the abusive pattern of demonizing a segment of society and continuing the craziness of "us vs. them". It's never worked, it won't, we need to accept we are all one and get over the spiritual immaturity to believe anyone is better than anyone else. So this is my wish for 2009. We're all one, so let's start acting like it. Enjoy the freedom that it invites, the peace, the diplomacy. Have fun today.

Obama, Warren and Lowry

What are we to think or believe about Obama's action around inviting Pastor Rick Warren from Saddleback church in Southern California to speak at his inauguration? Some feel slighted, some are confused, some are downright pissed. There's a lot of hurt already from prop 8 and now one of the major funders and champions gets a worldwide stage next to our next president. We thought we voted discriminatory and arrogant conciousness out of the White House in November. But this is victim-speak.

I get why he did it, and it still wasn't the best move. With a country packed with pastors of influence, why choose one who openly chooses to go against the unconditional love and respect for all God's creation Jesus teaches?

Feels like a big ouch...and not just from people in the gay community. There are many stunned straight people as well. It was an unneccessary move, with so many other better choices.

He did get it right with choosing Rev. Dr. Joseph Lowry, who ran with MLK and is very open in supporting the gay community, to also speak at the inauguration. I wish Lowry got all the attention, he's the one that deserves it. I praise Obama for choosing him, he has the right message of oneness, reconciliation and peace. Anything outside of that doesn't deserve a pulpit, it's not worth our time.

Rick Warren has made oodles of money from his churches and book sales. I've had friends from Soulforce scheduled for months to have a lunch with him only to arrive to an awkward hug and his rapid disappearance.

I encourage you to not fall for the Warren hype, focus on Lowry, his message ought to get our attention and celebration. The Rick Warrens of the world only survive when there's an audience that'll listen. The more we don't listen to the rhetoric, the faster it'll go away and the more space is made for the Lowry's of our one world.

Marriage is a Basic Human Right

With the election around the corner and people buzzing about mailing in their ballots to make sure they vote (and the extra postage it takes), it's been a fascinating ride watching people for me. Outside my door near the parking lot is a sign telling people to vote for a proposition that would take away my right to be married to the person I love. It's here, in my face. When I see it, my stomach is quesy because it's a child crying for help, it reminds me of the pervasive fear in our society. Prop 8 is a projection of desperate control by actually changing the constitution to make discrimination legal. What year is it? What state is this? California and America is better than that.

Rev. Deborah has a video breaking down what Prop 8 is about, check it out:


Although on the surface Prop 8 in California is saying to vote for it to "save marriage". Just like any other marketing term, you say it often enough and people will start repeating it and believe it actually means something. With just a brief amount of thought, one would recognize the proposition and its stance has nothing to do with marriage, saving it or not. There's already studies saying the divorce rate will drop with same-gender couples marrying...because people will actually marry who they genuinely love rather than who they think they are supposed to marry.

We see No on 8 signs around town too, many of them vandalized. I think to sum up the tension that exists on this topic around marriage equality is with the no on 8 sign torn right where it says "equality for all". The tear separates "equality" from "for all".

Anger manifested. Even McCain's current campaign strategy is built on deflection and anger..."it's the other guy's fault", "look what he's doing and not doing". It's all distraction, no ownership or integrity behind it. That same mindset of fear trickles down to the little No on 8 sign with torn equality.

How did we get here? When did our hearts get so suffocated as to be so desperate to make discrimination against a segment of society legal? When did it become okay to vote on someone else's relationship? What if your relationship was up for a popular vote right now...every day someone is marking their ballot and deciding the validity of your relationship...they don't know you, and they don't care to.

No, really...take a second and feel what that would be like for you. Even when Prop 8 is defeated, I drive out of this state and I'm no longer married. Can you just imagine what that feels like? On my federal taxes I have to lie under penalty of perjury and state I'm single...and sign my name to it. What would that feel like to you?

Below the drama and victimization, this proposition is about changing the state constitution. The California Supreme Court (which is a Republican majority) recognized that it was unlawful to not allow committed same-gender couples to marry, they did not "give" us the right, it was there all along. Equality is built into the constitution. It's been a given since the beginning. The pilgrims left England so they could create equality and not suffer persecution. So we're now being asked to reverse the very premise the country has been built on? For what? People loving each other?

An axe murderer on death row retains the right to be married...so regardless of what you feel about people's behavior, marriage is a basic human right. It's incredibly dangerous to allow a group of people motivated by fear to start picking and choosing which segment of society gets to be equal and who doesn't. Who's next? Muslims? Immigrants? Whoever the threat du jour is.

California has been here before with interracial marriage in the late 1940s. The same argument was used, the same fear tactics and here we are again. The world didn't explode when an African-American fell in love with a Latino-American person. The world still won't explode when same-gender people fall in love. Plus, it's always been a part of the human race, it's not like being gay started a few years ago.

Please understand what trying to control other people's behavior creates. The division, not only as a society but also with people feeling the division internally. Whenever we feel confusion, we must just seek peace. Our inner guidance will step up if we allow it to.

I don't tend to touch anything that is fear-based...my criteria are love-based: are people treating other people equally, is this proposition fair, is it expanding rights allowing people to become more of who they are, is it freeing. If it feels like control, fear, anger...I want nothing to do with it.

And my inner Anne Frank believes people will do the right thing. I can't imagine how and why I'd be qualified to vote on someone else's life and especially their love. It's absurd that this is even happening, it's desperate to take control when it would nothing of the sort. Committed same-gender people will still be married and they will continue to marry, nothing would change...except greater alienation, which is exactly the opposite of what we need as a society right now. We have to be there for each other at a time like this. We have to stand up for each other. We have to protect the constiution as it was written to treat all people equally. Please vote no on prop 8.

God and Gays DVD Release November 11th

We're thrilled to announce that God and Gays: Bridging the Gap is being re-released on DVD Tuesday, November 11th! So, pre-order it from Amazon, Save it in your Netflix queue, tell a friend...think of the holidays and who could use a movie to remind them of just how loved they are, just as they are...thank you for supporting us all this time. Enjoy the movie!

God and Gays Shows in Los Angeles Oct 23-26

We've heard from our film distributor that God and Gays: Bridging the Gap will show for one week at the Los Angeles Laemle Grand. Spread the news, invite friends and enjoy the movie!!

Ray Boltz Headlines Our Family Matters

This year's conference is really shaping up...I can't believe the enormous support we're getting from people who want to volunteer, attend and participate. People have been waiting for someone to do something like this and now that someone has, all kinds of energy is around it.

And the timing couldn't be better. Recently, Ray Boltz, the widely-successful contemporary Christian music artist, 3-time Dove Award winner with his biggest hit, "Thank You"...came out. He's gone public and has a whole new CD he's working on.

Our Family Matters is a perfect match for Ray Boltz and he'll be headlining our celebration concert on Saturday night, Oct 25th. With Valerie Joi Fiddmont and Holy Trinity Community Church also performing...let's just say you have to be there to see the grand finale we have planned.

Join us in Nashville Oct 22-25 for Our Family Matters. Come and see Ray Boltz, Dr. Jack Rogers and Rev. Deobrah Johnson in person. There's nothing else like it.

Luane and I Got Married

For our 4-year wedding anniversary, we decided to get married again! This time, legally. We did just the opposite of our first wedding and had a very intimate ceremony officiated by Rev. Deborah L. Johnson of Inner Light Ministries. We held a sunrise ceremony on a beautiful park-like setting overlooking the Pacific Ocean, surrounded by trees.

I cried, no surprise there. I really lost it when Rev. Deborah was standing very close to me and said "lawfully". My mom said she didn't even think of the importance of that word until she heard it and saw my reaction. My mom even said she thought of other parents who've shunned their kids for "being gay" and how much they would miss experiencing with their kids. She teared up thinking all she would have missed. She's my best friend and I'm glad she's always chosen love when it comes to hard stuff.

The key thing was this felt different. Not different in my love or my promise to Luane and our partnership, but...different. It meant no one could say to me, "your relationship isn't the same as mine" even though I've never believed it anyway. With straight people surrounding us, going into the county building and getting our license....it felt very real. I don't expect you to understand, but if you've ever just believed in yourself and who you are when no one else did, you can relate. Just by sticking to your commitment and clarity of who you are, you just waited for the others to catch up. When they did, it felt...different...and maybe even surreal. That's what it's like.

I'm behind on getting the photos up because of all the planning work around the conference, but I will get them up eventually. Thank you for all your emails of well-wishing for our special day!

Hallmark Unveils Gay Wedding Cards

I got this forwarded from RetailWire today....

Article Preview:

Two months after California sanctioned same-sex marriages, Hallmark announced plans to introduce same-sex wedding cards. Making no direct mention of same-sex unions, the cards feature two tuxedos, overlapping hearts or intertwined flowers, with neutral best wishes inside. One says: "Two hearts. One promise." What do you think of the market opportunity for same-sex wedding cards? How big a backlash, if any, do you expect Hallmark will receive for introducing the cards?

*************

One topic that is often talked about in the gay community is the challenge of walking into a Longs to get your partner a birthday or anniversary card and none are really accurate. For Luane, I've been settling for the To My Wife cards, but we're among the camp who aren't into the wife title. Sometimes I'll scratch out the Wife part and put Partner. Many of our straight friends aren't into 'wife or husband' as well, so it's not just the gay community looking for cards to reflect current relationships. Partner is much more widely used, gay or straight, in relationships. Partner feels more equal, more deliberate, more committed for the right reason.

Yes, there's been independent artists and stores creating same-gender (same-sex is also not an accurate statement) cards for years. And, there's been occasions when I don't have the time to order cards on line or go to San Francisco to find a store that might have the tone and words I want to say in a beautifully decorated card to express my love, so I run to the local Walgreens. Or, I make my own and bypass the whole inaccurate card purchase.

It's been a joke, it's been a frustration, now it seems it'll finally be a thing of the past. We'll say, "remember when there was only husband and wife cards? As if those titles were the only choices to box in what we called our partners...and ourselves?"

Thankfully, Hallmark is joining the long list of companies who get that gay relationships are still relationships, and we too deserve an appropriately loving and sentimental wedding card for our partner. It's all the same. Love is love. I'm looking forward to the day I can get Luane a Valentine's card and not have to scratch off the Wife.

Vow to Vote No on 8 in November

There's a large coalition of churches, resource centers, politicians, companies, universities and community members unified to defeat prop 8 in November. To learn more, support the defeat which will allow Luane and I to be legally married, go to: www.noonprop8.com for more information. You can donate no matter where you live.

For Luane and my (second) wedding at the end of September, we're asking people to give gifts not to us, but to the campaign. We do this not just for ourselves, but for the rest of the country. We see people coming from all over the country to marry here in California, regardless of their state recognizing the marriage or not. It's important to the couple, to make that public step, no different than what it means to a straight couple in making the commitment.

Thanks for your support, we're continuing to do what we can to help people realize that along the same lines of freedom of religion, freedom of race, there's freedom of orientation. It's a basic freedom.

I've been told by countless moms who at first had the "ick" factor in their heads. Then they recognized how they've been teaching their children to appreciate the differently skinned kid in their class, the different religion practiced by their family friends, the different body sizes kids come in...and yet to be inconsistent in appreciating the diversity of who people love.

So, the "aha" moments are happening...people are getting we're all the same on the inside and just expressing ourselves uniquely on the outside. Part of God's tapestry, that's all it is.

The first federally recognized same-sex marriage will happen on the Coquille reservation

This is fascinating to me...Native American reservations are "federal" land and a committed lesbian couple will soon be married on their reservation, thus the marriage federally recognized? As horrific as the Native Americans have been treated since, well, forever, by governments, wouldn't it be nice to have this moment in history for them?

I'm also excited about this for two other reasons...I have Muskogee blood in me, from Oklahoma. My ancestry is a part of the Creek tribe and the Turtle clan. We were on the Trail of Tears from the Carolinas and Florida area. We still have heirlooms carried along the Trail within our family. It's a history that is very real to me. When I saw the 30 Days episode this summer where Morgan Spurlock lived on a reservation for a month, I was so moved...it took me back to my childhood and what family was like on the Native American side.

My grandma, at a family reunion, gave us all Native American names. Her name was Owl. She called me Gazelle. Which, at first I was concerned...did she see me as someone who ran away as a defense? I'm clearly not doing that lately if so....then, I learned it was due to my very long legs and my athleticism. So I keep exercise up in my life, gotta keep that girlish Gazelle figure.

The other relevance is I grew up in Oregon. Most of my life has been in California, however I still consider my roots as an Oregonian. For those Oregonians out there, your first question is if my family is Duck or Beaver, and we're Duck even though I never attended Univ. of Oregon.

For this monumental event in LGBT history to collide with my ancestral makeup, makes me feel even more proud. The Natives are first in something again. And good for Oregon to be the state to have it happen.

The Art of Words - No on 8 Description Upheld

In California, same gender committed couples are getting legally married. We hear of hundreds of couples coming from out of state, as far as from Tennessee and beyond to have the dignifying experience of respect for their relationship even if their own state won't recognize its legitimacy. It's an amazing time and I'm proud to be in the front row watching the authentic happiness and tears of joy on these couples' and families' faces.

Recently, the Secretary of State released the description for the ballot measure that's made its way to the CA November ballot which would actually amend the state constitution to disallow gays and lesbians to marry legally. This is the wording:

Proposition 8
ELIMINATES RIGHT OF SAME-SEX COUPLES TO MARRY.
INITIATIVE CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT

Changes California Constitution to eliminate right of same-sex couples to marry. Provides that only a marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.

Fiscal Impact: Over the next few years, potential revenue loss, mainly sales taxes, totaling in the several tens of millions of dollars, to state and local governments. In the long run, likely little fiscal impact to state and local governments.

The folks being paid from mostly out of state organizations who got the signatures for the measure freaked and sued (again) to get the wording softened. They wanted it to be more like defining marriage as one man and one woman. This is the art of words...making something distasteful taste good.

The announcement was made this morning on the suit:

According to Mike Swift at the Mercury News:
" A Superior Court judge this morning rejected a suit filed by Prop. 8 proponents against the ballot title proposed by Attorney General Jerry Brown. Judge Timothy M. Frawley said Brown's language was neither false nor misleading, handing a victory to gay rights supporters who want a clear statement of what a constitutional ban would mean for gay couples who have married in California this year."


So, it's inevitable for the people of California, who don't want to really treat people differently, who are raising their families to accept those of different faiths, cultures, backgrounds and color of skin will simply add orientation to the list of basic fairness.

Luane and I are making our wedding plans...we're getting married (again) in September. I'll marry her as many times as it takes to stick. I hope you'll join the millions of others across the country to get educated on this proposition.

Have you seen Swing Vote yet? It's about knowing what you stand for and putting that education into play at the polls. You can help others get educated as well. You're invited to support the No on 8 Equality for All folks at: http://noonprop8.com

Shooting in Knoxville, TN

By now, you may have heard of the sad and traumatic shooting that happened during a Sunday service at a church in Knoxville, TN which resulted in 2 deaths and 4 people in critical care. The church was Unitarian Universalist and targeted by the gunman because he believed he could find "liberals and gays" there to blame for his current state of life's misfortune.

Yes, the church was well known in the area as being open and affirming, which means it is public in its welcome for any who want to come with deliberate outreach to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender folks. It's well documented that churches who become open and affirming, actually grow in general, as many straight folks return to attend a church who genuinely welcomes everybody.

Learn more about the shooting: http://www.knoxnews.com/news/news/local/church-shooting/

For the Knoxville tragedy, my and Luane's heart go out to the church attendees, their families and the leadership of the church. It also goes out to the man who felt the best way to handle his anger and frustration with his life was to externalize his pain and force others to feel the wounds he feels. The whole situation is sad...projecting blame on strangers for one's unhappiness...whether through the violent use of a gun or of the tongue. They are linked and do tremendous damage and even death...physically, spiritually and emotionally.

With Our Family Matters coming to Nashville, TN in October, we intend to help the state of Tennessee heal from this tragedy by offering a safe place for people to come and get their questions answered, to provide support for those who seek solace, to provide community for those who otherwise feel isolation.

Come together, help Tennessee heal and join us, no matter where you live. For more information and registration: http://www.ourfamilymatters.org

Ellen DeGeneres Gets Engaged...and So Do We.

There's been nationwide hoopla over the California Supreme Court favoring the decision to not allow discrimination of sexual orientation to be used in legal marriages. In my world, everyone is talking about it. The celebration, the tears of joy, more heads held up high, more kids finally feeling their same-sex parents are getting the credit for their relationship they so very much deserve. It's been incredible.

I was told of a minister I know who at an early age really believed that with this culture, there'd never be an African-American president nor marriage equality in her lifetime. So you can imagine what this year has been like for her...

I truly believe in people, it's my inner Anne Frank. I do have faith that people do want to do the right things, be loving and understanding as they seek that for themselves as well. I'm proud of California.

Many people have asked if Luane and I are going to get (officially) married now that we actually can legally. So, just to let you know, yes, of course we are. We already are married anyway, all the hard work of the relationship, the huge commitment ceremony we had in 2004...all that's done. Getting a marriage license is the easy part. We'll probably do it in a private setting since that's Luane's preference (mine was the big party...we complement each other well).

The trippy part of all this is marriages will begin to be legal on June 16th which is one day after Luane's birthday and the anniversary of my middle sister's death. That date means a lot to me and now it means even more.

The Human Rights Campaign is circulating a petition for Million for Marriage. If you'd like to sign it and be a part of the growing number of people coming out of the woodwork to support those of us in long-term, committed relationships towards marriage, please go to:
http://www.hrcactioncenter.org/campaign/millionformarriageac. There will be a reserved place for you at the banquet table in heaven. Thank you for standing for equality of all people, just as Jesus did.

Some of you may have heard or seen Ellen DeGeneres make the big announcement on her show last Friday. My favorite part of this is the audience reaction which causes Ellen to get choked up and Portia dizzy with laughter. It's a beautiful scene...enjoy.

So, honey, how does it feel to be equal?

Today the California Supreme Court voted in favor of allowing gay and lesbian people to marry; the mostly Republican court voted for marriage equality. Even the Governor is supportive of the ruling and says he will not support a state constitutional amendment if it comes to that in November.

I've lived to see it and feel it.

When my email was barraged by well wishers, congratulations, news bulletins and impromptu party invites to celebrate tonight when the announcement was made, I just smiled and said thank you. I then turned to Luane and said, "so honey, how does it feel to be equal?" It was actually kind of a joke because we've always felt equal. No one can "make" us feel unequal anyway. It's just an awesome feeling that others are finally getting it too.

What's so wonderful about this announcement is that our government, at least in California, is finally catching up. It's finally recognizing people as people. It's finally opening its heart and teaching those who have yet to catch up to what equality looks like legally and how the world will in fact not come to an end.

There will be no world destruction, nothing negative will happen except hopefully it'll encourage people who've been internally homophobic towards themselves or lying to themselves and those around them to be open, honest and authentic. And still, I feel that's hugely positive, even if painful in the short term. I've been through it, I know the peace that comes with reconciliation of sexuality and spirituality.

The courts setting this example can only protect kids like Lawrence King, can only increase the number of marriages between people who do actually love each other - thereby reducing the number of marriages between people where one or both are doing it out of duty and self-oppression, denying their same sex attraction and then dragging their partner and eventual kids into their baggage. As Jason Stuart says at the end of our movie, "C'mon straight people, if you let us marry each other, we'll stop marrying you."

Over the years I've been quasi keeping score of who will be last institutionally to be open and affirming and it's been neck and neck with churches and governments. With the United Methodists at the end of April still not living up to their own slogan as a denomination, "Open Hearts, Open Minds" and the California Supreme Court filled mostly of Republicans decision, gotta give major points to government in this round. Churches are falling behind, but they always have a chance to gain footage again, especially with two Democratic candidates both deflecting and saying "it's up to the states" and a Republican candidate just flat out against marriage equality.

Even with the UMC ruling, there are many many UMC churches making their own statements to their local community. In Hoquaim, WA last Saturday night, Darlene Bogle, Roby Sapp and Dotti Berry showed our movie and led a fantastic discussion afterwards to a filled room. The host of the screening was the local UMC. People, when given the chance, will authentically open their hearts and open their minds.

In the words of Rev. Deborah Johnson, "you can't stop an idea, who's time has come."

Thank you, California. Maybe I'll not have to lie on my tax forms anymore and check the box saying Single...thank you for the opportunity to be more of myself.

More info: Yahoo News

May Day: Today's National Day of Prayer

It's May Day, for several reasons.

1) It's May 1st, so...it's also the first Thursday of the month which means we have our free, live teleconference call tonight with all of you who have signed up on our email list.
2) It's National Day of Prayer and
3) The United Methodist General Conference just voted to keep in language excluding GLBT members and leaders as they are deemed "incompatible with Christian teachings"...at least for another four years until they vote again. They'll one day be embarrassed by that decision like churches have been in using the Bible to support slavery and other oppressions through history. There where a host of contradictory votes, see this press release for more info.

Like you, I get sent all kinds of e-newsletters, email blasts, article links and I'm grateful people help us keep in the loop on the temperature of our United States...I'm very grateful actually. I then get to experience what's most important to people.

As much as the articles, links to videos, etc we receive to be a bummer to read like #3 above, it's no longer in my nature to really give it a lot of attention and energy. I do occasionally find myself impatient however.

I know in my soul the UMC Conference and others who are like-minded are on a losing side. It's just a matter of time. There's no winning here in excluding people. It never works. No discrimination, no exclusion, no us vs. them, no paradigm of "you must change or go away so I'm comfortable" has ever lasted, it's always been defeated once people start choosing love rather than fear. And this will too. This is what I pray for on this National Day of Prayer. For all of us to be enlightened and empowered to become more of who we are and meant to be on how God made us to be.

And for patience.

With California and other states possibly again having to deal with annoying ballot measures on banning gay marriage - an argument and use of tax dollars that even Republican Governor Schwarzenegger calls "a waste of time", the race is neck and neck of which behemoth will come in last: the government or the church in the obvious "letting its citizens be themselves without the intervention of a mis-interpreted Bible". Separation of church and state, right?

So, all this to say I invite you to join us on our call tonight with Ann Craig from GLAAD as we talk about the media representation of the gay community and how it affects public opinion. I spent 8 years as a media management, theorist and production instructor at a college in California so I'm extra thrilled to have this conversation.

Remember, it's the first Thursday of the month so that means it's God, Gays & You Live Interview Series time. Hope you can join us and if not live, then check out the recording tomorrow at: www.godandgaysthemovie.com/archive.

Rep. Sally Kern Meets with PFLAG in Oklahoma

Thank you to each of you who were on our live call last Thursday night for our most recent God, Gays & You Live Interview Series call. Our guests included Dotti Berry and Roby Sapp from StandUpSpeakOut.com who are the authors of the upcoming book, When Homophobia Hits Home…A Compassionate Couple’s Journey to Transcending Backyard Bigotry.

We also had the great fortune to speak with Steve Davis, an Oklahoman who's been active in the different actions at the state capitol and a local United Methodist congregant.

We talked about the recent results of people's thoughts and words with the teen murders of Lawrence in California and Simmie of Florida. Then we traced back and discussed the comments leaked on YouTube from Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kern (see blog postings below for info).

We wrapped the call with Mary Lou Wallner and Dotti attending the upcoming Soulforce action in Ft. Worth, TX at the general conference of United Methodists.

It was a fascinating discussion for all involved. We offered ways we can help, no matter where we are now, to prevent further thoughts, beliefs, and words leading to devastating actions. We had several spiritually-minded responses and gave perspective to how it feels to being on the receiving end of such talk around gay people being "the greatest threat" and a "death knell" to this country. Makes ya feel warm and fuzzy inside, huh.

In addition to a pro-Sally and anti-Sally remarks rally in Oklahoma City recently, Kern met with local PFLAG members including credible local ministers. They came out of the meeting pleased with how the meeting went, feeling hopeful and saying Kern didn't believe people ought to be fired for being gay, something that is allowed by law in Oklahoma and many other states like Ohio to this day.

Then, there was an article in The Oklahoman saying Kern's words were spun by PFLAG. I don't know why she'd take offense to something so humane for a public official to say as protecting people at work, but she did...at least according to the media.

We all know the media is known to make mistakes, God knows how many typos, misquotes and really weird "facts" have been added to interviews done with Luane and I around the movie. We just chuckle at some of the creativity some journalists have when reporting a story based on a live interview.

Whether or not the media was 100% accurate on Kern's thoughts on meeting with PFLAG, there's now a recording available of the meeting available for you to listen for yourself. It's 40 minutes long, enjoy.

In Honor of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr - (Jan 15, 1929 - April 4, 1968)

This year feels different as MLK's birthday and death anniversary rolls around. At Rev. Deborah Johnson's Inner Light Ministries in CA, Luane and I had the honor to work with Dr. Vincent Harding at her conference titled Time To Break the Silence....Again. Dr. Harding was the speech writer for King's "Vietnam Speech" and recently released a book called, Martin Luther King: The Inconvenient Hero. I got to meet and talk with Dr. Harding, who is one of the best listeners I've come across.

There's such a strong peace and groundedness about him. When you introduce yourself to him, he wants to know your full name, your mama mama's name and where you came from. He looks you in the eyes, listens and asks questions. He made me still and present. What an excellent teacher...he taught without teaching, he was just being.

As if that wasn't enough, he requested a copy of the movie and is very supportive. He signed my copy of his book, "For my sister, Kim Clark, With appreciation for your work in the spirit of King. Go Right On."

Then, I asked to give him a hug. He said, "You must!" When I hugged Dr. Vincent Harding, he not only wrapped his arms around me tightly as if saying a prayer for me and giving me strength, I realized I was in the same supportive arms as Martin Luther King once was. I was with a man who was right there in the middle of it all in the Civil Rights Movement. As he held me tight, I felt the transfer of memories, of pain, of peace, of patience from his experience. I flashed the emotional roller coaster ride he has lived...and survives as a clear man of spirit and peace.

It reminds me of a daily affirmation email I got this morning:

What if the one person who you believed liked you the least, Kim, loved you the most?

Yeah, "Hate when that happens...."

It sometimes happens like that, Kim.

On this day, I ask us to reflect on where we've been and where we're going. What kind of consciousness are you spreading each time you get in your car, around your kids, in the grocery story line, how you speak to your partner and alone and quiet in your head.

To piggy back on an earlier blog in taking care of each other, I ask today that you take care of yourself. You are always the beginning.