A Straight Ally's Testimony During Day of Silence

Yesterday was Day of Silence. We got this story sent to us from a teenage woman in Illinois who is a straight ally, part of her school's GSA and wants to become a Christian pastor in the future. She participated in Day of Silence and had this real experience to share (there are swear words in it, we're keeping it real as this is how teenager's are talking, like it or not, effective or not):

"My friend and I were passing notes and she wrote "the girl behind you is being a bitch and trying to write on your shirt, she is also messing with your hair". I didn't move -- I hate confrontation. really. hate it. Then she started mumbling, and the things I heard were "gay mother-fucker" "bitch" "nasty" "She can't do nothin') and many other obsene and hurtful
comments. All of this while I was part of the day of silence. So I sat there and took it. It got so bad that I finally turned around and looked at her (still couldn't really say anything) which she followed with "turn around bitch you can't do shit to me. this bitch can't do nothin" I turned
around and my friends around me asked if I wanted them to say something. Even people I didn't know were asking if I was ok. This went on for the entire hour. The substitute not hearing anything over the sound of the movie. As we were leaving she kept talking about me. right next to me as if I was not there. I broke my silence right there when I said "are you serious??" she said "no bitch I'm kidding"....anyways our GSA sponsor went with me and I reported her... and I might have to file a sexual harassment claim. aaaaah. the whole day was very reflective until that hour. Please wish me luck tomorrow. Her parents were called and
her dean called her into the office. She knows it is me, and I get to sit in the same class with her tomorrow. Good things come from bad. Some students I didn't know were asking if I was ok. They knew it was wrong, and I guess that is a first step for a lot of people. Realizing that discrimination is not ok."

She has the courage and strength to stand for her peers in equality and someone else feeling threatened by it acted out like crabs boiling in water...when one tries to climb out, the others pull him down and as a result they ALL die (I'm vegetarian so the analogy grosses me out, but you get the point). In a culture where we often say, "Who do you think you are? Who are you?" instead of "Why not you. Why not me?" and allow each other to fly, this ally got first-hand experience of externalized fear and lack of understanding. We've been in contact with her and "coached" her some other tools to help open communication with the other woman rather than drive division and prepare her for other such instances. The altercation is a learning and growing opportunity and it's up to each of us what perception we have when we are in those situations...are we going to use it as a growing moment as it is presented to us or will we cower and recline to ineffective patterns keeping us stuck? I'll pose the same question as yesterday...are you in?