Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Consistently Inconsistent

Howdy folks. One of the things I'm continuing to improve in my life is consistency. This comes to mind immediately as I blog for the first time in forever it seems. I miss it actually. I'm in my element when I write (sometimes stream of consciousness in all honesty) blogs, articles and just about everything. It comes with the cost of sitting at a computer however. We're filmmakers, we like to be up and about...using clothespins to hold up gels for lights (called C-47s in "the biz"), eating pizza inbetween takes and waiting for the plane over head to go by so audio is happy.

The other time I feel in my element is when we're doing a Q&A after a screening, teaching at a workshop, and participating on panels. I LOVE it. I taught for 8 years at a university and sometimes I'd only walk into the classroom with a topic and I'd end up with the best discussion and epiphanies I could share...never could happen when I planned it out. It's when I feel most connected to God, actually, which is probably why I'm so happy doing it. I always pray before we start that what is said is what is supposed to be said and always out of love and courage to be authentic. If you've come to a screening, hopefully that resonates with you and your experience with us and the movie.

The reason I mention my moments of being in my element and consistency is because I had a meeting with Rev. Deborah Johnson (she's in the movie) and we had an incredible talk about a million things and one of them was consistency. She helped me realize that when I look at the life stuff I don't enjoy as much and the times I worry or doubt or go chasing after outcomes I seek, I'm making something else my God. She mentioned that when I'm writing, when I'm doing public speaking, that's when I'm making God...God in my life. That's when I am trusting, when I have faith and it has always worked out for the best.

By not taking that faith, that trust, that connection with me in the rest of my life, I'm therefore disconnecting and placing faith in something or someone else...which leads to disappointment, fear, and more. It's like a universe safety measure...make something else your focus and it won't work...guaranteed. Rev. D. talks about how we as humans are charged to "tend the garden" and be careful to not run around and say "we do God's work". God's work is God's, it's not ours. We're to do what it is before us to do. What a relief, huh? As a result, we fit into the rhythm of life as God's work flows through us when we make ourselves available for it by not making our job, our movie (maybe that's just me), our plans, our mate the most important aspect of our focus as it drowns under pressure.

So, in the spirit of what Valerie Joi reminds us in the movie and what Rev. D reminded me yesterday, consistency is the key. Remember how you feel when you're in your element...and take it with you wherever you go.

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