Yesterday was national siblings day, apparently. I learned this from seeing Oprah's show yesterday. On it, she rolled video with an old film look showing photos from the '60s and '70s of a Catholic family of 8 from a small town who had tablefuls of cupcakes, two parents who loved each other and as Oprah said, June Cleaver must have lived in that house. An excellent approach to drop the bomb that 4 of the 8 siblings had come out in adulthood as gay. One of them is now the Executive Director of PFLAG, Jody Huckaby.
They talked about how the first brother came out in a letter while attending seminary to go into the priesthood. He was telling his family he was gay and that he was leaving seminary. The family did not take it well at all, especially the parents. For holidays, it was the elephant in the room that nobody talked about. Then, one by one, three more brothers came out. Two of the straight siblings were on the show to tell their story of how at first they rejected the gay brothers. One sister kept her kids from her brothers...the fear of the "gay influence" or the misinformation that being gay is somehow contagious like a cold. Side Story: This reminds me of someone I know who has been married to a man for over a decade and 98% of that marriage she's had a female love on the side. She mentioned once that with all her time with straight people, raised by straight family members, it definitely wasn't making her straight.
Anyway, so that was the sister's freak out. She eventually began praying (aka surrendering by releasing the outcome) and realized she needed to "stop judging and start loving". The audience applauded her. During her confession, she admitted it was her issue...she was worried about what others would think as she was a big player in her Church.
An older brother believed that they were choosing the lifestyle...and finally after brother #4 came out, he finally released that lie and recognized it is who they are. Now, they sit on the couch next to Oprah together on an episode called "Super Siblings".
We were thrilled to see Jody up there and having the story of religion and homosexuality told in a human being form. We partner with PFLAG and are thrilled they got a plug on the show and showed their recognition of the close tie of homophobia and religion.
Referring to the Cameron posting last week, the sister and older brother believed these lies and misinformation that others told them rather than believing their brothers at first. It set the family back. The sister even said she wouldn't accept in her brother what she couldn't accept in her own children. OUCH!!
Each brother didn't know for years that the others were gay. They never talked about it even though they each knew from an early age. They faked their way through dating in high school and prom night. Then one day they had to be honest and even though it didn't go easily at first, the family is together and it's a perfect story to come from when you're the head of PFLAG. Those are the roots of understanding what other families go through.
Inch by inch, the demystifying continues in mainstream media. GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) is even starting a Communities of Faith and Religion focus. More organizations and churches are finally getting the guts to acknowledge the elephant and get involved. This relates to one of the questions Rev. Deborah talked about in her interview with us last week on how all religions need an image makeover and regrouping of what the universal spiritual principles are. Catholicism traditionally focuses on the family and the Huckaby's found their way to the underlying spiritual intention: love. As a result, thousands and thousands of families have been touched by PFLAG and Jody's work. Who says what can one person do?
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
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