You Say It's Your Birthday

Today, I turn 38. I remember on my 30th birthday...I was so pissed. Not in a drunk way, I've never been into drinking, but in the ticked off way. I liked being in the 20-something category and was mad I was now 30. Then, I realized a very important fact of life...at this moment, I'm the youngest (biologically) I'll ever be again. I am older than I was five minutes ago, and so on.

This a-ha has helped me every birthday...I'm so young right now...and now....and now....and now. Makes me stay present...and as they say, we call it present because it's a gift.

I look at my being mad at being 30 and wish I was 30 again. This reminds me of the story about the 95 year old woman who said, "oh to be 70 again.". It's all relative, isn't it.

So, for your birthday, hug your mom and thank her for going through hell to have you on this day. I crack my mom up every year when I say thank you to her as I usually celebrate her on my birthday. I had the easy part I figure.

I was born 3.33am, late by a month apparently, already tall right out of the womb and a pisces which helps me understand why my work is my life and my life is my work. Well, I read that on some astrology site anyway.

Happy Birthday to you, whenever it is. Make sure to celebrate you, we are to be our own biggest fans. I'm off to eat Italian food and a dessert thing called a "pazookie"...so typical of Luane and I to eat something with such a bizarre name....of course, it includes a chocolate chip cookie, 2 in fact. Go big or go home. :)

Consistently Inconsistent

Howdy folks. One of the things I'm continuing to improve in my life is consistency. This comes to mind immediately as I blog for the first time in forever it seems. I miss it actually. I'm in my element when I write (sometimes stream of consciousness in all honesty) blogs, articles and just about everything. It comes with the cost of sitting at a computer however. We're filmmakers, we like to be up and about...using clothespins to hold up gels for lights (called C-47s in "the biz"), eating pizza inbetween takes and waiting for the plane over head to go by so audio is happy.

The other time I feel in my element is when we're doing a Q&A after a screening, teaching at a workshop, and participating on panels. I LOVE it. I taught for 8 years at a university and sometimes I'd only walk into the classroom with a topic and I'd end up with the best discussion and epiphanies I could share...never could happen when I planned it out. It's when I feel most connected to God, actually, which is probably why I'm so happy doing it. I always pray before we start that what is said is what is supposed to be said and always out of love and courage to be authentic. If you've come to a screening, hopefully that resonates with you and your experience with us and the movie.

The reason I mention my moments of being in my element and consistency is because I had a meeting with Rev. Deborah Johnson (she's in the movie) and we had an incredible talk about a million things and one of them was consistency. She helped me realize that when I look at the life stuff I don't enjoy as much and the times I worry or doubt or go chasing after outcomes I seek, I'm making something else my God. She mentioned that when I'm writing, when I'm doing public speaking, that's when I'm making God...God in my life. That's when I am trusting, when I have faith and it has always worked out for the best.

By not taking that faith, that trust, that connection with me in the rest of my life, I'm therefore disconnecting and placing faith in something or someone else...which leads to disappointment, fear, and more. It's like a universe safety measure...make something else your focus and it won't work...guaranteed. Rev. D. talks about how we as humans are charged to "tend the garden" and be careful to not run around and say "we do God's work". God's work is God's, it's not ours. We're to do what it is before us to do. What a relief, huh? As a result, we fit into the rhythm of life as God's work flows through us when we make ourselves available for it by not making our job, our movie (maybe that's just me), our plans, our mate the most important aspect of our focus as it drowns under pressure.

So, in the spirit of what Valerie Joi reminds us in the movie and what Rev. D reminded me yesterday, consistency is the key. Remember how you feel when you're in your element...and take it with you wherever you go.

Luane's a Marathoner in Training

Last week, Luane and I went to my Grandfather's memorial race in their small cowboy town here in California. My grandfather started this race when the town library was having financial difficulty and couldn't buy anymore big print books. Well, my grandmother, the avid reader and wise native american owl she was, read those big print books. They weren't just for her either, she'd read them out loud and record them so my grandfather and his traveling insurance salesmen friends could listen to them...the first audiobooks ever recorded.

My grandfather started running marathons in his sixties, was very active in the local Lions Club and a running club. He gathered his boys together and started a run for the library. After he passed - before his time - they named the race after him. We're proud as a family and reunite every February at the race. It's a special time to me.

Somehow, Luane and I missed the 1 mile run she signed up for and she ended up spontaneously running with me in the 5k. She not only was wearing her ski jacket but she also had to visit the bathroom...during the whole 3.2 miles. She did it. This is a woman who wasn't sure she could do a mile, someone who just a few years ago experienced FIVE car accidents in one year and was on her back for months.

She's truly a miracle. She rehabbed herself and just did a 5k....with a ski jacket on. While on the run, she met Team in Training members of the Leukemia Society. She was moved and fell for the idea that through a team situation, she may be able to handle a half marathon (13 miles).

She comes home, signs up with the local team, and they had been training for two months already. She shows up to the her first run with them and she runs 8 miles. No joke. In two weeks she went to "maybe I can do a mile" to running 8 miles (no ski jacket this time).

She signed up to run an entire marathon in Alaska in June. I'm so incredibly proud of her I can't contain it well. I run with her on her "buddy" runs and love being her cheerleader and number one fan. She's had this goal since last year and hadn't acted on it. Then, it ran along side of her and her ski jacket and she grabbed it.

Funny how life has a knack for showing up at the right time....here's to all the quantum leapers out there running a mile to 26 in whatever you do!

Alexandria - Success & Spheres

Maybe not the most PC of titles, but hey, truth is truth. Thanks to HRC, I flew to Alexandria, VA to be present with a screening of our movie at the Black History Museum hosted by the Alexandria GLCA. They are on fire...going from 30 to 300+ ACTIVE members in a short time, building alliances with Equality Virginia, local UCC churches, Virginia Partisans and many other community and political members.

I was fortunate to meet many of them in my brief stay and I'm a better person for it. I flew all day across the country reading Joe Vitale's Life's Missing Instruction Manual, somehow was sprite with energy when Richard picked me up in Baltimore and we enthusiastically chatted the whole way to VA. We recounted our days growing up in the Church of Christ...me in Oregon and him in Mississippi. We got there in plenty of time and had a wonderful dinner that included jasmine rice and this green bean thing that was to die for.

If you've been keeping up with this blog, you know there's two goals I have to every visit I'm on: eat at a locally owned restaurant and find a chocolate chip cookie (no nuts). Considering I was in VA from 5pm Thurs night until 5am the next morning, I managed to manifest both without even trying.

Greeted by Karen and Lewis who hosted the screening and enjoying the room filling up more and more to the point we had to keep the doors open and squish more chairs along the walls and...well, everywhere. This was the first Q&A I handled solo and although there were times I tried to toss a question to Luane's ghost, I think I did okay. The feedback was fantastic and the audience was very supportive and energized. I LOVED being at the Black History Museum in February with this movie. It was perfect. This is also where I had my first cookie.

During the Q&A, I try to find a way to encourage all of us to, in the words of Rev. D., "take this consciousness and multiply it"....so we are mindful of rippling out this energy and unconditional love and compassion for ourselves and others and not let it be a moment in passing. I retold a story Richard told me of two high school girls who allegedly committed suicide in a flash of Romeo and Juliet moment. One jewish, one a Christian, both women. And they wanted to be together. Taking their lives was how they thought they could be together. Had the screening been two weeks earlier, had someone who understands reconciliation gotten through to them and been a safe space for them....what ifs abound. For those of us in this work, we know how textbook this behavior choice has become, and how it almost became our story.

So that's how I'll wrap up this blog...you never know who's in your sphere of influence who could use your support - and remember, you don't have to understand in order to support - to be who they are, to have a safe space to go to...be out there and you'll be the change you hope to see.

What Happens Here, Happens Everywhere

I just wanted to post some links on what's going on with the UK's Anglican church and the US' Episcopalian church. What's going on reminds me of a friend who visited several churches with me when I moved. She couldn't understand why there were so many churches. After two years of trying every donut we could, she said "why aren't there more churches?" She found many churches the same and for her taste, worship style, etc. she wanted to see more churches. Well, the current chasm is one of many causes of church splits over history. It's hard to see this lesson of focusing on differences rather than our simlarities played over and over in religion. I'm wondering when God's lesson of unconditional love and oneness will finally prevail. Here's what my mother would call, the "2x4 theory" in action...that's why the last song of our movie is called, "Whisper". May we stop and just listen to the whisper.

Gay Christians march against Church homophobia UK The protestors will demand that the Archbishop of Canterbury provide equality for gay and lesbian Anglican Christians worldwide, and for the Catholic church ...

Nigerian Primate has unexpected Valentines Day gay encounter UKArchbishop Peter Akinola, scourge of lesbian and gay people and their supporters in the worldwide Anglican Communion, had an unexpected Valentines Day ...

Last bid to stop Anglican split According to the Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement (LGCM), some 100 bishops worldwide are homosexual, though many are not active. At the centre of the row is The Episcopal Church (TEC), the liberal body representing Anglicans in the US ...The Awakening - http://pietist.blogspot.com/index.html

Gay NZers abandon mainstream religions New Zealand
While mainstream Christian denominations such as Anglican, Presbyterian and Methodist churches refrain from overtly preaching an anti-gay message, ...

Article (Telegraph): gays, marriage and Rowan Williams He had long supported the Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement. His theological attitude to homosexual relations depended in part upon finding in the Bible a condemnation of homosexual acts performed for gratification, but no biblical ...Chelmsford Anglican Mainstream - http://chelmsfordanglicanmainstream.blogspot.com/index.html

We're Planning 2007 God & Gays: The Conference

We are so buzzing around the production office these days...in addition to booking appearances at Universities, churches, conferences and Pride celebrations in 2007, we're also flitting about putting together this year's God & Gays Conference! I am certainly very excited as it's my little baby. The movie is Luane's baby and what she does best and the conference is mine and what I do best. We're great professional as well as personal partners, as you can see.

I'll give you a hint about this year's conference....it'll be in the east side of the US. We're only having one this year and since it's the only one, like an only child, it's getting all the attention and the best stuff thrown at it.

As we get closer to our announcement date in April, I'll drop more clues. It's the best line up I've ever seen on this topic. I'm just blown away at the energy, enthusiasm and talent that's involved. All of us working on it are very clear in our intention to make it historical, unique, mind-blowing, heart-changing and life-altering.

So far, so great. It's hard for me to keep such an exciting secret until the time is right, but I'm gonna try. Just know that it's coming and to keep a vacation day free to attend. Start budgeting the airfare and hotel so you have a clear path to be there, no obstacles.

Intend to be there. Really. You will not want to miss this conference, it's like no other...

Gender Identity Crisis and Dr. Phil

On Wed Jan 17, Dr. Phil had a show on gender identity crisis. He opened the show with a transgender female to male (FTM) who had felt like a man all her life and wanted to have her breasts surgically removed in order to feel more comfortable and right with her body. She then plans on living fully as a man. Her mother and aunts are firmly against it. They handled her being a lesbian, but this is too much for them and feel they need to stop her...even though they don't understand why she wants the transformation. They don't need to, understanding isn't necessary, but support and compassion is. Do they love and want to protective their relative, absolutely no question...it's just how they go about it and being blinded by the boundary of where they stop and the other person starts.

The first thought we had while seeing the episode was of excitement since we rarely hear of Dr. Phil acknowledging GLBT people and their struggles in a somewhat ignorant society. But, as soon as I saw how they placed the stage furniture and how it was three of the trans' relatives against her, facing each other in opposition, it was going to get ugly and ugly it did get. Was there violence or hatespeech? No. But nevertheless abuse. Verbal abuse came from the trans' aunt who actually had brought a Bible with her on the show. They were raised Catholic and there's actually a good few minutes were the aunt said over and over again that Jesus will quench her desires of the lifestyle and to just accept God and Jesus into her heart.

It sounds sweet, caring and loving on the surface. But here's the rub: it was making the judgment and assumption that the trans FTM wasn't already in divine alignment. The assumption is that if someone is GLBT, they aren't in relationship and obedience to God when the opposite is almost always true, which is why they come out. While the aunt went off, the FTM tried to explain that her God is a loving God and Jesus is in her heart already but the aunt kept going to the point that the FTM just sat there, battered and shut down, ganged up against.

What breaks our hearts the most on this is that Dr. Phil didn't intervene. He didn't stop the aunt from these horrific assumptions. He didn't tell the family to go to PFLAG, to seek out their own resources to find a way to love their relative through this process no matter what, he didn't offer them counseling, he didn't put the harmful behavior in check, he didn't make them accountable to their judgment, reminding them that their lack of comfort around this surgical decision is their own, it has NOTHING to do with the FTM person. It's their own baggage and discomfort and they're pushing it onto the FTM, which will just drive the FTM into more isolation, anger and who knows what - but it won't be beneficial.

The FTM probably trusted she was in a safe and protected environment and then wasn't protected at all, while on a national television show, vulnerably talking about body parts and orientation.

The rest of the stories, Dr. Phil was more compassionate and understanding which was fantastic to see. My heart just ached for the the FTM and it's because this kind of situation is happening all over the country, we made the film and are touring. We've asked Dr. Phil's show for permission to show portions of the episode so if you missed it, you can catch up on it. We'll let you know when we have it available.

Overall, we're still thrilled Dr. Phil did this show. I think talking about these issues and putting human faces to them is crucial to the solution so we're grateful he took them on and showed areas of the conversation that still needs some work.

Out in America Reviews God & Gays

We're heading to Columbus, OH next week and a writer for Out in America did a review on our film. He lives in Columbus so I hope he'll come to the screening and we get to meet him to say thank you.

We appreciated his comments on the movie and the powerful endorsement he gives at the end of the article. We can see that our intentions with the movie are being met when we see press print back to us what we're wanting to accomplish, and they get it from the movie, on their own. The author says, "God and Gays is powerful and attitude-altering and is the cornerstone of new awareness of the diversity in the LGBT community and the issues within that are so troubling. Socially and politically rousing, I recommend this film for those who are struggling with religion, sexuality, and family acceptance. It could save your life, a loved one or familial relationships; that’s worth the time spent watching."

There's also a posting from a pastor in Tucson who has seen the movie, we're thinking he was at our screening there last October, "Yes, this documentary is very powerful and I know all the hurts and deep wounds of our beloved lgbt community... so I urge every gay and lesbian and straight person to see this film and take your family members. I would also ask that we all return to our houses of worship and stand up and be proud of who we are and we can be faith filled people too. I know, I know you all hate organized religion, but let's be more mature in our living and show the world we are awesome people and GOD loves US too! Now here is the link to the movie: www.godandgaysthemovie.com Let's be a blessings to each other and show the world a better way."

We're so grateful!!

Ya know, it's just inspiring when you make something out of nothing, like a movie, and others see it and get what you're trying to do and say. There's a couple corrections we'd like to offer to the article too. The first is that we only shot Jason Stuart in Los Angeles, the rest of the interviews were in different parts of the country and with folks from all over the place, from Virginia to Arkansas to Colorado to California. The second correction is the movie's attention to fundamentalism. Some folks experience that, yes of course, but people like Laura describe her experiences from the local "non denominational" mega church. We wanted people who were all over the map and she, and myself actually, don't have backgrounds in fundamentalism per se, but in the "seeker-friendly" mainstream churches.

The last correction is the narrow scope mentioned. The movie is actually the opposite. We deliberately didn't mention specific denominations and religious backgrounds because we didn't want people who weren't of those denominations to separate themselves out and say, "oh, well, I'm not Catholic so this doesn't apply to me."

Au Contraire. We made that choice in editing because we found it EXACTLY the same experience, no matter what the denomination and religion. The story is for anyone familiar with any religion that uses written doctrine and/or tradition to control, instead of a relationship with the heart of God. So, we actually were shooting to show the similarities, in order to be consistent with the message of oneness. If you're struggling with this issue, it doesn't matter if your Lutheran, Catholic, Jewish or Hindu. The experience of rejection, isolation, struggle, suicidal thoughts, loss of friends, jobs and family members is exactly the same. That's because we are the same.

The dividing and segmenting doesn't work. The separation between experiences and religions doesn't work. It just creates more division. More, "no one understands what I'm going through" when it's not true. So, let's try something new, getting back to the basics that we're all in this together, as one, as God intended from the beginning.

Thank you again to Out in America, the author and the comments posted. We're honored to be a part of their publication.

Ohio Update - Selling out in 72 hours

Wow. We've been blown away by the response we're getting as we pack up our gear again and start our Spring 2007 tour in Ohio. We tried to fit in Ohio in the fall, but I wasn't satisfied fitting in Ohio. Didn't feel right and I'm sure glad we were patient. Now, we're in Columbus on Jan 23rd and in Toledo on Jan 25th. We're getting some fantastic time to meet with local religious leaders and Equality Ohio. We'll be a part of a fantastic panel at a Columbus jewish temple and then the screening that night. The screening sold out quickly less than a week ago and then they moved it to a larger theatre and in less than 72 hours, they filled it up again. So, please come to the panel and the Toledo showing if you're in the area, seats are still available in Toledo. Go to the God & Gays website for event details.

We learned that Ohio is LAST on the list for being a welcoming state to GLBT people. For example, if you're gay, it doesn't matter how incredible you are at your job, wonderfully personable and loved by your co-workers, you can still be fired just because you're gay. Amazing, isn't it...living in Silicon Valley for awhile, I just can't fathom the justification of such inhumanity. It's no different than if you were too short, too tall, hair was too curly...you could be fired for curly hair. It's the same absurdity. Well, being gay can be offensive and uncomfortable in the workplace? For one, those who are uncomfortable are the ones needing change, not the gay person who's being how God created them. Now if they are gay AND have curly hair....oye.

Alas, there are tremendous shifts going on. King Ave. Methodist church is a huge supporter of the screening and the events are headed by Ohio State University's multicultural center. I'm proud to be associated with these institutions and look forward to blogging from Ohio. We'll let you know how it all goes and we hope to see you at the screenings.

St. John's Atlanta

God & Gays is partners with Soulforce and we get their newsletter which recently had a great list of MLK videos to recommend. Since Mel White founded Soulforce based on Martin Luther King, Jr. and Gandhi principles, I tend to listen to the recommendations. I'm a student of MLK and Gandhi as well, which is one of the reasons we sought out Soulforce first when we barely had the idea for the documentary under way.

They also included a story and prayer vigil on an Atlanta Lutheran pastor who will be in hearings this Friday based on charges put up by a fellow Lutheran pastor. I pasted the story below, as well as the link for more information on the prayer vigil.

We've contacted the pastor and expressed our unconditional support and appreciation for him. We're looking to Atlanta as a tour stop area and if are in that area, let us know so we can notify you when we're heading to town. For now, we'll keep our focus on someone who needs the positive energy and focus. Thanks for caring about strangers. You know what Jesus says about that... :)

On August 8, 2006, Bishop Ronald Warren of the Southeastern Synod filed formal charges with the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) against Pastor Schmeling because of his committed relationship with Rev. Darin Easler. Currently, the ELCA has a policy that excludes gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender persons in relationships from the ordained ministry. The congregation, which stands in solidarity with Pastor Schmeling, prays the ELCA will change its policy or that Bishop Warren will drop the charges before a disciplinary hearing is scheduled to begin on January 19, 2007.

During the hours that the trial is in session, members of St. John's will keep vigil in the sanctuary. Those wishing to keep watch and pray in solidarity during this time with others around the world may register online in blocs of 1 1/2 hour. Your name will appear in the online list, along with others who are in vigil, and will be posted at the church and at the trial site. (You can register anonymously if you wish.) A meditation guide of readings will also be available for printing. Please forward this request to join the online prayer vigil to as many people as possible. We want to demonstrate to the hearing committee and to the ELCA just how many people are watching and praying.

Go to http://stjohnsatlanta.org/prayervigil.php5 to sign up for the prayer vigil.

Gays, Fish & Catholics

There's a knarly public debate going on about the Los Angeles Archdiocese updating the Christian fish symbol to include the rainbow colors, which are used to represent gay pride. Their website is very open about their mission in being inclusive for every person and their faith communities.

One article, and there are many, gives a lot of space to the Biblical Family Advocates' response.

What I find most interesting is the rainbow fish symbol has been used for years...and years for Christian gays and lesbians. The open and affirming churches who make the commitment and proactive decision to participate in gay pride marches every June usually are wearing the pins, and proudly, whether they are gay or straight. As they see there's no difference between the two in their perspective, in their eyes, just like God's. God made us all, end of story. It's not more complicated than that and I still am so very puzzled at the energy, the anger, the money, the hate, the control, the pain that is aggressively utilized to make it more complicated.

I used to teach a media theory class at a California University. I loved it. The discussions we'd have...wow. One idea we'd talk about in depth is the use of master symbols. Master Symbols are things, ideas, objects, images that when used over and over again in a controlled context, establish and stabilize an emotional relationship, allegiance and obedience from people.

Here's an example. What comes to your mind first when I write "nazi". The swastika on a German flag? Hitler? What about the emotions you're feeling? Usually, there's immediate distaste, a sinking feeling in our gut, maybe a rise in heart rate, a scowl on our face...different physical manifestations expressing how feel inside.

So, the fish symbol, as described in the linked article, comes from the Greek word "ixthys" which is an acronym for Jesus Christ is God. I'm sure you've seen the stickers or magnet fish on the back of minivans and SUV's, maybe you've even seen the offshoots of an animal eating the fish as a means to express evolution instead of creationism as the world's beginning.

With the contextual repetition of the fish symbol in Christian and Catholic circles, the value was formed of that segment of society as owning its use and meaning. They defend their permission of free speech to use it as well. When the Darwinists pollute it or apparently the gay community, it's some form of disgrace. As if to say, the usage of the symbol is more important than the people expressing through it. They are allowed to use it and control its meaning, it's for no one else to touch and/or have a different opinion.

It's indicative of the whole debate of religion and spirituality. That religion is more important than the person. The how something is expressed is more important than the who and the what.

The bottom line I used to say to the class is, ultimately, in this example, the fish on the minivan is nothing more than plastic and adhesive. It's only as valuable as we claim it to be. To a retailer of a Christian bookstore, the sticker's value is $2.99. To the Biblical Family Advocates, it's more valuable than human beings wanting to live as how God created them.

I often do motivation checks on myself, making sure I act only out of integrity. When a thing becomes more important than a human being, it's time to chill and do some surrendering to God. There's a lesson there for me to learn and I'm forever a student on this path of life, learning every day.

Congrats to the LA Archdiocese, I'm proud of them for getting the lesson and living out loud, Christ-like.

More of a GLBT community than we realize

We were recently privy to a presentation on how to market to the gay community. I giggled when I heard of the recent publications in the marketing community as it finally turns its focus at a macro level to advertising to the gay community niche. I giggled because this is progress. Having spent time in Silicon Valley, the epicenter of the technological world that makes this blog possible, it's been common practice for YEARS in high-tech to hire whoever was the best in what they do. Corporations figured out a long time ago to be color, religion and preference "blind" when making hiring choices. In order to stay competitive and attract the best minds, if the person was gay or not, didn't matter to the company bottom line. So, I knew when the advertising market started to take the gay community seriously, the barriers built upon discrimination would continue to fall, like the Berlin Wall.

There's so much money at stake at ad agencies, a false move loses millions of dollars. But they are also the risk takers. With more television, film, book and online content created for, by and to the gay community, advertisers are psyched to get a piece of the discretionary income pie in a marketplace oft filled with singles and couples without kids. Cha-ching.

So, here's some stats from the presentation that you may find interesting.

- There's 15+ million GLBT adults (over 18 years old) in the US (this is a severe conservative underestimation)
- Approx 8 million men, 6 million women who self-identify as "out"
- Gays live in 99.3% of the US Counties
- Over 2 million known gay coupled-families with kids under 18, one in four same-sex couples

So, if you're struggling, by sheer numbers, you aren't alone. You are not the only gay person in town. Plus, perhaps this helps make sense why people want the tax breaks and government acknowledgment for marriage...to protect families, in whatever shape and form they may come in.

I have many many more stats and will share them here and there in this blog. For reference on the latest book published on marketing to the gay community, check out Business Inside Out: Capturing Millions of Brand Loyal Gay Consumers

The Gift of an Eraser - Happy New Year & We're Coming to Ohio!

Hi everyone, and happy new year from Luane and I. Thank you again for your support during the fall launch of God & Gays and our first ever tour. Things are really ramping up for our touring schedule which starts Jan 23rd in Ohio. We'll continue to update our website with dates as they become available and don't be shy about emailing our booking folks if you'd like us to come to your University, church, organization.

We're really excited to be working with Ohio State and Equality Ohio on Jan 23rd and then Univ of Toledo on the 25th. We've been working with OSU for several months to get a date locked as they were one of the first to work with us and it's finally happening! We're very excited. One of the reasons we didn't make it to Ohio during the fall was because we would have had to squish them in and I'm not cool with that. I wanted to spend quality time in Ohio, meet with political and religious leaders, be available for trainings and talks. Because of that patience, it's paying off. Our OSU host is doing a phenomenal job rallying the troops like local churches and Equality Ohio and we may have a panel discussion with...well, I shouldn't say until it's finalized. He's a major leader in a major organization nationwide and being in his presence is always an honor. Working with him on reconciliation at a micro and macro level is the best work I can spend my time doing. Stay tuned on details on the events at the Ohio screenings.

In the meantime, here's something to start off your 2007 with self-unity in mind. Thanks to my uncle for posting this on our family's group site:

The Gift of an Eraser

A new year is upon us,
Fresh goals are being set;
But doubts and fears still linger
From past ones we haven’t met.

Erase away those doubts, and fears
That you will not succeed.
Commitment and positive attitude
Are really all you need.

You have it in you to reach your goal,
Of that I have no fear.
So “erase” those mistakes and look ahead
To a new beginning for a new year.

Please take this little eraser
To help you create a clean slate.
Wipe away doubts, fears, and failures.
In 2007, you’re going to be GREAT!

Entering in the new year - Gandhi & cats

Hi guys. I'm sore today and I think I best get used to it. I've been joining in on Luane's workouts with our personal trainer and Luane's been sick so the trainer's had me to focus on and she worked me hard yesterday. The cool part is she does exercises with me without machines, the weight I lift is usually my own, we use stuff around the house like chairs, stairs and walls. Anyway, so I've been running more often lately and after the work out yesterday, I combined errands with exercise and ran this morning to the DVD store (a locally owned one, yes, they do still exist!) to return movies we watched over Christmas. I'm paying high for it now. I've been here on the computer working for a few hours and ugh, my thigh muscles are screaming.

Our two cats are also huddled in the office here with me around the portable heater. They sit around it (or sleep) like a campfire, sm'ores are sure to be next.

The pain of getting my body into better shape coupled with the innocence and simplicity of our cats snoozing got me to thinking of how to mentally and emotionally prepare for 2007. We have so many amazing plans in the works that I'm excited about, I can hardly wait. But wait I will, like recovering from sore muscles, so I enjoy the journey along the way. The simplicity of the cats reminds me of no matter how crazy our calendars get, Luane and I have to keep our focus and remember to do the dishes. The simple, humble tasks are quite meditative for me actually. One of the movies I returned today was Gandhi, the epic film with Ben Kingsley. I study Gandhi, among others, but seeing how this national leader of 300 million people spends his days spinning thread and mud packing goat legs made perfect sense to me. I totally get it.

So, as I head into 2007, I charge into it with a lot of gusto here in 2006. The balance of physical action pulling us more and more into becoming more of who we are now - and the simplicity of smelling the roses (or sleeping by a portable heater) to make sure we don't miss a moment of life available to live.

Best to you as we head to New Year's. Talk to you in 2007, it's gonna be FUN!!!

Episcopalians on the Mend - Update on the Snow People

Hope you all had a WONDERFUL Christmas! Luane and I did, we went to see Pursuit of Happyness and webcam'd with my family in Florida. Luane has a cold, we lit a fire, she had JoJo fall asleep on her (one of our cats), she got me a voice recorder so I can record my article, blog and workshop ideas no matter where I am (will come in handy when we start touring again in January) and I made her a mixed CD and got her the Quantum version of What the Bleep?! Down the Rabbit Hole. See...told you our personal and professional worlds are pretty intermingled.

If you've seen the movie, you've seen the two women standing in the snow while there is a truck behind them that garbage is being thrown into and off camera you can hear a stage being torn down. Ah, yes, the fun of indy filmmaking. Well, we talk about a lot of those behind the scenes anecdotes on our audio commentary track that we haven't released yet. I have a knarly cough when we recorded it so it'll surely be a classic cinema treasure when we release it.

One of the Snow People, Kathy, talks about her estranged relationship with the very kids she raised in the church. They are Episcopalian and if you haven't heard what's going on with that denomination recently, check out one of many articles on the Virginia churches. Anyway, we don't know if this has had an influence on Kathy's kids, but Kathy recently wrote us and gave us an update on how she and her kids are doing. It's perfect to cozy us up as we head into the holidays:

"Things have shifted a little with my kids. My son and I met face to face for the first time in over five years on the day before Thanksgiving. I also met my granddaughter for the first time. We stayed away from the subject of God and Gays for the three hours we were together. It was a beginning. We have exchanged one email each since then. He seems ready to figure out how we can relate now.

My daughter came to see me in October. I had not seen her or her daughter for two years. She said she came to see me to ask for forgiveness for trying to play the Holy Spirit in my life. She has been in therapy and is working through some personal issues.

Both visits made me very grateful that I didn't shut them out or discount my relationship with Donna. They both know that I love them and want relationship with them but... relationship with them is not more important than my living in truth about who I am and the reality that Donna is my partner for life.

I don't know where my relationship with my kids is headed. I do know that both of my granddaughters now know I exist. That feels good. Hopefully they will ask questions that will help to change the world in the years to come."

Be Who You Are and the rest will follow...

The Perfect Christmas Carol - indy style

We have found the ultimate Christmas carol for your viewing pleasure. Check this out and appreciate indy art with us!

Vote for Mel White as Person of the Year 2006

Mel White has been nominated as person of the year by gay.com and is need of your vote. We are obviously very proud of Mel, we're proud of him being a star in our movie, proud of his work with the Equality Ride (along with Jacob Reitan who's also in our movie with his AMAZING parents Randi and Phil) and the release of his book Religion Gone Bad. Mel is the Martin Luther King in the struggle to reconcile religion and homosexuality and Soulforce, based on Gandhi and MLK's teachings, is the vehicle to get people's attention that there's a serious civil rights issue going on right now. Mel receives letters, emails, phone calls and visits from people crying and scared, he gets the letters from people who soon commit suicide or from their family members. He's the guy who's had his life threatened many times because of his standing up for what he believes and his passion for people to be whole and have a relationship with God. Mel is seriously underrated. Being in the same room with him, you can feel his power and his humility. His love and compassion for people is the best Christ-like behavior I've ever experienced first-hand. Please register your vote to help Mel be recognized as Person of the Year....and feel free to add a comment to the bottom of the page and let them know they need to add to Mel's bio that he's in God & Gays: Bridging the Gap and that he has his new book out. How they missed that info, is a mystery. The website's parent company did a feature story on God & Gays just recently! Thanks for your support!

New documentaries coming your way...

We've noticed there are indy filmmakers who, I guess in the spirit of competition, are just unfriendly and only promote themselves. Then there are others who do share, who do want to support colleagues and have realized that there's enough interest and audience for all of our films and works. Have you seen one movie and that's it? Read one book and that was it? I dontinkso. So, we make sure we fall into the latter category and help keep you in the loop of documentaries along our subject that would be helpful to you.

Plus, many people have asked us if we'll do more segmented versions of our movie - for Mormons, for Asian-American people, etc. We've definately toyed with the idea and it's still not out of the realm of possibility. In the meantime, I wanted to let you know of some docs that are in post-production right now and you ought to keep an eye on for their release.

The Truth About God made the short list for Sundance that's happening next month but didn't make it in. It's a movie geared in telling the stories about Mormons and homosexuality. Then there's the latest one from the director of Trembling Before G*d, In the Name of Allah, which was shot in 9 countries, dealing with homosexuality and Muslims. There's a short (22 mins) doc on Asian-American gays and lesbians called In God's House as well.

If you hear of other segmented documentaries you'd like us to know about, please feel free to send a comment to this posting. We love that this silence is being broken and documentary filmmakers are leading the way, I'm proud to be a part of the growing conversation and as Darlene Bogle recently wrote to someone who lives in Ohio and inquired about our film:

"Have you seen the DVD? It's available for purchase now through the website. The film has been received well as it has been shown across the country. Our prayer is that it will open the doors of dialogue and that many in the GLBT community will find help as well as open doors to mainline Christian churches have been judgmental and condemning. I am just one of the folks interviewed on the documentary, but I know that with the birth of this film there is going to be many lives saved that would have drowned in the sea of rejection."

A dolphin told me to have fun

Before Luane and I started on our tour last September, one of the things she, my coach, friends and family had been encouraging me to do is, basically, have fun. "I don't know how to have fun anymore" I whined, and continued, "I've forgotten how." Poor me, huh. Well, part of my "work" I've been doing is realizing consciously these totally unsupportive and victim-based statements coming out of my own mouth. It's a lot of work, to be truly present and realize what you're saying, what we're espousing, what we're putting out there as some sort of truth, but OH does it make a DIFFERENCE!



Well, what better teacher to help me do something about the fun thing, than a spinner dolphin on the Big Island. In September, we were invited to join a group of people we did and didn't know to a house where we'd get up every morning and join the locals in a swim with wild dolphins while they were still awake and very playful, coming in from their night of feeding. We'd leave when the obnoxious tourists would come and the dolphins got tired and started their shut down and low swimming patterns. Did you know that dolphins shut down half their brain and one eye and sleep, then trade off to the other side? How cool is that?



Back to the story. So one morning, we each decided to give the dolphins something to help us heal. Mine was to have fun again. We'd use thoughts and feelings, they'd sonar us. This is the morning they were particularly frisky and the babies were performing such beautiful acrobatics for us, it was just incredible. A small pod started doing their flips right in front of me, as to say, hey, let us demonstrate fun for you, shall we? They kept going and going and I'd cheer them on and laugh. The more they did it, the more I started to cry once I realized what they were saying to me. Disclaimer: I don't advise crying while in the middle of a bay in a snorkel and mask....unpleasant.



After their grand finale, they swam about three in front of me and one, the younger one, looked right at me, square in the eyes and nodded his head, smiling and opening his mouth like Flipper did - he looked so happy, he was actually laughing and having a great time. So, in getting the message, I began bawling in my snorkel and mask, fogging the mask and choking on sea water in the snorkel. I didn't seem to care. I just got healed.



So, what made me think of this four months later is how we are sending out cards saying Happy Holidays. I refuse to let such supportive terms like Happy and Holidays roll off my tongue sterile. I won't take them for granted anymore. On one wrist I wear a bracelet from India, on another one with Chinese characters spelling out happiness in couplehood. I'm getting better at the fun thing and the being happy now thing. Yesterday, I threw a cookie at Luane in jest and having played softball since kindergarten, my aim and speed was right on. I encourage all of us to remember the fun we can create and allow daily. Have a fun and happy holiday everyone.





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Same Sex Couples Struggle for Legal Protection

We're often asked what the differences are with civil unions, domestic partnerships and full marriage rights. Although there's a bazillion resources on the web that'll lay these out (see hrc, lambda legal and others) here's a real sense of what Wisconsin gay couples are facing in light of the 59% passage of the discriminatory ban on same-sex marriages. Other states - Colorado, Virginia, etc. - have the same issues. Some people are moving out of those states - gay AND straight - as they don't want to associate themselves with states that blatantly and "legally" discriminate. As Leonardo DiCaprio recently said on Oprah (paraphrased) about his movie Blood Diamond which is about the war and killings that go on to mine diamonds in parts of Africa to feed the materialistic appetite of the US, "we vote when we buy". Many people are voting to stay in churches, states, companies, Universities, schools that are blatantly discriminatory. At private Christian colleges, each student must sign an agreement to "acceptable" forms of behavior. Within the top five mentioned is no homosexual activity or personhood. Many students sign it anyway knowing they are gay because either they are still hiding from their family and they want their college paid for and not get kicked out of the house, or they are basically saying they have no value to other people's rules and will do what they please, and try not to get caught. It can also encourage homophobia and violence (emotional, verbal or physical) on gay people.

Some people who choose to "vote" this way do help keep the spiral silence going, but some believe they stay so they can change from within the system. Some do. Most don't. It's a great idea and I hope people do change hearts and minds they have contact with, we just hope it's a stand that's taken to the point of not forcing an 18 year old to discriminate by signing a piece of paper and contributing to the deafening silence. I hope it's to a point that if a gay person is in the hospital they are lucky enough to have doctors and nurses who allow them to be visited by their gay partner since right now that obvious right is illegal in some areas still.

So, we encourage all of us to deliberately look at our votes and be conscious about what we're voting for and therefore standing for with our time, money and attention. In each moment we have choices and the purpose of goals is to keep us on the path to what we want. What do you want for Christmas? For some of us, it's equality so in each moment we make choices that'll lead to that desired outcome. As Rev. Deborah says in the movie, "all I want is what you would have given me before you started taking things away from me before you knew I was gay. I don't want anything more and nothing less." This is what's on our grown up Christmas list.