PFLAG and a Catholic Family on Oprah

Yesterday was national siblings day, apparently. I learned this from seeing Oprah's show yesterday. On it, she rolled video with an old film look showing photos from the '60s and '70s of a Catholic family of 8 from a small town who had tablefuls of cupcakes, two parents who loved each other and as Oprah said, June Cleaver must have lived in that house. An excellent approach to drop the bomb that 4 of the 8 siblings had come out in adulthood as gay. One of them is now the Executive Director of PFLAG, Jody Huckaby.

They talked about how the first brother came out in a letter while attending seminary to go into the priesthood. He was telling his family he was gay and that he was leaving seminary. The family did not take it well at all, especially the parents. For holidays, it was the elephant in the room that nobody talked about. Then, one by one, three more brothers came out. Two of the straight siblings were on the show to tell their story of how at first they rejected the gay brothers. One sister kept her kids from her brothers...the fear of the "gay influence" or the misinformation that being gay is somehow contagious like a cold. Side Story: This reminds me of someone I know who has been married to a man for over a decade and 98% of that marriage she's had a female love on the side. She mentioned once that with all her time with straight people, raised by straight family members, it definitely wasn't making her straight.

Anyway, so that was the sister's freak out. She eventually began praying (aka surrendering by releasing the outcome) and realized she needed to "stop judging and start loving". The audience applauded her. During her confession, she admitted it was her issue...she was worried about what others would think as she was a big player in her Church.

An older brother believed that they were choosing the lifestyle...and finally after brother #4 came out, he finally released that lie and recognized it is who they are. Now, they sit on the couch next to Oprah together on an episode called "Super Siblings".

We were thrilled to see Jody up there and having the story of religion and homosexuality told in a human being form. We partner with PFLAG and are thrilled they got a plug on the show and showed their recognition of the close tie of homophobia and religion.

Referring to the Cameron posting last week, the sister and older brother believed these lies and misinformation that others told them rather than believing their brothers at first. It set the family back. The sister even said she wouldn't accept in her brother what she couldn't accept in her own children. OUCH!!

Each brother didn't know for years that the others were gay. They never talked about it even though they each knew from an early age. They faked their way through dating in high school and prom night. Then one day they had to be honest and even though it didn't go easily at first, the family is together and it's a perfect story to come from when you're the head of PFLAG. Those are the roots of understanding what other families go through.

Inch by inch, the demystifying continues in mainstream media. GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) is even starting a Communities of Faith and Religion focus. More organizations and churches are finally getting the guts to acknowledge the elephant and get involved. This relates to one of the questions Rev. Deborah talked about in her interview with us last week on how all religions need an image makeover and regrouping of what the universal spiritual principles are. Catholicism traditionally focuses on the family and the Huckaby's found their way to the underlying spiritual intention: love. As a result, thousands and thousands of families have been touched by PFLAG and Jody's work. Who says what can one person do?

Out in America Reviews God & Gays

We're heading to Columbus, OH next week and a writer for Out in America did a review on our film. He lives in Columbus so I hope he'll come to the screening and we get to meet him to say thank you.

We appreciated his comments on the movie and the powerful endorsement he gives at the end of the article. We can see that our intentions with the movie are being met when we see press print back to us what we're wanting to accomplish, and they get it from the movie, on their own. The author says, "God and Gays is powerful and attitude-altering and is the cornerstone of new awareness of the diversity in the LGBT community and the issues within that are so troubling. Socially and politically rousing, I recommend this film for those who are struggling with religion, sexuality, and family acceptance. It could save your life, a loved one or familial relationships; that’s worth the time spent watching."

There's also a posting from a pastor in Tucson who has seen the movie, we're thinking he was at our screening there last October, "Yes, this documentary is very powerful and I know all the hurts and deep wounds of our beloved lgbt community... so I urge every gay and lesbian and straight person to see this film and take your family members. I would also ask that we all return to our houses of worship and stand up and be proud of who we are and we can be faith filled people too. I know, I know you all hate organized religion, but let's be more mature in our living and show the world we are awesome people and GOD loves US too! Now here is the link to the movie: www.godandgaysthemovie.com Let's be a blessings to each other and show the world a better way."

We're so grateful!!

Ya know, it's just inspiring when you make something out of nothing, like a movie, and others see it and get what you're trying to do and say. There's a couple corrections we'd like to offer to the article too. The first is that we only shot Jason Stuart in Los Angeles, the rest of the interviews were in different parts of the country and with folks from all over the place, from Virginia to Arkansas to Colorado to California. The second correction is the movie's attention to fundamentalism. Some folks experience that, yes of course, but people like Laura describe her experiences from the local "non denominational" mega church. We wanted people who were all over the map and she, and myself actually, don't have backgrounds in fundamentalism per se, but in the "seeker-friendly" mainstream churches.

The last correction is the narrow scope mentioned. The movie is actually the opposite. We deliberately didn't mention specific denominations and religious backgrounds because we didn't want people who weren't of those denominations to separate themselves out and say, "oh, well, I'm not Catholic so this doesn't apply to me."

Au Contraire. We made that choice in editing because we found it EXACTLY the same experience, no matter what the denomination and religion. The story is for anyone familiar with any religion that uses written doctrine and/or tradition to control, instead of a relationship with the heart of God. So, we actually were shooting to show the similarities, in order to be consistent with the message of oneness. If you're struggling with this issue, it doesn't matter if your Lutheran, Catholic, Jewish or Hindu. The experience of rejection, isolation, struggle, suicidal thoughts, loss of friends, jobs and family members is exactly the same. That's because we are the same.

The dividing and segmenting doesn't work. The separation between experiences and religions doesn't work. It just creates more division. More, "no one understands what I'm going through" when it's not true. So, let's try something new, getting back to the basics that we're all in this together, as one, as God intended from the beginning.

Thank you again to Out in America, the author and the comments posted. We're honored to be a part of their publication.