What Does Don Imus Have to Do With Me?

Prior to doing the movie thing, I worked as a promotions and marketing director as well as on-air talent for radio stations starting in college. Eight years later, I left, just after the 1996 Telecommunications Act kicked in and media owners started the feeding frenzy. In the three years I was at my last station, we had 5 owners and often were orphans stuck in "LMAs" which is an ownership limbo.

While at the last station, our sister station had Don Imus in the Morning for a while. The calls my sister station colleagues would get about the program weren't not the "funnest" ways to start the day. Our sister station didn't keep his show on very long, even though it was a huge revenue stream and cheaper than a live morning show duo...the station actually saw through the money and went to a live morning show, and has thrived since.

But that's not really the Don Imus tie I wanted to bring up. The tie is something we eluded to in our monthly e-newsletter we blasted out today. The fact that America has two hugely avoided and uncomfortable topics in American conversation brought up in discouraging and desperate ways in just eight days is just cause for reflection and action. First, Don Imus makes yet another prejudiced and racist comment about african-american women. This brings up how normalized this speech seems as it is a core topic in rap videos and music and several other venues. Then with Virginia Tech and the student shooter, gun violence enacted by an alleged depressed, lonely, separated kid. Racism and gun violence. Perhaps at the surface, they look like separate isolated issues....and I beg to differ.

They are one in the same. Both are violent. Both are coming from a place of negative intention. Both are to harm and control. Both came from souls that didn't have tools to handle their fear differently and more beneficially. Both felt they had the right and were justified. We have to take responsibility for allowing our culture to raise such consciousness and such results. This behavior isn't outside of us, it's not separate from us. It takes a village and we as individuals make up that village, make up this culture and we have to take responsibility for our role in allowing the denigration of genders, races, cultures, orientations and religions through the vernacular, the everyday language. We have to take responsibility for the lone student allowed to be distanced from society, keeping the kid's imagination and life wrapped up in a head that can and will play tricks. No connection to the outside world, no connection to people equals no reason to live. Like wounded animals in the wild, he lashed out and had others feel the pain he was feeling internally. At least that way, he was no longer alone. He died with the others.

Here I am in the media and am I questioning Imus' free speech right? Ah, no. Free speech is an opinion, it is an expression of differing viewpoints and ideas. Free speech is not to slander, raise superiority, verbally assault, abuse and oppress. Free speech has a beneficial intention for society, it helps it question, learn and grow...not tear down, fight for lowest common denominator and break people's spirits.

The other tie is that these example incidents we are living with right now as a nation is no different than the equality GLBT persons seek in society. If it's one place in society, it's going to show up in another. All of this fear, all of this protection is carried down from generations. Just like domestic abuse or molestation, we have to break the cycle and let the harm end with us. Let us not carry on the fear, carry on the ignorance, carry on beating others down with our words, judgments and certainly our weapons...guns or tongues.

The time is ripe to be the change we seek. The time is ripe to improve our own worlds which will ripple to improving other's worlds and before we know it, we've improved our society and the rest of the world. I'll end the way we ended our e-newsletter blurb, lyrics from a popular song, "what kind of world do you want?" It's really up to you. How do you talk about others? What's your intent in your comments? What's your body language saying to your kids, colleagues and friends. What are you saying to yourself? How do you treat yourself? It really does start with you. And me. I'm in. You in?